While updating my “A Message to My Soul/Inner-Child” category page within this blog, and just typing away, I initially shared the company name of where I worked back in 1991-1992.
I thought it was interesting that I had an urge to do so (which I trust is following Heart’s inner-guidance), because I don’t recall ever sharing this piece of information (or this overall story) in writing before, or ever feeling the desire to tell it.
However, ever since I noticed patterns of experiencing series of Divine synchronicity often, I grew to trust the process of simply following Spirit’s Heart guidance, and then simply noticing the signs and symbols from my:
- inner reality: insights, flashbacks, visions, ideas, dream state/symbolic dreams or dreams of parallel realities where I can learn life lessons and gain wisdom and…
- outer reality: especially number synchronicity (e.g., 11:11, 12:12, #s that end with 11-99, sets of 111-999, sets of 2222-9999, 7:11, 8:11, 9:11, 1234, palindrome #s such as 12:21, 808, etc.)/aka sacred number codes or angel numbers messages that I would look up the meanings of whenever I felt like it; I often use the website ANGEL NUMBERS – Joanne Sacred Scribes (click on link above to open website in another window) and only extract what most highly resonates with me using discernment since us, humans, can sometimes fog up Divine messages with our own biased filters
After I typed, ______ Inc. (I chose to exclude it after I found out what happened), which was related to a story that I was sharing, I had another urge to look up the company’s name since it’s been about 25 years.
As soon as I typed the name, I noticed a link at the very top of the page titled, __________ (company name), Inc. – California Explore, which I got excited about because I wanted to see how they were doing, and how they had successfully expanded their very tiny, family business at the time.
I was also interested in finding out why they decided to add the additional title to their company name, California Explore.
When I noticed that its status was “SOS/FTB Suspended,” I had to look up the meaning. The following is a brief answer that I found under the link, “People also ask”:
FTB Suspended or FTB Forfeited: The business entity was suspended or forfeited by the Franchise Tax Board for failure to meet tax requirements (e.g., failure to file a return, pay taxes, penalties, interest).
Personally, I trust that the leadership (as well as workers fully aware of the corruption <= key phrase) of the IRS, among many other organizations and major corporations (all controlled by the corrupt within the wealthy)—government, CIA, FBI, military, big banks, major media, pharmaceutical companies (making billions in profit), the so-called “justice” system etc.—are heavily CORRUPT, and they will ALL have their day (in Divine perfect timing and order as stated in ancient prophecies) as Divine Spirit (Prime Creator/The Return of Ancient Mother Goddess) chooses to put an end to or destroy ALL that no longer serves (or highly benefits) the interconnected whole.
ANYway…right after finding out what had happened to this company, I instantly had a flashback to that one day in 1991 or 1992 that I’m able to recall as though it had happened yesterday.
At the tiny, family company’s morning meeting, I was taking minutes as usual when the president of the company, Ron (father of my direct boss), said something about certain work needing to get done (I think manual labor).
To my shock, my young, Caucasian, manager Bryan said with a serious facial expression and unloving tone, something to the effect of, “We’ll just get some Mexicans to do it.”
Now I’ve crossed paths with some unloving Mexicans throughout life, but I’ve also crossed paths with some very loving Mexicans, and everyone in-between, which applies to every other non-Mexican being that I’ve ever crossed paths with.
So regardless of what one’s earthly background is—race, ethnicity, color, culture, gender, sexual preference, educational (or none), financial, social, status, position, title, etc.—there are plethora of varying, vibrational frequencies that each being has (ranging from extremely hateful, to angelically/unconditionally loving, though most humans are somewhere in-between).
In addition, when people like Trump talk about building more walls and other BS that often explodes from his mouth without much or any discernment and tact, I want to ask, “So what about all the white folks who came to America (to include from Canada) throughout the U.S. history? So are they good to go?”
What people like numb-nuts don’t care to consider is that there aren’t a whole lot of American people who are willing to do the “dirty work”/harsh manual labor—to include farming, dish-washing, and busing tables at restaurants (just to name a few)—while getting paid way below minimum wage.
Note: Image on right found next to link => www.buzzfeed.com and added personal quote using canva.com
So when you don’t even respect (let alone deeply appreciate and honor) those who are willing to do such unpopular jobs at such low-pay (for themselves, their families, and ultimately for humanity), what do you think will eventually happen to this country when you start getting rid of them, and/or even prevent like-others from coming into the U.S.?
Note: Image on left found next to link www.theguardian.com (“Hispanic leaders call for Republican candidates to condemn Donald Trump | US news | The Guardian”) and added personal quote using canva.com
Side Note: It is my intention (if it’s part of Spirit’s Divine Plan) to one miraculous and magical day be wealthy and/or powerful enough on this planet where I (and others who are willing to join me) can show the uncaring and/or corrupt world leaders how taking care of humanity, Mother Earth, merging worlds, and beyond is truly done—to include providing souls with their Divine birthrights such as the basics of good pay for work, clean and safe living areas, good quality drinking water and foods, holistic healthcare (as well as urgent care), integrated Mind/Heart education based on truths and wisdom, and other benefits for all those who definitely deserve it.
Though I may not be considered successful in the eyes of earthly society, I fully trust I AM, and that the financial and/or material world aspects of success will show up in Divine perfect timing and order if it’s in the cards to most highly benefit the interconnected whole.
If not, I will continue to simply do and Be to the best of my ability—even being deeply understanding and compassionate to self during natural, low energy moments—since I AM abundance, prosperity and wealth (and much more) on all levels of my being, despite temporary, outer appearances.
ANYway, back to the story regarding my manager’s insensitive comment about hiring Mexicans to do the so-called dirty work; it wasn’t so much what he said, but how he said it.
I was shocked to hear him say something like that at the time because he (my manager) was so nice to me and others (along with his other super cool and wonderful qualities).
He was the first and last manager to ever give me a congratulations card, in addition to a raise; though the raise was only 25 cents, it didn’t matter, because I deeply appreciated his very thoughtful gesture.
I was shocked because I hadn’t perceived him as a racist and/or someone with superiority complex. However, I understand that he more than likely learned this narrow-minded, mentality from his parents, though he could have also picked it up from extended family members, friends, school, and/or from society in general.
I had strongly sensed back then that both of his very traditional parents were that way, even though they often smiled to my face with those very quick, insincere, half smiles.
Though it often didn’t feel good to be in their presence—due to their low, vibrational frequencies stemming from a lot of conditioned, rigid beliefs—I did my best to do a great job and just be my best self while working there.
Looking back, I wondered if, perhaps, the entire family (especially the parents) didn’t change their rigid ways of perceiving certain types of people—who they seemed to deem unworthy of respect and admiration.
If so, I’m no longer surprised that the company didn’t last, because anything built on a weak, fear-based foundation (without much or any Heart-loving energies to support it) doesn’t last long, no matter how hard the logical mind and physical body works.
Examples: Back in the day, once powerful, yet, very aggressive empires throughout this world eventually came crumbling down due to the severe lack or complete absence of the Divine Feminine Goddess energies to balance themselves out.
I trust that the ultimate success in Life—to include business success—stems from Being our full-potential self. So how do we get to this amazing state?
Regardless of one’s gender, I trust that our male energy within (that has a tendency to be very judgmental, lower mind due to unhealed mental energy body directly connected with physical energy body) and female energy within (not fully opened, lower heart/unhealed emotional energy body directly connected with spiritual energy body) must be deeply healed, integrated, and balanced first and foremost.
Though this may appear to the physical mind as transformation, I trust that it’s actually the tuning into the already existing version of Higher Self (that is already healed, integrated, and balanced male and female energies within), like changing the channel of a TV show or radio station (see examples a little further below).
This Higher Self is Higher Mind/Heart (that’s non-judgmental and fully opened and ready to further expand), Divine Masculine/Divine Feminine, God/Goddess, Yang/Yin, Sun/Moon, merged Twin Soul or Twin Flame (healed, integrated, and balanced male and female energies within one soul) working with Holy Spirit (Ancient Divine Mother Goddess) as a Team of One/Trinity/Beloved I (God) AM (Goddess) Presence/Christ within.
Made-up examples of vibrational frequencies of humans and the analogy of TV channels (the specific #s aren’t meant to be taken literally, but as a guidance tool; however, the higher the #, the higher one’s vibrational frequency): Channel 1 is one’s super hateful self, channel 4 is one’s violent self, channel 7 is one’s angry self, channel 14 is one’s judgmental self, channel 20 is polite self, channel 37 is thoughtful and generous self, channel 55 is one’s deeply empathetic and compassionate self, and channel 66 is unconditionally accepting/loving ALL of Life throughout this Universe and beyond (regardless of polarities of good vs bad, right vs wrong, up vs down, etc.) pure soul/pure Spirit Self
Since past, present, and future exist simultaneously in the present Moment of Now due to space and time not being limitations in realities/dimensions/worlds/realms outside of physical, 3rd dimension—again, like having one too many TV channels to tune into from one space and time-frame (i.e., in living room on a beautiful Saturday afternoon because one has no life)—we can choose to raise (and even maintain) a high, vibrational frequency at will, though it takes a lot of will power, discipline, and basically, an open mind and BIG Heart.
The leadership of a company that is not able to see with clarity the worthiness of all souls despite their earthly labels, like this one, stems from fear-based beliefs that were more than likely conditioned into them from past, ignorant, closed-minded and/or closed-hearted generations.
However, despite this family members’ so-called flaw, I trust that they were (and continue to be) overall good people. And I appreciated them for their qualities that stemmed from love energy.
After working there for a while, they eventually allowed me to take one of my required, college classes (that was only available at certain times at UCR) during the work day, as long as I made up the missed hours at other times.
I was informed that the reason they even allowed such flexibility (which they had never done before) was because of their observation of me.
While working there, they noticed that I took the initiative to go above and beyond, to include doing things that they didn’t require me to do.
Besides the workload that I was supposed to do on a daily basis, during non-busy hours, I also did extra things like transforming their very old and rust-stained bathroom sink into a shiny, white and new-looking sink after much gently scraping, scrubbing and cleaning.
I ended up leaving that company sometime in 1992 thanks to Spirit within guiding me to Virginia with my girlfriend for a new adventure in Life.
And before I left, I witnessed Ron (my manager Brian’s father) genuinely smile I think for the first time, and he jokingly said to me, something to the effect, “You can’t leave us! California is where all the beautiful girls are at!”
I appreciated and admired his sense of humor; and I thought he looked somewhat lovable at times because his face reminded me of the cartoon Mr. Magoo.
In addition, despite his seemingly, very traditional ways, I respected and admired the way he respectfully, gently, and lovingly treated his wife Jeannie (if I recall her name correctly).
I also took away from that place the few, good memories of Jeannie’s soft-spoken nature, who seemed like a very gentle soul at times, merely caught up in a man’s very busy, logical (heavily left-brain centered) world.
Once, she taught me something regarding checks, and though I don’t recall the details (not important), I do recall how I felt as she was patiently showing me how to do something; and I was very grateful for at least her patience, even though she didn’t seem to enjoy the teaching moment.
The experience of opposites—the seemingly separate duality which is more like merging polarity—truly helps one’s soul growth, because had it not been the moment where Ron had brought me to tears one day (details at bottom of post under subtitle, “The Additional Story“), I may not have deeply appreciated Jeannie’s patience.
Anyway, I trust that Jeannie could use some of the very powerful, assertive, female warrior aspect (aka Amazon aspect) of the Divine Feminine Goddess energy/consciousness (if she hasn’t already).
By embracing all aspects of the Goddess within (and not just the warrior spirit), I have no doubt that she, as a Matriarch/Queen of the family (right beside her “King” husband), will be a very strong, female role model to ALL females who cross her paths (and not just to her loved ones).
I trust that Brian has spiritually evolved since then (and hopefully his parents as well), and with all his wonderful qualities that I still recall—kind, thoughtful, smart, handsome (not like typical male models, but his own rugged and classy way) humorous, professional, ambitious, determined, organized, a gentleman (my observations of how he treated his free-spirited, very friendly, lovable, pretty, blond girlfriend, I think Donna, at the time), and I have no doubt much more—I’m confident that he will bounce back and excel at whatever his soul chooses to do and simply Be as he follows Spirit’s Heart guidance from within (if he hasn’t already).
I trust that every stepping stone in life (whether pebble, boulder size, or everything in-between) is a stepping stone of success, despite temporary, outer appearances.
Cosmically/highly intelligent Spirit makes no mistakes, and everything that shows up in our lives is meant to highly benefit not just self, but the interconnected whole—as either obvious blessings, or blessings in disguise, that can both gift us (when we’re paying close attention) with invaluable and profound wisdom.
All we have to do is be open (mind and heart) and willing to truly sense Spirit’s Heart guidance from within, truly believe, have faith, or even more effective…fully trust because we intuitively know (as Soul/Spirit within) what’s true.
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The Additional Story
Although I now consider self as an ultra-sensitive empath, which I’ve learned (as a human)/remembered (as soul/Spirit within) that it’s a very powerful strength (when used wisely) rather than a weakness (that society often labels it as), crying at work just didn’t happen (and I had been working summer hire jobs on Army posts and installations doing various types of jobs since ninth grade prior to that moment).
However, when I wasn’t able to perform the multi-switch phone as fast as Ron wanted me to at the time—and he kept yelling at me and making me do it over and over again as though it was some interrogation session—I ended up breaking down.
I was already feeling very vulnerable during that time-frame due to having recently found out from my adoptive dad some bad news.
He had arrived to the States with his new, third wife and daughter to visit his second son from his first marriage, his wife, and I after being MIA for a while (we were unable to contact him).
My dad informed me without a look or tone of regret that he had used all of my saved-up “college fund” on his marriage to his third wife.
He then told me that I was going to watch my little, five-year old sister—his very late baby with his 25 year younger mistress while married to my mom—while he vacationed in Cancun for a week with his new wife, my step-brother, and his wife.
I’m sure that there was a combination of thoughts, emotions and feelings stirred up within me at the time—to include:
- shock: that he lied to me, yet, again, though in a BIG way this time
- betrayal: my dad had promised me in elementary school that he would pay for my college as long as I got mostly A’s and B’s throughout school; in addition, I still had bitter feelings towards him for having threatened my mother—while I was attending a Science Fair on mainland Japan during my senior year—to sign the divorce papers that he knew she couldn’t read, or he would pull me out of school (the Department of Defense Dependents Schools/DoDDS in Pusan, Korea) so that I wouldn’t be able to graduate. She reluctantly signed it, but her and I later found out that he had set up the paperwork stating that she agreed to only receive alimony (and no child support) for only five years (which she didn’t), though she was entitled to half his retirement pay and then some. So when he was bragging about vacationing to Cancun, and treating a total of four people for a week, I realized that he didn’t desperately threaten my mother because he possibly had financial problems, but because he wanted the extra money for him and his new family. Though he lived the great new life starting 1991—to include getting a very high-paid job as a contractor in Korea, living a rich lifestyle, partying late nights/mornings again while my step-mom waited at home the way my mother used to while he was having an affair with her—from around 2001 through right before his death in 2011 (the same decade I was in the Army), his whole world turned upside down, and he lost practically everything he had worked so hard for, returned to the States with only two suitcases, went bankrupt, and even experienced a lot of heavy drama afterwards, to include putting a gun to his third wife’s head (which blew my mind because I had never known him to own a gun), which my step-brother had to put a stop to (shared within certain posts, though the titles escape me at this moment; will add links when I recall whenever). Whether it was these situations, or many others from various people, my faith in a very powerful force grew and grew as I became a witness to justice eventually being served on a huge platter; though now, I trust that it’s not Spirit punishing souls (the way the bible believes that god does), but rather, allowing karma to makes its way around so that souls can hopefully learn from the unloving energies that we happen to dish out, and spiritually grow and evolve from them.
- anger: that I had wasted so much time, especially in high school, busting my ass, taking up to honors classes, extra science classes (2 per year while others took 1 per year), and all kinds of extracurricular activities while also taking Vivarin pills at night just to stay awake and do a crap-load of homework in the midst of a very unsupportive and unhealthy environment (i.e., alcoholic, abusive mother) just so that I can attend college
- hopelessness: that I would have to withdraw from UCR that I was looking forward to attend as a biology major
- confusion: what my future was going to be like without a college education and any form of family support, to include unconditional love (which I only understood as simply “love” at the time)
- sadness: missing my mom and relatives in Korea, and more.
In addition, during that week, for the first time ever at 18 years old, I talked back to my dad (something I had never done to either one of my parents).
Throughout my childhood, he sometimes asked me in a very annoyed tone while I was crying, “Bobbie, what the hell are you cryin’ about now?!” in his MA accent.
However, that day would be the last time that he would ever say that to me again, because I shouted at him (something else I never did to my parents), “It’s because I’m human!!!”
I believe I snapped after having to put up with so much BS throughout my then only 18 years of life—to include my mom having very little tolerance for me crying throughout childhood though she was frequently verbally, emotionally and physically abusive.
About four or five years later, my step-mom (his third wife) shared a heart-felt story with me that apparently occurred during this challenging time-frame.
She said that in my absence, my step-brother made some annoyed comment about me being too emotional, and my dad shouted, “If she was your real sister, you wouldn’t say sh!t like that!”
My step-mom then continued that she was shocked that my dad shouted at his favorite son in that way, something she had never witnessed or even heard of before.
She then told me in a gentle and sincere manner something to the effect, “Bobbie, you may not believe this because your dad has lied a lot to you and your mother, and has hurt a lot of loved ones, but deep inside, he’s a good man, and I trust that he does his best. I have no doubt that he loves you very much; and it doesn’t matter if you’re not his blood daughter.”
I agreed with her about my dad being a good man deep down (as shared in post links within “About” category page), and I deeply appreciated her sharing that important story with me; I trust that it helped heal the suppressed wound that stemmed from the experience recorded in post, “Heartbreak.”
Though I wan’t afraid of confrontations, I never confronted my step-brother about talking about me like that behind my back; instead, I unconditionally forgave him.
I trust that my handful of fun memories with him (while he sporadically lived with us during my childhood), as well as a very special experience recorded in the post, “A Big Brother’s Gift,” highly contributed to that choice.
In addition, my step-mother told me after my dad’s death of a heart attack in 2011, that he more than likely lied to all five of his children about existing college funds or other forms of money due to his strong pride, and I deeply understood and continued forgiving him.
Looking back, I’m very grateful to SPirit within that things worked out the way they did—to include not having completed a four-year college degree (explained within certain post links on “About” category page) along with everything else in my life.
I would not be who I am today had I taken the road most traveled.
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