A few weeks ago or so, I shared a text message with a young, female, team member , who can be very gentle, kind, and other wonderful qualities, but is having a challenging time dealing with so-called negative people around her (specifically the main team member she works with most of the time).
I have no doubt that her outer world is mirroring her inner world—the way it is for all of interconnected Life—and she was experiencing the shadow/unknown, negative energies within her (that resurfaced to be healed and integrated) that she has repressed since childhood and suppressed throughout her five years of adulthood (especially her judgmental aspect), despite her claims of being very spiritual, positive, and vegan.
Note: Image on right found next to link => Shutterstock
She has a tendency to be very defensive, saying things with an attitude like, “Are you trying to say that I’m not doing anything?” whenever I ask her to help out every now and then whenever we work together.
I recently told her, “I have a few things I need to do, to include inputting a membership package, so could you call one of these three people back?”
A couple of times, I felt like being blunt and saying something like, “Here’s a crazy-ass idea. Why don’t you get off your habitually non-initiative taking, lazy ass and be a team player for once,” since she mostly sits on a chair, which causes others to get the keys multiple times for members and guests.
Side Note: I’ve learned to embrace and integrate into whole self the aspect called lazy; but there’s a time and a place for it that can benefit us/others, especially when it gives us the opportunity to stop DOING DOING DOING like an energizer bunny on crack, and take a break to relax and recover, or even enjoy simply Being rather than doing anything.
However COMMA when laziness becomes habitual, misused, and/or abused—especially at a work place that needs teamwork—it can negatively affect others/self, which is not beneficial or loving.
For instance, this coworker habitually being late, or not taking initiative, has caused several coworkers stress since there was little teamwork in the workload.
When I brought this up to her one day—in the most tactful and loving way possible—she glared at me and stated, “You don’t know me,” and continued that she doesn’t like it when others question her work ethic.
I thought I could talk to her about any topic, but I was wrong; and that would be the last time I ever tried to reason with her.
I just let it go, and she apologized about a week later—as things starting going downhill in her life (to include her roommates doing a 180 on her)—for being short with me when I was only trying to help her and the rest of the coworkers (to include myself).
One day (recently), I asked her if she could stock some towels this time—since we’re also required to help out with the Spa Attendant duties whenever they’re off—and she glared at me and said, “I already stocked some towels earlier.”
So my tone of voice went from gentle kind to assertive/borderline aggressive, and I sternly said, “Well, I just unloaded several lockers, cleaned them, reloaded them with robes and slippers, loaded the washer with dirty slippers, picked up a bunch of dirty towels from the baskets and off the floors, and then folded dozens of towels; so could you help out?” She appeared guilty, and gently replied that she would.
In addition, she sometimes goes on the internet to search for personal interests, checks out her social media, or uses her cell phone during the duty day.
Once, while I was explaining something to her that was work related, she was reading a text message, and then replying. I asked, “Are you even listening?” to which she nodded with a bored expression on her face.
What’s ironic is that she complained about an older woman coworker who supposedly makes her do all the work, but, yet, she’s like a younger version of her now (which I will tell her soon, along with some other truths that she’s not going to want to hear, if she continues to spiral down when it comes to teamwork).
I’ve also witnessed her habitually blame other things or people for her own mistakes—for being late to work dozens of times within a month, or placing the blame on whoever’s not on shift that day—which made it difficult to trust her.
So even though she sporadically talks about various themes within Spirituality, to include how certain others are so unaware, I didn’t feel as though she was ready to hear about shadow work.
Once, she vented, “Uh! Negative people,” while rolling her eyes; but from my personal experience, she’s the most negative person to work with though she seemed so nice when I first met her.
Looking back, I intuitively sensed something was off when we first started working together. She had asked me if I could come listen to her first open-mic poetry performance in Flagstaff.
Since I know what it feels like to do open-mic—poetry, and even comedy, which isn’t easy—I asked my husband if he’d like to join me that night to support her (though I had to work the next day).
When the event started, she was nowhere to be found, so I called her, and she was running late. She was late to both days of orientation for our new jobs, so I started wondering, even then, if it was a habit of hers.
I informed a young female (the MC) that my coworker was on her way, but she said it was too late, and that everyone else all showed up early to be briefed on the rules.
I told a white lie and stated that she was going through a lot, and if they could just give her chance, it would be greatly appreciated; she ended up agreeing.
When my coworker arrived, I bought her a cup of hot tea to get her relaxed before her turn, and she thanked me. She then introduced me to one of her female roommates (a woman who appeared to be in her thirties), and I smiled and said hi to her, and she just stood there and glared at me (which was a bit awkward, but I let it go).
While waiting her turn, my coworker hung out with her other female roommate, whom she talked bad about earlier that day. My coworker is in her early twenties, so such shift was understandable.
So after cheering for her during her performance, my husband and I went home. A week or so later, she asked me again if I would like to come to open-mic poetry and hang out with her, and I politely declined since we didn’t really hang out the first time.
At work, when she saw that I had created a notebook—with all the notes I had taken during work, and then organized and rewrote on my days off—she wanted to borrow them (since I had offered before for her to check out and get ideas).
I told her that I would leave it at work, but since a team member’s card had briefly disappeared for days—that I had made for him for his farewell to Japan, and had coworkers sign it—I didn’t want to take the chance of it missing since I had put in a lot of my efforts into it; she understood.
She suggested twice that I drive down to Sedona on one of my days off to meet her, though I already told her that my husband and I have to drive down to Sedona at least five days a week for work, so my days off are a break from the two hour drive both ways.
She lives in Sedona, a few minutes from our work, she loves hanging out at Flagstaff, and she even has a male friend there—whom she described as ugly a couple of times, to which I replied that wasn’t nice since there are various forms of attractiveness—so it made sense that she come to Flagstaff if she wanted to meet.
I ended up telling her that due to our schedules being the opposite at the time, with different days off, that it wasn’t a good idea to meet up; I also knew I had to have strong boundaries with her. Now, I no longer have a desire to become friends (just remain coworkers).
A few weeks after the open-mic event, she informed me that she was suddenly moving since both her roommates were being unreasonable, and one was a psycho (the woman who glared at me at open-mic).
She then apologized for having come off short to me during that timeframe, especially when I was trying to help her out.
Ever since we started working at our new job, she insisted on making all these changes, and I suggested that it’s probably a good idea to first check with our Supervisor, Manager, and/or Director.
Once, she took six, colorful clay pottery bowls—that were displayed on a table to be sold—placed sugar packets in them, and put them in the refrigerator. I told her that probably wasn’t a good idea, but she rolled her eyes, sighed, and then said that it wasn’t a big deal.
Sure enough, our Supervisor was very irritated that she did that (and understandably so), and she ordered my coworker to put them all back (since they didn’t belong there), and then blasted an email to everyone of what NOT to do with retail items.
That phase of her life was challenging for her since she was even at the verge of getting fired—due to being late again and again, and then blaming her psychotic roommate the last time—but our supervisor, manager, and Director gave her another chance.
I had suggested to her what worked for me back in the day, which was to buy an alarm clock or two, and place them at the corners of the room, which forces one to physically get up and turn them off, as opposed to pressing the snooze button and falling back asleep; she ignored that suggestion until she was late a couple more times.
At one point, while she was glaring into space, she calmly stated, “She [the psychotic roommate] ruined my career,” so I had to tell her something she probably didn’t want to hear.
I said something to the effect, “But she didn’t cause you to be late all the other times, true?” She admitted, but didn’t look happy about it.
Since my own outer world mirrors my inner world, I trust that she has showed up in my life to remind myself of the tendencies of my individual ego self/Collective Ego, and to also be discerning, and maintain healthy boundaries in any relationship.
Like a husky—who’s one of my main animal spirit guides (I also had a Siberian husky pet named Kami who passed away)—I’ve had a tendency to get really excited when I initially meet people who seem really nice at first, and immediately trust them; however, often times, I’ve experienced their darker shades of colors surface within a short period of time, and the trust fades away.
I realize that huskies are also known to be very tuned into their instincts, their intuition, so it’s my intention to further integrate that aspect into whole self.
Some examples posts of Kami:
- “Running with Bears and Dogs in Dream State“
- “Adventures with Cetaceans in Dream State“
- “The Path of the Gentle Cow and Aggressive Tiger“
The following is part of a text message that I sent her:
Since you shared an inspirational poster yesterday, just wanted to share as well.🙂 [Side Note: Since she sent the inspirational poster to myself and a young, male coworker—who seems like a gentle, old soul, and is very intelligent, professional, honest, and kind (but more left-brain centered/logical)—-I replied to the text message below to both of them]
I received an insight reminder from within today, that all the spiritual teachings of this world—to include but not limited to self-awareness, expansion of our individual and collective consciousness, pure compassion, deep empathy, non-judgment, etc.—are merely shiny concepts UNLESS we do our best to apply them to our daily lives (i.e., the way Ascended Masters Jesus, Mary, Buddha, Gandhi, etc. walked the talk).
Because it’s way too easy to only like the likable, and love the lovable. The true test is to shift our perspective—in so-called negative situations—and truly SEE the bigger picture, the way a flying hawk can see above the so-called dark valley; and only then can we Be the Light onto so-called darkness, and Be Unconditional True Love to fear-based energies (within us and outside of ourselves).
This experiential knowledge IS profound wisdom.
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