This past Tuesday, after helping a new friend with her website for her small business restaurant, my husband and I stopped by a convenience store to buy a drink.
While waiting in the car, I noticed a man, probably in his thirties, walking back and forth in front of the entrance of the store, and asking passing customers for something.
When the man noticed me in the car, he approached the front and smiled at me. I smiled back, and then showed him that I didn’t have any cash on me. I felt bad that I didn’t even have any gum either.
Note: Thank you bleklerat.proboards.com for image on right.
I then read his lips as he said, “I’ve seen you before” with a smile on his face. I smiled back and shook my head side to side to show that I disagreed with him.
The man then non-verbally communicated to me to roll down my window so that he could talk to me.
Although he seemed gentle and friendly, I allowed my fearful ego self to take over me by immediately pressing the lock button of the car.
Even as I was doing so, I didn’t feel good inside my heart, a sign that I wasn’t in alignment with my loving True Self.
Note: Thank you spiritualnotreligious.blogspot.com for image on left.
As my husband walked out, the man said something to him as well. My husband apologized, like everyone else.
As we were pulling out of the convenience store, I told my husband about how I wished I would’ve handled the situation differently; but he disagreed, saying that the man had asked him for money to buy some alcohol.
I then explained to him that I wished I would’ve said at least one kind word to him, and that I had missed an opportunity to Be loving.
I also added that I believed that Jesus would’ve fearlessly welcomed the man into his space and healed him with his Love and Light.
Note: Thank you www.heartofeugene.org for image on right.
My husband used to be adamantly against giving money to beggars—since he believed that they would just use it towards booze—and would even get irritated with me giving money.
Once, I became so frustrated with him that I said, “We can learn the easy way or the hard way. I hope you won’t have to become homeless one day in order to learn to have compassion toward homeless people. You don’t know for sure their situation and what they’re going to do with the money.”
Instead of arguing about it whenever we came upon such a situation, one day, I decided to just let it go. Since it bothered my husband so much, whenever we came upon a beggar, I didn’t do anything and remained quiet.
Note: Thank you spiritualnetworks.com for image on left.
Instead, I just silently wished the beggar well, and thanked all aspects of my Higher Self (to include God and my angelic and spiritual realms) for assisting him.
One day, to my great surprise, my husband told me that he had placed some dollar bills and change in the car so that we could give them to whoever could use them.
To me, it was yet, another miracle. I thanked him for being so thoughtful and giving, and I thanked Divinity within me for the blessing.
I realized that my husband had recently changed when I changed within me—by choosing to go with the flow (the path of peace) of what is (trusting the Divine process and seeing the Divine perfection in everything), rather than resisting it and suffering.
Note: Thank you www.spiritualmediablog.com for image on right.
At the time, I didn’t understand why I was fearful of the man since I had helped homeless people throughout my life without hesitation—whether they were dirty, smelly, young, old, male, female, without a limb(s), blind, etc.
I later realized that my fear had set in due to an unknown experience, as well as familiar past experiences. The man’s eyes were bloodshot, and it was the first time I had ever encountered an obviously intoxicated homeless person.
I believe my fearful reaction (rather than a loving response) stemmed from an old and outdated belief that I had deep within me from my personal experiences—that drunk people can be hurtful (i.e., abusive family member or boyfriend, and rapist).
However, the man was more than likely not hurtful; but rather, was hurting inside. He was a wounded soul, trapped in his fearful ego self’s survival mode…just trying to make it to the next moment in life while numbing his pain and suffering in the process with alcohol.
The homeless man was the old alcoholic and suffering me lost (without a “home”) within my ego self’s world of illusions; he was my shadow (showing up as what I feared), and an aspect of my Expanded Self finally ready to be released and healed.
Note: Thank you colorfree-artist.deviantart.com for image on left.
Looking back, I realized that the homeless man was right, he did see me before…as another face. I was instantly reminded of what Jesus had said a long time ago, that he’s basically in every one of us:
“For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’
Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’
And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.'”
(Matthew 25.35-40 ESV)
Note: Thank you theconversation.com for image on right.
My heart sank with regret, sorrow and shame, and I apologized to Jesus (Christ Consciousness of both Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine energies within all of us).
I thought, “This must be how most of Jesus’ disciples felt when they believed that they had disappointed and even betrayed Jesus.”
Because I had once judged them for not being loyal followers to Jesus (at times), I, too, had to experience being in their shoes so that I can finally know that Being Love and Light to self and others is much easier said than done; hence, we shouldn’t judge ourselves and others for learning/growing/evolving as souls.
Rather than dwelling in a pool of guilt, like I have a tendency to do, I chose to deeply understand, empathize with, have compassion for, forgive, accept, embrace, and unconditionally love all aspects of my soul (and to continue working on integrating them)—my shadow self (inner child/soul) for wanting to be acknowledged, unconditionally loved and liberated, and my ego self (wounded inner child/soul) for just being the best it knows how to be (living from fear-based beliefs conditioned by society, to include making me feel guilty), for wanting to protect me from possible harm from the outer world, and for wanting me to be accepted and approved by the outer world.
Note: Thank you www.flourishinglotus.com for image on left.
Whenever I notice, recognize, acknowledge, and embrace my shadows (reflections of my shadow self from others), and realize that it’s time to release what no longer positively serves my soul growth, I make the statement, “Thank you my shadow(s) for your disguised blessings and for have serving me well. I Am now releasing my concerns/worries/anxieties, doubts, guilt, and fears to my angels and Ascended Masters to be transmuted and healed on my behalf.”
My fearful reaction to an intoxicated homeless person was a lesson well learned, and I’m grateful that I was even able to recognize it in the first place.
Note: Thank you ascensionangels.wordpress.com for image on right.
I told myself that I would be more aware and open (Mind/Heart) next time, so that I can Be fearless and powerful Love and enlightening Light to others, regardless of how they may appear on the outside.
Afterall, I must often remind myself that every soul is a part of the Divine whole/All That Is…just growing/evolving at their own pace that’s in their individual and the collective highest benefit.
So it is not for us to judge whether or not they are less than or greater than us, but to trust and accept what is in every Divine Moment of Now.
Note: Thank you responsiveuniverse.me for image on left.
