Integrating Light and Dark (<== Click on title to view in another window. This post helped me to expand my consciousness in regards to my brief relationship with my biological earth father)
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- SURPRISE Bio Papa!
- God’s Perfection
- My First Encounter with a Narcissist
- Different Versions of Hell
- Clarity
- What Would God Have Done?
- A Heartless Hypocrite or Just A Lost Soul?
- “The Amazing Peace that comes with Unconditional Forgiveness,” is the closure post
We’ve all been hurt before by someone, but when we said that we forgave them…did we really mean it, or was it just the right thing to say in society’s eyes and/or God’s eyes? I admit, there was one person in my world that I struggled to forgive unconditionally, although I said that I had; but now I finally feel peace for trusting God’s inspiration to do what my heart’s been yearning to do, but my mind was scared to do. As long as someone’s not continuing to hurt us (because if they are, we shouldn’t tolerate it for everyone’s sake), I believe that forgiving them unconditionally sets our hearts free.
I finally came face to face with a painful truth, that I had claimed that I had forgiven my biological father unconditionally, but I really didn’t. I was still hurt and angry and wanted justice, which is apparent in my passive-aggressive e-mails that I had sent him in the past (something I’m leaving behind as a learned lesson). Thanks to God opening my heart and ears to my stepmother’s words of wisdom, I was able to come to peace with this matter. My stepmother’s persistence to convince me to give (unconditional forgiveness) without expecting anything in return (to include a response) helped me to realize that it doesn’t matter if my biological father doesn’t respond to my e-mails or phone calls, forgive me as well, or even loves me; what matters is that I truly forgive him from my heart, not so that I can go to a place called heaven or receive approval from others for doing the right thing.
So I called him for the last time and left a message. He had changed his ringtone again from the last time I had left a message; it was no longer the joyful, classical music. Whether or not it’s related, I felt like that was his way of saying that he wasn’t happy anymore. Anyway, I let him know that I had finally come to this realization that I had been continuing to struggle to forgive him unconditionally, even though I had said that I already did. I also admitted that forgiving him unconditionally was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do (because I was afraid that I would get hurt again if he didn’t respond); but I was ready to do so now that I meant it. I told him that I was sorry for all the hurt that I have caused him, that he will go to heaven because God loves him, that I wish him and his loved ones well, and that it’s okay now if I don’t hear from him again. During the moment that I left the message, I tried hard not to cry; but my voice was shaken, not so much because of nervousness or sadness, but because I felt a sudden peace in my heart that was so intense and unbelievable. I knew then that it was another perfect and memorable moment, another gift sent by God.
Thank you God for reminding us to do what LOVE would do, to always seek the truth, to have the courage to face our fears, to desire to grow spiritually from both negative and positive experiences, and continue to have faith in perfect souls, things, and events that You and our souls create together.
I trust you and love you forever…Bobbie
Jonathan, thank you for taking a moment out of your day to share your story with me…it touches my soul. When souls struggle in similar ways and come together to search for truth, it creates a wonderful bond. I’m sorry to hear that you are struggling with similar issues. It hurts when you don’t understand why a parent wouldn’t want to have a relationship with his/her child/children. I now believe they all have what they believe to be good reasons, even though we may not understand them. My step-mother told me recently that every parent loves his/her child/children, no matter who says what…it’s in their blood. I thought that what she said must be true, because even though I never knew my bio father, I felt like my heart dropped to my stomach when I found out that he only had six to nine months left to live. I bet your father loves you and your sibling(s) with all his heart, and also thinks about you all a lot; but he’s (like other parents who abandon their child/children) probably struggling with becoming a whole person himself; he is a lost soul (like my biological parents) that needs healing. I’m sure God sent him on a separate and healthier path to benefit everyone invloved. I hardly know you, but just from reading your amazing and inspirational posts, I can tell that you’re a very loving soul yourself, and you have it in you to stay strong. Your mother and stepfather may not accept your marriage (for whatever reason), but as long as you KNOW in your heart that your marriage is sacred, that’s all that really matters. Because whatever you feel (your soul’s desires) and know in your heart (your intuition) is where God placed his inspiration. A wise old woman (my stepmother) once reminded me to listen to my heart as well. When people don’t want to be involved with you just because you won’t meet their expectations, then that’s on them. Not that we could, but if we tried to please everyone and their mamas, we’d go nuts! There will always be somebody who’s not satisfied, grumpy, pouty, whiney, angry, judgmental, hateful, etc….and many, if you happen to be surrounded by pessimists. 😉 If they truly love you (and I’m sure they do), then they’ll eventually come around. You can only do your best. Please don’t be sad or lonely Jonathan, because God loves you unconditionally, supports you 100%, and will always approve whatever you do, because he gives you complete freedom. As NDW put it in one of his books, if free will was truly free, then one should not be punished for choosing one option over the other. He also stated that true love means giving another total freedom…something I have to remind myself every now and then. And I bet a lot of other people like and/or love you as well! Just by the name of your blog, “serving others,” you can tell you’re very thoughtful and giving. I look forward to your great work! By the way, I decided that whenever I feel like I’m struggling again, I would go to your inspiring post called “Struggle” to bring a smile to my face again. Thank you so much, and for your kind compliment as well! 🙂
Beautiful Bobbie…I am struggling with similar issues–a father that abandoned us when we were young and has not been present. A mother and stepfather who who have not accepted my marriage, and are now not very involved with me. I feel that I do not have their unconditional love, support, or approval, and that makes me sad and lonely. Thank you for the inspiration.