Welcoming All Life Experiences

A little over a week ago, I’d been feeling very drained…mentally, emotionally, physically and even spiritually. As much as I love reading, exercising, cooking, etc, I had no desire to do any of it.

I had moments like these before (years ago), but they were for extended periods of time. This time, it only lasted two days, and I’m grateful for that. I understand what I’m going through on all levels of my Being (to include expanding my consciousness), but that’s another story.

Another difference between my past experiences of depression and now is my perception of them. During these recent days of low energy, I chose to just Be rather than judge myself.

I thought, what can I tell myself as my own best friend? I then said, “Be gentle with yourself Bobbie…have self-compassion. You don’t always have to be continuously thinking and doing ‘positive’ things and Being super ‘positive.’ Give yourself a break to just get a breather, and honor your feelings (so that you can heal) rather than ignore, judge, suppress or reject them.”

Note: Thank you www.chakra-anatomy.com  for peaceful image on right.

I reminded myself to just follow my path of excitement to the best of my ability in the Moment of Now (a teaching from amazing Bashar, channeled through Darryl Anka), as tiny as that excitement was during those moments.

I just allowed myself to Be free by not feeling obligated to do or Be anything I didn’t feel like doing or Being. I even enjoyed just reading and watching videos that seemed interesting.

I was also reminded that I consciously chose to work on loving myself unconditionally (one of the most challenging things I’ve ever done) and expand my consciousness, so I better be prepared to do and Be whatever it takes to accomplish that, which includes “doing no-thing.” The article, “Ascension Symptoms – Experiencing the Finer Realms” (<= click title to view in another window) has been very helpful as well.

Note: Thank you www.redbubble.com for captivating and colorful image on left.

Before this new year of 2014, I had an intention to welcome all life experiences since I believe that higher aspects of ourselves—especially our True Self/soul/spark of God, Goddess and Divine Spirit/All That Is—send them to us for our soul growth (a teaching that I learned from Neale Donald Walsch and others).

Watch what you wish for, right? I was aware the moment I had made that decision that I also had to be prepared to experience (via people, things, situations) some of my deepest fears. However, I believe facing our deepest fears, especially our fear of the unknown, will accelerate our soul growth.

My goal was to first take a deep breath whenever I felt that I was in a “negative” situation or around a “negative” person or thing. I would first thank my True Self for sending me the disguised blessing, and then silently welcome it into my space with my open mind and heart. Then, I would ask, “What I can I learn from this?” or “What I can remind a soul brother or soul sister?”

I believe we help one another to better understand and define ourselves, since we reflect ( like a mirror) each other’s”positive” and “negative” aspects.

Note: Thank you www.biancamoeschinger.com for beautiful and profound image on right.

I would also focus on having an untroubled mind by reminding myself to just observe and understand rather than judge what is.

A deeper understanding of the situation, person or thing would allow me to feel empathy, have compassion, forgive, accept, embrace and love unconditionally.

 Situations, ideas and things that show up in our realty helps us to recognize what kind of thoughts we’ve been sending out to the universe (whether positive or negative), which reminds us to not only be more aware of our thoughts, and to only focus on thoughts that we would like to manifest in our reality, but that we are also co-creators of our own reality.

For instance, I recently received a so-called “negative” feedback from sharing an explanation of why I noticed the video that I shared on Google+. You would think that my energy level dropped during the week due to this happening; however, ironically, it was the other way around…it gave me the opportunity to raise my vibration.

Although I initially and very briefly reacted out of fear by allowing the comment to negatively affect my emotions (since no one really likes to be ridiculed or criticized), I caught myself seconds later and thought, “Be Clarity. Be Real Peace (not allowing outer circumstances to affect my inner world.)”

Note: Thank you www.pinterest.com for perfect quote/poster on left.

Granted, it’s been a while since the last time I received any “negative” feedback from anything I shared on my blog, Twitter or Google+, but I suppose I didn’t really miss it because I hadn’t gained any insight from the previous “negative’ experiences.

I do understand though why I received “negative” feedback; I sometimes (or perhaps often) mention things that are unconventional and even controversial.

However, I’m perfectly okay with that because my blog gives me the opportunity to freely and fully express all aspects of myself; and the less I feel inclined to please others (billions of various opinions out there), or feel obligated to say the “right” things (which is only relative to what one believes)…the more I become my authentic, True Self.

Note: Thank you www.redbubble.com for perfect image on right.

When it comes to my blog, most of the time I feel invisible, but that’s been perfectly okay as well ever since I’ve learned from the teachings of the Arcturians and Pleiadians that those who have the eyes to see will see, and those who have the ears to hear will hear.

I’ve also learned from Bashar (channeled through Darryl Anka) about the importance of validating self, which releases the need to be validated by others.

Like I mentioned in a recent post, “How Dreams Help Our Soul Evolution,” I have almost 30 posts marinating in my drafts sections that I haven’t published yet. There’s another perfect reason for that—I noticed that as I read certain old drafts at a later time, I gain insight from them, which I was blind to before.

Note: Thank you meganscribbles.blogspot.com for image of clarity on left.

The following are two examples of situations that I gained insight from at a later time/recently (another reason why I love blogging):

There was this one tweet a while back that I received after an exchange of tweets, and this female told me that I was a very dangerous person to talk to because I chose to forgive my uncle who had molested me; I was also accused of being a supporter of child molesters. 

I later realized (as a human being)/remembered (as a soul) that this female (my soul sister/so-called enemy in disguise) was my shadow self demanding to be finally recognized by manifesting in another as a reflection, since my ego self had been suppressing my shadow self in order to be accepted by society as a “good, forgiving person.”

My shadow self also wanted to be acknowledged as me deserving better care from a trusted member of the family, and that justice must be served.

As I recognize, acknowledge and deeply understand my shadow self, I can then communicate as my True Self, “I see you, and I have self-compassion. I also share with you that as we—all aspects of me (shadow self, ego self and True Self)—integrate, we remember a truth that we are One unlimited Spiritual Being, and we are more than this physical body, and there is nothing that we need outside ourselves—to include being fearful, needing justice to be served, and needing acceptance and approval from others—because we are in essence Unconditional Love, Pure Compassion, Peace, Joy, Freedom, Abundance, Creative Power, Truth, Wisdom and Worthy by our mere existence as a spark of the Divine.” My shadow self then feels accepted, healed, and unconditionally loved by me.

Note: Thank you www.juevesfilosofico.com for perfect image on right.

As a child, and throughout my adulthood, I used to wonder why I had “dark” experiences like being molested (which was more awkward for me than traumatic), being abandoned by my biological father as a baby, being bullied at school for being extra small or different, being neglected by my often absent Caucasian father who adopted me, watching torture, sex videos with my drunken mother as a kid, being emotionally, physically and/or sexually abused by certain close relationships who claimed to love me (to include one boyfriend in my early twenties), being raped in the military, etc. I used to think  that I was being punished by God because I was a “bad” soul.

However, now I trust God, Goddess and Divine Spirit/All That Is that whatever the reasons were, it wasn’t about punishment, but rather, for my highest good/soul growth.

Now whether or not I had these “dark” experiences because I had hurt others in the same or similar manner in past lives, and I’m balancing out my karma, and/or I was meant to learn profound life lessons in this last lifetime in order to remember that we are all one, and “what we do to another, we do to ourselves, and what we fail to do for another, we fail to do for ourselves” (a Neale Donald Walsch quote), they served me well nonetheless.

Note: Thank you agildedyarn.wordpress.com for profound quote and image on left.

Perhaps these important lessons include (but are not limited to): a deeper kind of understanding, empathy, pure compassion, unconditional forgiveness, acceptance, embrace, and unconditional love of self and others.

Most of the time, when we forgive others, there’s a moment where one person apologizes for his/her mistake(s), and both parties make peace, and move on. On the other hand, there is the type of forgiveness that’s unspoken but understood with the look of one’s eyes.  

I saw that look in my uncle’s eyes as a teenager, and I believe I forgave him then in my own way, although I was still also struggling to understand the why.  I’ve also seen that look in others’ eyes who had been hurtful in some way, and it felt as though our souls connected.

Another type of this unconditional forgiveness is when another (who has hurt us) has no remorse for the hurt that they caused another, let alone any desire to apologize. And when we closely look into the eyes of the so-called “heartless”…instead of seeing a soulless human being, we can see a human being lost within their own darkness, one who has forgotten their true nature, that they are in essence Love and Light…part of the divine whole.

Note: Thank you mona-moo.deviantart.com for lovable image on left.

Over a year or so before that, I received a comment on my blog that I was a whiner and some other names, and that the male couldn’t believe that he wasted all his time on my blog. 

I later realized (as a human being)/remembered (as a soul) that this male (my soul brother/so-called enemy in disguise) was my shadow self demanding to be finally recognized by manifesting in another as a reflection, since my ego self had been suppressing my shadow self in order to be accepted by society as “a helpless, victimized person who needs attention, support and assistance from society.”

My shadow self wanted to be acknowledged as me having the power to self-empower myself rather than pity myself.

As I recognize, acknowledge and deeply understand my shadow self, I can then communicate as my True Self, “I see you, and I have self-respect. I also share with you that as we—all aspects of me (shadow self, ego self and True Self)— integrate, we remember a truth that we are One unlimited Spiritual Being, and we are more than this physical body, and there is nothing that we need outside ourselves—to include being judgmental, impatient, angry and critical (which all stem from fear)—because we are in essence Patience, Unconditional Love, Pure Compassion, Peace, Joy, Freedom, Abundance, Creative Power, Truth, Wisdom and Worthy by our mere existence as a spark of the Divine.” My shadow self then feels accepted, healed, and unconditionally loved by me.

During both of the above mentioned situations, I allowed others’ opinions of me highly affect my emotions (due to my own lack of self-respect, self-worth and self-love), although I did manage to grow from both experiences.

My soul sister triggered me to write a post called, “A Very Dark Side of Me,” which helped me to release what no longer positively served my soul growth. My soul brother triggered me to start being more cognizant of my thoughts and feelings, and what I was sharing in my blog (i.e., beneficial or not to myself and humanity), and to eliminate “whining” and feeling victimized in order gain more wisdom from my life experiences.

Note: Thank you www.counsellingtutor.com for perfect image on right.

I also came to the conclusion that choosing to forgive my uncle does not make me a supporter of child molesters; but rather, it makes me a compassionate forgiver.

I also came to the conclusion that I’m the type of person who’s not only willing to listen to constructive criticism, but highly appreciates any kind of assistance given with kindness, respect and honesty in order to improve myself and others.

However, I don’t need to accept criticism that just stems from someone else’s low vibrating/dense/negative/fear energies who can’t even offer a solution. Anyone can identify a problem, but it’s those who put forth effort to come up with an effective solution who actually make a difference in our world.

I sometimes see the number sequence 4:55, at perfect moments, which reminds of the following from the website (http://sacredscribesangelnumbers.blogspot.com/p/index-numbers.html):

“Angel Number 455 assures you that you are being supported and guided by the angels through important and necessary life changes.  Trust and follow their guidance and know that these changes are for your highest good.  These changes and the long-term results will lead to the answers to your prayers. It does not matter what other people say … it is how you react and that you choose to believe about yourself that matters.  Do things the way that suit you and find your own niche.”

Note: Thank you www.counsellingtutor.com for vibrant and beautiful image on left.

Anyhoo, right after i caught myself being temporarily negatively affected by my soul brother’s comment that day, I was reminded to just be still for a moment. I then thanked my True Self for the gift/opportunity to grow.

I’m grateful that he ridiculed me about my beliefs, because he was merely reflecting back to me my own doubts that I had about my daily number synchronicities that I frequently experience seeing, and have been experiencing for over two years (to include seeing 333).

I believe, in order to eliminate any degree of doubt (that we may not consciously want to admit), we must first be willing to experience having our beliefs and faith challenged so that they can become convictions. Otherwise, believing and having faith would surely lose its profound meaning.

Note: Thank you vi.sualize.us for reflection of darkness and Light image on right.

And what better way to trigger our doubts (or any other thoughts or feelings that stem from fear) than to show up in another (as your shadow) in order to have the opportunity to release them!

Otherwise, we may continue to be in denial about them (like I was). I believe my willingness to expand my consciousness helped me to recognize my own doubts reflected in another, so that I can own it before releasing it.

Note: Thank you mashable.com for cute image on left.

So, before releasing my doubt about the meaning of my number synchronicities, I chose to identify where it stemmed from to better understand myself and others.

Well, I had come across readings about the Illuminati (as well as how they honor the number 33) and other conspiracy theories before, but I chose not to pay much attention to them since a) it didn’t resonate with me, and 2) what we focus on the most becomes our reality.

The way I see it…if I meant to learn more about the Illuminati, or even cross paths with them (for my soul growth), I will develop an urge to do so.

Note: Thank you playingwiththeuniverse.blogspot.com for helpful quote and creative image on right.

However, I currently have no interest in them, like I have no interest in listening to most of the unprofessional politicians/old farts (who should Be wise men at their age) bicker on a daily basis, and obnoxiously put each other down, rather than work together as One country. Note: For further details about this topic, see post, “Observations of the News and the Use of Humor.”

I’ve worked with preschoolers who are emotionally and spiritually more mature than they are. But I understand that it’s just a show/distraction to keep us occupied with nonsense rather than focus on what really matters (remembering and Being our true selves/part of God, Goddess and Divine Spirit/All That Is).

Although I had been believing for over two years that 33 (one of the most frequently appearing number sequences on a daily basis) is the Master Teacher number, briefly reading some of the “negative” information about the Illuminati conspiracy theories and the “satanic” meaning of number 33 had temporarily planted a tiny seed of doubt in my mind.

Note: Thank you gratitude-rocks.com for the inspiring quote/poster on left.

By giving myself (as my True Self/soul) an opportunity to release any doubts—as a challenge to my own intuition—I now believe, without a shadow of a doubt, that frequently seeing 33, 333 and 3333 equates to meanings that stem from love rather than fear, such as the Master Teacher number, various meanings involving expansion, communication, and the Ascended Masters (from http://sacredscribesangelnumbers.blogspot.com/), as well as codings placed in our heart centers by the Archangeloi of the Elohim.

In regards to various conspiracy theories, I had seen how they consumed a couple of my old, high school friends (via Facebook or phone conversation), as well as others, and  I felt sad for them.

I highly sensed their desperation as they posted back-to-back posters about conspiracy theories on Facebook, wrote back-to-back posts about them on their blogs, or how my friend talked for a long time over the phone trying to convince me of them.

Note: Thank you livsxinneygirl.blogspot.com for helpful quote on right.

I believe that the most important thing we can do for ourselves and the rest of humanity right now is to first change within, rather than rip our hair out and obsess about all the problems, catastrophes, dramas, conspiracy theories, and anything else that stems from fear-based belief systems. Focusing on such “negative” things will only make us miserable; and in the state of misery, we will only attract more of it.

So does that mean that we shut out the rest of the world? No, but it does mean doing and Being our essence (Universal Consciousness and Unconditional Love in the same presence/I AM Presence) to the best of our ability in every Moment of Now, with whatever tools and skills that we currently have available.

I believe when we do the small things to the best of our ability to heal ourselves, our people and our planet—like noticing, acknowledging, caring, helping, sharing, giving, comforting, uplifting, etc. those in our neighborhoods, communities and even through the virtual web—then the seemingly unattainable goals to improve humanity will automatically take care of itself in Divine perfect timing.

Note: Thank you www.andrew-hines.com for helpful quote on left.

So how do we know if we have faith, let alone strong faith (zero doubts)? Does having strong faith mean continuing to believe in life because the majority of our lives were pretty sunny, with very limited experiences of darkness? Does having strong faith mean avoiding to leave our comfort zone?

Or does having strong faith mean facing our deepest fears and overcoming them after allowing them to shake us a bit, try to break us, and even try to take our will to even have faith?

I used to allow much darkness to disempower me most of my life with people’s negative intentions, words, and actions, especially by the ones who were supposed to love me unconditionally (my Earth biological parents).

Although they often reminded me or showed me how worthless they think I am (due to their own inner sufferings), I went through a grueling, long process where I ended up unconditionally forgiving and loving them, as well as having self-compassion and self-forgiveness for myself (for allowing others to continually treat me as unworthy).

Note: Thank you astanduplife.com for perfect image on right.

It’s easy for one to immediately say that one forgives another because it’s the “right” thing to do in society’s and/or God’s eyes, and to even get into a place called heaven.

It’s even easy to forgive others for minor things like someone going off on us (because they have a lot on their mind), someone using us (because we allowed them to), someone judging us (due to their own fears), someone gossiping about us (due to their own lack of self-love), etc.

However, it’s quite a challenge to continually forgive those who are very close to us (i.e., immediate family members), and who claim that they love us, but then habitually hurt us—especially emotionally.

I desired to forgive my biological Earth parents from the depths of my soul, which I failed to do many times before because I had taken the easier routes. And I was able to finally achieve unconditionally forgiving and loving them through a deeper understanding of them (sometimes using my imagination), which helped me to feel more empathy, compassion, forgiveness, acceptance, embrace and unconditional love for them.

Note: Thank you megahdwallpapers.com for beautiful cosmic heart on left.

I came to the conclusion that my Earth parents were wounded souls (from this and past lifetimes) who lived from highly fear-based belief systems. They, too, experienced much darkness—neglect, abuse (emotionally, physically, and/or sexually), abandonment, rejection, hardship, sacrifice, suffering, torture, etc.

As wounded souls, we can choose to be a “Wounded Wounder” or a “Wounded Healer.” Throughout my life, I noticed that many times we choose to hurt others if we’ve been hurt in some way.

We somehow believe that hurting others justifies what we had to suffer through, rather than learning (as a human being)/remembering (as a soul) that at some point we should end the vicious cycle of hurting others.

Note: Thank you www.positivethinking-toolbox.com for inspiring quote on right.

I’ve been fortunate enough to meet a few, amazing souls who had experienced heart-breaking sufferings; but yet, they chose to use the wisdom they had learned/remembered from their deep wounds to help others, and to love others unconditionally. These Beings are beautiful inside and out.

Sometimes we tell others that we forgive them and that “we’re good”; but yet, we use the passive-aggressive communication style to convey that we truly didn’t forgive them (e.g., habitually not returning text messages, phone calls, emails, etc.) , rather than using the assertive method by just Being honest with our feelings. This leads to a vicious cycle of hurting one another in indirect manners.

On the other hand, when we choose to Be a wounded healer…we realize that it doesn’t feel good to be hurt, so we not only choose not to hurt others, but we choose to help others. By doing so, we help one another to heal, and this has an enormous ripple effect.

Note: Thank you empathicperspectives.wordpress.com for inspiring quote on right.

As I learn/remember to fully love myself unconditionally, I choose to release what no longer positively serves my soul growth, to include my strong attachments to certain members of my Earth family who don’t care to respect and love me the way I deserve to be respected and loved.

Until the day comes (that they decide to treat me with respect and love)…I will unconditionally love them (which includes just accepting them as they currently are, since everyone goes through their soul growth at their own pace) from afar.  

From a deeper perspective, I also understand, that when I fully respect and love myself unconditionally, they (and all others) will reflect my inner reality.

By releasing the need to be concerned about others’ opinions and beliefs about us (to include loved ones), and acknowledging that others are merely reflecting our own deep beliefs about ourselves, we empower ourselves, and it feels great! ^_^

Note: Thank you jadesmagic.blogspot.com for colorful image on inspiring quote on left.

And when we feel empowered…we feel free. After all, there’s way too many opinions out there, and if we tried to please them all, we would drive ourselves crazy! Let’s do ourselves a favor and Be the free Beings that we came here to be.

I learned from Neale Donald Walsch and other spiritual teachers that Freedom is our essence, along with Joy, Peace, Truth (our truth), Wisdom, Abundance, Creative Power, and Unconditional Love. I also learned from Neale that others, and life experiences, also help us to define who we don’t wish to Be.

By experiencing not feeling fully worthy 40 years of my life, I am now ready to fully experience Being worthy for the rest of my life. I’m very grateful for this experience because it allows me to deeply relate to and have compassion for those who have also experienced feeling unworthy, which helps me to help them if needed.

Note: Thank you memoirsofasoulsista.wordpress.com for wonderful quote on right.

I’ve had several other experiences recently (that I’ll share in other posts) that some may label as “negative,” but every one of these disguised blessings taught me valuable life lessons which I trust helped me with my soul growth. I’m really loving this power of positive perspective and outlook…choosing to see through the eyes of Universal Love.

I noticed that when I have an experience with others now, I see them as an aspect of my Expanded Self in this particular universe, to include my shadow self.

However, until I master Being my authentic, True Self, I ask my True Self to help me, and to remind me to treat others as I would like to be treated.

On the other hand, if others don’t treat me with the respect and kindness that I, too, deserve, then I choose to no longer place myself in such situations.

The more I choose to Be Balance of unconditionally loving myself and others, the happier I am. ^_^

Note: Thank you www.mindingthebedside.com for perfect image on right.

The following are some readings and videos that have been helpful (click on title below to view in another window):

• The New Myth and The Shadow (The italicized paragraphs right below are from this blog)

The Wisdom of the Shadow

The most important and practical way we can begin integrating polarities is through “Shadow” work. 

• A Reason and Purpose for Ascension
• Ascension Signs and Symptoms of Spiritual Awakening and Expanded Consciousness
• Bashar – 2013 2015 year span – Why Staying on the Highest Frequency Path is Important
• Bashar – Having Dreams About Aliens ( Live In Your Dreams ): I’ve listened to this video 3 times so far, and I’m going to continue listening to it daily until it becomes a conviction. This video is also about validating oneself which releases the need to be validated by others; self-empowerment! ^_^

The following videos and readings give us a positive spin on our experiences of darkness:

• Bashar The rubber band analogy 
• Embrace Your Dark Side
• Transforming the Female Wounded Warrior to the Divine Goddess´¯`·.¸.ღƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
• http://www.reconnections.net/bridge_people.htm (reading)