Throughout my life journey so far, I’ve learned about various human beliefs, some of which I ended up believing myself, and others I ended up questioning, and even releasing (because they don’t belong to me)—which is mind and heart opening/Consciousness expanding, liberating, empowering, and inspiring.
One of the most famous beliefs within humanity—passed on by rigid religions like the Catholic church—is that money is the root to all evil.
Ironically, the Catholic church is wealthy, and many other religions and limiting belief systems are rich to wealthy themselves as well.
In addition, many earthly religions have committed seemingly countless “evil” acts throughout human history.
So which is the actual root (and route) to all evil?
Perhaps evil ways of being stems from souls being lost within the pitch darkness of the earth path valley (their own unawakened state of consciousness), because they have forgotten that they are both light and dark, and want to destroy their other half (the opposite side of the same coin).
Anyhoo, I threw out this false, fear-based belief about money being bad or evil because it’s simply riDONKulous, and a MEGA LOAD of doo doo.
I’ve learned—from highly evolved, profoundly wise souls (like Alan Watts, Bashar channeled via Darryl Anka, Abraham channeled via Ester Hicks, Teal Swan, Sadhguru, etc.) –that money is merely a neutral tool.
Like a hammer (that’s also a neutral tool), it can be misused or abused (e.g., hitting someone over the head), or it can be used to highly benefit self and interconnected Life (e.g., to create a beautiful and practical dining room table for a loving family).
I then picked up another human belief (that I’m releasing) that one needs to Be Prosperity Consciousness in order to attract abundance to oneself (part of the well-known Law of Attraction teachings), which can be true to a certain degree.
However COMMA, the owners and the GM of this company have shown (on multiple occasions) that they’re very much about HARD WORK, to include working up to 15 hours per days with little to no days off at times, not hiring much needed staff during busy season, initially not wanting to give customers a 10% discount for fear of losing profit in the long run, etc. (all part of poverty consciousness).
But yet, they have several, successful businesses within Sedona.
I also picked up, yet, another human belief (that I’m releasing) that one’s throat chakra has to be cleared in order to tune into various forms of abundance, to include monetary abundance.
And this could be true to a certain degree, but I’ve recently learned from personal experience (i.e., experiential knowledge/true wisdom), that this isn’t necessarily true.
For instance, I’ve observed three coworkers—who don’t exactly represent someone who has cleared and balanced their throat chakras (having integrity and being honest)—but yet, they often make high sales.
They habitually complain about various subjects, manipulate, lie, gossip, gaslight, show up 15 minutes late to work (but yet record the shift’s start time on the timesheet), and often whine about different body aches (while continuing to eat a lot of junk food; which they’re aware of the negative effects).
I’ve even witnessed something that one of my coworkers, (B_ _ _y), does with customers, that I initially judged as wrong, but I realized that she continues to get away with it, so it’s meant to happen (perhaps a blessing in disguise for all souls involved).
She’s very buddy-buddy with customers, but as soon as they decide that they don’t want to purchase something, she immediately does a 180—becoming noticeably distant, snappy, and/or even walking off on them, saying things like, “It’s your loss.”
I’ve also noticed a pattern of her being very friendly to customers; but as soon as she rings them up, she’ pretty much done with them, even abruptly cutting them off in the middle of their personal story (that I could tell they really wanted to share) and telling them bye (even when there are no other customers in line).
I wondered how those customers felt, and if it would be similar to going on a date that seemed to be going so well, but at the end, the guy (or gal) does a 180 (to include not ever contacting again).
If I was one of those customers who experienced this insincere interaction, I would have no desire to return to the boutique to shop there.
However, despite her (and the other two) habitually being this and other similar ways, they continue to attract a lot of sales.
One day, while pointing to the sales history page, B___y asked me (while acting like she didn’t know), “Who made this high sale?” (this isn’t the first time she’s played innocent).
I replied, “B___y, you know you did,” and she smirked as usual. She then showed me a text message that our Sales Director texted her, saying she’s amazing due to her high sales.
Since then, even when our Sales Director told me that I’m amazing, it didn’t mean much, since her non-discerning use of the word amazing seemed to have diminished its actual, profound meaning.
Because, regardless of how much high sales one makes, I wouldn’t consider someone amazing if they habitually treated others in an unloving way.
I’ve also witnessed our Sales Director behave the same way towards customers at times, but yet, she also makes high sales.
It’s no wonder why a lot of customers have a negative attitude toward sales associates, often saying things like, “I’M FINE” or “I’m JUST looking” right after greeting them.
So I realized, that the company that I work for is about sales first and foremost—regardless of character, integrity, honesty, other beneficial skills, abilities, and talents—and that’s completely understandable since it is a business.
The important question is, “Do I still desire to be a part of this type of company, who places high-sales employees on a pedestal, though they habitually lack integrity, honesty, and loving intentions, behaviors, expressions (verbal and non-verbal), and actions?
Recently, a coworker who’s dedicated so much of her sunshine self to this company (for over 3 years), left after giving a two, weeks notice.
Since she’s not the type of person to complain (at least not outwardly), she didn’t share why she was leaving, but smiled and mentioned that it’s just time for her to leave due to her spiritual evolution.
I had no doubt that she was mirroring to me the aspects of self who feels the same way.
I didn’t ask her why because I didn’t want to put her on the spot and make her uncomfortable; but I did wonder what other reasons caused her to leave.
My observations of her nonverbal cues (to include micro-expressions and tone of voice)—as well as her verbal comments masked with a smile and humor—have revealed much.
She, too, didn’t seem to resonate with the three coworkers that I mentioned above, to include the new one, W_ _ _y, who’s like a perfect match with B_ __y (they’re buddies, soon to be roommates, and it’s no surprise).
On her last day, she made a comment with a smile stating that we’ll be fine since we have a great, new team.
But her eyes told a different story, that she knew was true deep down; and that is, this new team—that seems so shiny on the outside due to high sales—is not the kind that she wanted to be a part of, and understandably so.
I also wondered if any of the leadership took advantage of her willingness to be so flexible throughout the years.
While checking out my schedules, my husband shared that he noticed a pattern of D_ _ _ _ _ e being scheduled to close (night shift) and then open the next day (morning shift).
Once, D shared that she worked for 8 days straight, and it was exhausting; but it was needed.
However, I now realize that if a business truly cares about their employees, they would put more efforts towards hiring more people when needed, rather than over-working their employees.
One of the coworkers who was fired about a month or so ago made a great point (she often said out loud thoughts that I wondered about, basically confirming them).
She said something to the effect that the owners only care about making more money by buying more stores (total 6), while not putting forth much effort to maintain the stores they already have.
And she added that they over-work their employees and don’t truly care for them.
Interestingly, a total of two employees—to include a tall, older woman who’s been with the company for a long time—have mentioned that the owners make A LOT of money just from one type of many products that they sell (e.g., 90 + cent bracelets from China that get sold from $19.95 and higher).
I feel that everyone’s perceptions and perspectives are valid, though they may not always be completely accurate. Who knows what the whole truth is?
I shared my own valid, perceptions and perspectives with the female owner of the company recently.
It was via a longass, email letter (at bottom of this post under subtitle, “A Sincere Letter For You“); and though her apology reply initially seemed sincere, she basically did a 180 when we actually met for a brief meeting that she had set up.
She had our female GM present, who had a pleasant and supportive presence, unlike the female owner who seemed antagonistic at times.
At the meeting, the owner stated at one point that she was hurt by my letter because she couldn’t believe I would see them in such a light; and that they’re not the enemies.
She then did her best to convince me that she’s not the type of person to discriminate, and gave positive examples.
One example ironically included how she sees everyone as beautiful regardless of their size, though she had made a snide comment about our store not having children’s shoes for my small feet (included in the letter I emailed her below).
Of all the loving souls I’ve met who didn’t seem to judge and discriminate (in a very noticeable way), NONE of them had to convince me that they don’t discriminate (because it was obvious).
Granted, she did admit that she’s known by the rest of the staff to be unapproachable whenever she’s in her creative zone.
I wanted to tell her that actions (rather than words) speak volumes, and that whenever one is truly in a creative zone—aka in alignment with their high power within, fully present, in the state of inner-peace, authenticity, profound wisdom, freedom, gratitude, appreciation, joy, and Unconditional Love (for self/others)—then one effortlessly becomes approachable. But I let it go.
Now, the additional questions that I need to ask myself are:
- “Do you truly desire to be a part of this type of community?”
- “Are the staff and coworkers the type of people who usually encourage, uplift, empower, inspire, care, share, and do teamwork (or vice versa)?”
- “How do you usually FEEL—FEELING state/vibrational frequency/what we radiate out—in this type of work environment?”
- “Are you usually happy (or not)?”
Lately, I’ve been considering a new chapter in my life, to include the idea of traveling somewhere beautiful and peaceful, and spending some invaluable, solitude time alone, to fully connect with Soul/Spirit within, not being concerned about all the nonsense of this world, and simply enjoying Life.
I also wonder, if tuning into various forms of uplifting abundance—as well as non-forms of uplifting abundance, like profound wisdom, inner-peace, freedom, etc.—has more to do with PURE, STRONG DESIRE, rather than all the mind-related beliefs.
As I’ve shared before within this blog, I’ve noticed a pattern throughout my life, then whenever I have a very strong desire for something, but then forget about it, it eventually shows up in my physical reality, whether it’s within minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades, etc.
So I’m grateful for all the seemingly chaotic, disharmonious, and unpleasant vibrations of CONTRASTS that I’ve been experiencing lately, because they are strongly pushing me towards more of who I actually PREFER to Be, and more of what I prefer to do and experience in Life.
In addition, I’m reminded that, ultimately, Spirit (The Neutral Observer) doesn’t discriminate between the contrasts/duality/polarity of right and wrong, good and bad (even evil), light and dark, etc., because these so-called opposites are essentially two sides of the same coin (as shared in post, “A Wealth of Gifts from Two Sides of the Same Coin“).
Image by Lorri Lang from Pixabay
I’ve even shared “positive” and “negative” stories within an old post, “The Rainfall and Sunshine of Balance” (Army-related post regarding so-called injustice, among other topics).
“A Sincere Letter For You”
Hi ____ [female Owner],
I typed the following letter after my shift last night, but sending it to you this morning, since it was late.
Also, I planned on not ever bothering you and/or ____ [her husband/male owner] (or even coworkers) on your days off, but this is important, and this may be my last message for you.
5/7/21 (Fri)
You were very irritated earlier today, so trying to talk to you didn’t seem like a good idea.
First, I’d like to clear any possible misunderstandings.
I helped _____ [male owner] place the multiple boxes by the storage room, and was informed that they were hats.
While selecting which ones to restock, and which ones to store, I noticed that one box had purses in it.
Since we have many, different color purses of various brands, it wasn’t even a thought they weren’t for ______ [boutique name].
So I asked you where you would like us to place them within the store, since you had recently organized the store the way you want it.
You raised your voice and asked what bags, and when I showed two of them to you, you approached me and pointed to the label yelling, ”Read the label! It says, _______ [a sister boutique]!”
I was never trained to check for sister store labels for boxes that are supposed to go into _____ [the largest boutique that I work at].
As a matter of fact, I never stocked that many boxes of products before while working here, so the thought that another’s store box got mixed in didn’t even occur to me.
I often do my best to expand my perspective, to transform a negative situation into a positive picture.
However, no matter what angle I review this situation from, I come to the conclusion that I definitely didn’t deserve to be treated that way, AGAIN.
And I’m confident that had any other employee that you’re close with, and that you like and admire, asked you a simple question (like I did), you wouldn’t go off on them.
This perception of discrimination is the same as what happened yesterday.
I was scheduled from 9 to 6—after working 6 days straight and having 1 day off—-but yet, _____ [our GM; whom I’ve forgiven] never showed up for her entire shift, to include relieving me, though she very briefly stopped by at opening to give me a task.
My husband came by at 6:03 pm, and I called _____ [our GM] to find out why she wasn’t replacing me to close (plus, I already worked 9 hours).
She initially didn’t even apologize, but just ordered, “You and ______ [my husband] just close.”
So I told her that i would appreciate it if she at least give me a heads up next time since ______ [my husband] doesn’t mind helping out every now and then, but he doesn’t need to be at my work an hour before the store closes.
Plus, he didn’t even stop by the house from his office, to feed our cats, because the schedule says I work until 6, so he figured he’d pick me up first and then go home.
_____ [our GM] said something came up, and it’s understandable. But I’m sure she would’ve at least called ______ [an elderly, seasoned employee] (a common courtesy) had she been scheduled to work with her, since she highly respects her.
Even _____ [my husband], who’s usually very easy going, optimistic, and deeply understanding, said that it was very inconsiderate, communication is very important between leadership and employees, and that anyone can easily make a quick phone call these days despite claiming to be too busy.
I also wondered if she had no intention of calling or working her shift.
All this can easily be perceived as discrimination. And no one likes the feeling of being unjustly treated this way.
I’ve already had a heart to heart communication with _____ [our GM] before about her becoming so defensive, snappy, and patronizing just because I asked for clarity about the schedule.
There’s nothing wrong with an employee asking a simple question.
I just happened to notice that I was scheduled for an unusual, 4 hour work day one day, scheduled to be at two different stores another day (which couldn’t happen unless I was cloned), and 6 days (3x).
I thought we were good to go after that seemingly sincere talk, since I can be very quick to forgive; but I realized yesterday that, leadership who respect an employee, wouldn’t treat them this way.
B___b [an awesome coworker at a sister store] was also scheduled to work 9-6, and I found out too late that she wasn’t even relieved for a meal break (though she’s not the type of person to complain).
This apparently happened to ______ [another coworker at a sister store] once, where she worked 10 hours, and wasn’t relieved to get something to eat, though our leadership ensure they eat [not our GM….
but our Sales Director, who told me she was going out to get some coffee one day, but called over two hours later from a sister store. I somewhat jokingly asked her, “Did you plant coffee beans?” to which she replied that after having coffee, she went out to eat lunch, and then headed to a sister store. Funny how she told me, during my training, that we should only take 10-15 breaks when it’s busy, and that staff members were abusing their 50% restaurant discount cards by often going out and buying drinks and food during their shifts. And the coworker, B___y, takes about 5 breaks throughout the day (and I don’t think it’s just to monitor her blood-sugar level). So some double standards going on]
Where is the caring leadership who takes care of their employees?
It doesn’t matter if one is a GM, an owner of a business, or the president of a country, it doesn’t make it right to habitually disrespect another who may be considered as lower, less than, and/or just an employee.
I’ve only worked here for over two months or so, and you’ve already went off on me twice for reasons that have baffled me, and have been very snappy a few other times.
Once, I simply asked if there was anything I could help you with—-because I saw you with a bunch of scarves—-and you went off, “I’m not the one who should be doing this!”
Of course, I had no idea what was going on because I had just arrived 20 minutes early before my shift (something I never did again).
I didn’t say anything that time, because I gave you the benefit of a doubt that you were stressed, or perhaps it was that time.
But now I wonder if this is going to be the norm, which no one deserves.
And if this is going to continue, I owe it myself to know that I deserve much better treatment from an employer.
I have no shadow of a doubt, that I can be one of the best employees you’ve ever had.
I don’t say this from a state of arrogance, but from past experiences, my dedication level, higher than average standards, my potential, feedback from military and civilian leadership, and last but not least…my big heart.
But I refuse to work for anyone who is unable to respect me and treat me fairly, the way any human being deserves to be treated.
I don’t ask for much ____ [female owner].
There are employees who habitually arrive late to work, close as quickly and early as possible without thoroughly organizing and cleaning the store (according to you and _____’s [male owner’s] high standards), and who ask for: a place to live, advance pay, loans, 50% off of already marked 50% store products, bonuses, [a water system to be installed], etc..
But I’ve never even asked for the employee discount, that I found out recently I was supposed to get much earlier (and according to ____ [GM], on day 1 for all employees, to include W___y).
We all experience various stress in our lives, but that doesn’t give us the right to dump it onto others, and make them feel bad.
This can seriously lower the morale of a company if this continually happens, and even demotivate employees.
You don’t think that recently finding out about one’s mother having a stroke is stressful to some degree?
Or even other stress factors, to include perimenopause, working 6 days straight per week (3 different times), having 1 day off, and then opening and closing until 8 pm the next day?
But it wouldn’t be cool of me to randomly go off on others just because I feel very irritated.
We can convey the same message without having to disrespect others, to include being condescending and patronizing.
Your sarcastic comment about our store not carrying children’s shoes (for my extra, small feet) was more disrespectful than funny, especially because you said this in front of a new coworker, W___y. It was also unprofessional.
[SIDE NOTE: W___y is the new employee whom I’ve been training, though she slowly walked off several times, in the middle of me explaining something to her. When I had a talk about this passive-aggressive behavior pattern, and how it can be perceived, she claimed she has a hearing issue, which I found out isn’t so true. She’s just buddies with B___y, who more than likely complained about me because I confronted B___y about her questionable ways, shared in posts series, “An Unshakable Full Presence is More POWERFUL Than Bombarding Negative Energies,“ “Choosing Self-Care Over Another’s Manipulation” and “Solutions for Challenging Coworkers & Leadership”]
I’ve already had one coworker call me vertically challenged a few times, short shit, and even ____ (and even W___y) tell me a few times how much taller they are than me; and I’ve actually been doing great at taking it all lightly.
But it is getting old, since I went through more than enough belittling, ridiculing, teasing, comparing, and even verbal and physical bullying throughout elementary and junior high school due to my tiny body (to include feet).
Ironically, I’ve also experienced in the past, a very rude, elderly Caucasian woman (sales associate) who said in a snotty tone, “The children’s section is over there,” after I simply asked her a question about a pair of shoes.
I regretted that I didn’t stand up for myself and say something that day.
But then again, it’s Korean culture not to disrespect elders (which no longer applies now if the elder is being an ass).
Plus, I was 8 months pregnant then, so I chose to walk off rather than stress myself and my baby.
I also wondered if she was racist, since she more than likely would not have treated Caucasian people this way.
However, since life lessons repeatedly show up in different forms (to include people), until we learn from them, I realize it’s time to express more of my inner truths in a healthy, honest, and tactful way, even with higher ups—-like an Owner of the business—-who can be unpredictable in an unpleasant way at times.
I love learning, and I consider myself a great student (and teacher + trainer); so I’m very open to tactful, constructive criticism, and embracing making mistakes, and learning from them (that I’d like to consider stepping stones of Soul Success).
But it really helps if the presentation of a message isn’t so rough and sharp at times.
Sometimes, the way you communicate can be a real turn off; there’s not even a fraction of kindness. And I doubt this would take place in front of others.
Even my hardcore, Army leadership—-to include a male, Special Forces First Sergeant, intimidating black female Command Sergeant Major, and serious Battalion Commander—-didn’t have the need or desire to ever talk to me in a disrespectful and/or aggressive way, because they knew I often went above and beyond, and it wasn’t necessary to yell, since I’m an adult.
Just because you don’t hear about it, from other employees/witnesses, or perhaps positive reviews, doesn’t mean that great things aren’t happening.
Ever since I worked at ______ and ______, [both boutiques] I’ve had multiple customers ask me if they could have a hug before they leave, ask me if I’m a healer or the owner, tell me I’m amazing, ask my name, thank me for a fun shopping experience (since I like to incorporate a lot of humor, as long as it’s not my 6th work day where I have little energy), and even return themselves, or bring a friend back the next visit. I’ve even remembered certain customers’ names days later.
So yes, I’m being and doing my best, _____ [female owner], though you don’t seem to show appreciation at times.
You can be so gentle, kind, humorous, cool, helpful, uplifting, empowering, and inspiring at times.
But other times, you seem to do a complete 180 that’s baffling and unsettling; and I’m a firm believer that leadership must at least be approachable, if not good with interpersonal skills.
Otherwise, employees will have a tendency to walk on eggshells around them, feel anxiety, and want to minimize communication with them, since it’s unknown when the leadership will suddenly explode like a volcano.
When we often push down and suppress our negation emotions—-that stem from negative thoughts and fear-based beliefs—-these unsavory feelings don’t go anymore [correction => anywhere].
But rather, they bubble up within us like hot lava, build more and more pressure, and then eventually explode out the body in an out of control manner.
That’s why it’s highly beneficial—for the self and interconnected others—to express negative emotions in a healthy, honest, and tactful manner.
If you fire me after reading this longass message, I can embrace it. I pretty much told C_____ [and older coworker] the same thing.
When she approached me the last time we worked together, she suggested that I tell the other coworkers to start doing inventory of the clothes.
I respectfully and tactfully told her that it would probably be best that she tell them, since she’s been working longer than me.
I also added that if I tell them, it might come off the wrong way since I’m the newbie and not in a leadership position.
I know this because I’ve attempted to share and pass on information about the ______ [a particular store product] when I first started (as instructed by ______ [male owner], but two coworkers slowly walked off on me on different days (a form of passive-aggressive behavior stemming from NOT being able to honestly express, “no thanks.”). So I let it go, and just showed by example.
Anyhoo, C_____ said she didn’t want to tell them since she’s part-time. I then suggested that leadership bring it up.
She then shared a little story with me about a former, young, female employee.
C_____ had suggested something to her, and the young employee got mouthy.
So C_____ informed you, and shortly after, the young employee was fired.
C_____ then said to me while smiling, “But don’t worry Barbara, I won’t get you fired!”
I calmly replied, “I have nothing to lose C_____. I can only be and do my best. And if that’s not enough for another, and I happen to get fired, then I fully embrace it.”
Whenever you were snappy with me, I did wonder if C_____ had told you that I was mouthy with her, which I’ve never been, and don’t intend to ever be. I understand y’all are friends.
But then again, as long as I know the truth, and continue to have faith that Spirit is my witness, I’m at peace.
Ultimately, Spirit within is my everything, to include my ultimate supporter (and even Cosmic employer); and no matter what happens, ALL IS WELL in my life.
So I ask that you be transparently honest with me ___ [female owner], by first being transparently honest with yourself.
If you don’t respect and/or like me for whatever reasons, and prefer that I no longer work at _______, just let me know.
That way, we no longer have to do this indirect, disharmonious dance; and we’ll both be free of each other.
By the way, I prefer to email you a sincere letter, than smile to your face, pretend that everything’s fine (when it’s clearly not), and talk bad about you behind your back.
Thank you for your time.
Barbara
Update
Continuation of final, Sedona post series, “Welcoming MAJOR Changes That Are Intimidating & Exciting“
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