For both the Army and civilian work environments, I had the opportunities to observe various leadership styles.

The so-called “bad” leaders taught me who I prefer not to be, and what not to do, to include, “Do as I say, not as I do.”

Image [right above] by Flash Alexander from Pixabay

And the so-called “good” leaders taught me what a true leader represents, to include leading by example.

Any soul teacher can be a “good” or “bad” leader, or anything in-between—regardless of their earthly position and/or status—but not every soul is ready (on their soul path/spiritual evolution) to Be a true leader.

And last but not least, I have experienced (for over three decades) a handful of badass, amazing leaders, who not only blew me away, but planted a powerful seed in my Heart that I intend to always remember, nourish, and flourish to its full-potential.

Image [left below] by Jackson David from Pixabay

These highly evolved, Wise Old Souls lead by example with their:

BIG Hearts, sincere full presence, soulful eye contact, professionalism, mental and emotional intelligence, deep understanding, compassion…

empathy, heartfelt thoughtfulness, genuine care for their Soldiers and/or employees, bravery, BOLD confidence (not arrogance), assertiveness, determination…

going above and beyond ambition towards excellence (NOT about unhealthy perfectionism, and competing with others in an overly aggressive and unhealthy way, but rather, about improving themselves)…

honest and effective communication, loyalty, a great sense of humor, a desire to train and teach (rather than withhold helpful information, from the fear of feeling threatened by another)…

and/or their abilities to transform so-called weaknesses into strengths via encouragement, upliftment, motivation, empowerment, and inspiration, and so much more.

In addition, they were very approachable, trustworthy, easy to open up and talk to, and were truly caring, active listeners.

I shared some stories about these unforgettable souls from the past, in the post, “Treasuring Awe-Inspiring Souls,” in addition to other, related stories within this blog. 

Since I’ve been experiencing some challenges within the past month—when it comes to various, neutral energy aspects of coworkers and leadership (that exists within ALL of us to varying degrees)—I came to the realization that the remnants of these so-called negative aspects have resurfaced from the abyss within, to ultimately gift me with even greater wisdom (profound wisdom at its finest).

I strongly and intuitively sense, that in order to become an amazing leader myself—which I’ve yearned to Be by emulating the true leaders I’ve crossed paths with—I need to be reminded of, via in-your-face CONTRASTS, what this IS, and is NOT.

Image [right above] by Syaibatul Hamdi from Pixabay

This video, “Abraham Hicks – Dealing with a Colleague who is a Bully” provided some very helpful reminders as to how to respond to (from a love-based, high vibrational frequency)—rather than react to (from a low, fear-based state)—a so-called bully (or someone who has a tendency to speak, behave, and/or act in an aggressive manner).

Image [above left] by www_slon_pics from Pixabay

Below are some recent, personal experiences (under 7 subtitles) that I can learn from (and gain wisdom), and not need to repeat the experiences again in various forms (that I don’t prefer)—if these same or similar experiences were to show up again—followed by example thoughts (from the above mentioned video) that I can consider.

A Recent, Personal Experience #1

A few days ago, I explained to our General Manager (GM) why I decided to stay later for a night’s closing—to do a thorough organizing and cleaning since the owner’s standards are very high, and there’s no time during the very busy day (especially if I’m the only one in the big boutique due to being short-staffed).

She pointed to me and aggressively said, “You’re WRONG”; she then proceeded to explain what I should’ve done instead.

One can convey the same message in a professional, respectful and kind way, without the need to play the ego’s blame game of, “You’re wrong and I’m right!”

I have no doubt that no one likes to be treated in this manner, whether it’s an adult or child.

At one point, when our GM finished talking—something she rapidly does with employees and even customers—I expressed my thoughts since there was a moment of silence.

However, she held her forefinger up in front of my face and told me not to interrupt her while she’s talking, though she was the one who interrupted me.

Apparently, I wasn’t the only one she did this too in a rude tone and manner.

I noticed a pattern of her having poor: active listening skills, and the observation of non-verbal cues (which is about 80% of human communication).

One day (recently), while she was having her mostly ONE-WAY conversation with another (a customer this time), it appeared as though she was utilizing her decades of experience in retail, that she reminded us several times at her lengthy, introduction meeting.

But at one point, the quiet, kind lady customer mentioned to her, “She’s amazing”—while surprisingly pointing to me who was nearby (because I had briefly interacted with her earlier)—but our GM didn’t even acknowledge what the customer expressed, and kept talking about our boutique items like an energizer bunny on crack.

It then occurred to me that it doesn’t matter how many decades of experience that one has in a certain field, it doesn’t necessarily make one an expert.

I’m a newbie when it comes to retail—though I have over a decade of experience in customer service in the civilian world (before and after the Army life)—but some of the important skills I’ve learned (but may not have mastered yet) are…

authenticity, full presence, soulful eye contact, unconditional kindness, respect, deep understanding, compassion, empathy, and active listening.

Again,  when I expand my perspective, I can take into consideration that perhaps our GM often communicates rapidly because she didn’t have a lot of opportunities to fully and freely express herself during her own childhood; perhaps she was often shushed by an aggressive authority figure.

Therefore, whenever she has the chance, she expresses herself as much as she can, the way a very anxious being—whether human, E.T., or animal—would rapidly gulp a lot of water after being dehydrated and parched for so long from a scorching hot desert walk.

What I also find intriguing involves shadow work as well. Though our GM is very talkative, she made two comments that revealed she wasn’t aware of this UNKNOWN/SHADOW aspect within her, which caused her to project it onto others.

Recently, when she stopped by our largest boutique, she started venting that our male owner talks too much, which prevented her from being able to do her bank runs; and she apparently told him this in a so-called joking manner (that include her truths).

Another day, she wanted to talk to me outside regarding switch in schedule. She asked that I never share this information with anyone below her—i.e., our Sales Director and other staff members—though I can always tell the owners if I wanted to.

At one moment, she vented, “________ [our Sales Director] always does this to me!” while making the moving Pac-Man gesture with her hand next to her ear (implying that our Sales Director talks too much, complains, and/or gossips a lot).

But I’m pretty sure it’s the other way around since the male owner (of the boutiques), and our Sales Director, are not nearly as talkative as our GM.

I can also take from this Life lesson to be more cognizant of my own, unknown/shadow aspects—whether negative or positive—that I may not be aware of as well.

Anyhoo, later that day, when our Sales Director briefly came by the store, and it was the three of us, and I actually had an opportunity to speak, I told the GM that she was right that I was wrong in my decision, and attempted to explain why I realized this; but she cut me off again, glared at me, and aggressively said, “I NEVER said that.”

This wasn’t the first time that she didn’t own up to what she said or did.

Several times, other coworkers and I brought up to her the fact that the schedules she created were off (causing much confusion among coworkers).

For instance, two of us were scheduled for 6 work days rather than the usual 5 (twice for me), I was scheduled for 4 hours one day instead 7 or 8, and I was also scheduled to work at two different sister stores in one day (which wasn’t possible unless I was cloned).

But rather than work towards a solution, she immediately and confidently told us that what we saw we didn’t see (aka gaslighting), and that she scheduled us correctly.

It was only after we showed her the printed schedule—that she passed out for each store—did she finally acknowledge her mistakes.

I trust that many people can understand human error—that we all experience throughout our lives–but it helps when one is wiling to own up to it rather than deny it. 

This type of leadership style can cause one to lose credibility, and lose the trust, respect, and/or admiration of employees.

Days before, I made a mistake of forgetting to place a necklace that I customer purchased into her bag.

Since she didn’t want to be in our system, I wasn’t able to contact her (though I would’ve been willing to deliver the necklace to her after work, or even mail it to her with my own money).

That day, I left a note with that necklace stating that it was my mistake, though a part of me felt embarrassed for being so negligent.

However, I’m reminded from within that if I’m willing to continue trusting that everything happens in Divine perfect timing and order (for the highest benefit of interconnected Life), then I must continue to have faith that even so-called mistakes (or failures) are, ultimately, stepping stones of Soul Success.

Tuning into the inner-strength and courage to be honest and admit to my mistake, and then experiencing the CONTRAST/OPPOSITE that our GM unknowingly gifted me, I’m now able to deeply appreciate self for having integrity.

I wondered if our GM became so defensive that day, because she thought I was trying to get paid more by working more hours.

Once, when I brought up to her the fact that she had scheduled me for a four-hour work day (which no one’s worked before), she said in a patronizing tone—and matching, negative non-verbal cues—while leaving the store, “Don’t worry Barbara, you’ll get your 40 hours.”

Since there were customers in the store, I sent her an email later that day from home, informing her that it wasn’t what she said, but how she said it, and that it no longer matters to me whether or not I work 40 hours per week.

I continued, that on the day that the male owner was interviewing me—or the one day that I was training with him—I had informed him that I was flexible, though I preferred a full-time position.

And he’s the one who mentioned that I would be working full-time, and that his largest boutique needed a lot of love, which he felt confident that I would provide.

Our GM replied via email that we talk in person (after my days off), and she apologized two days later, which actually felt sincere for once, and I appreciated it.

I often come into work 10-15 minutes before my scheduled shift starts—something I’ve often done in the Army and other civilian jobs.

In addition, my Sales Director suggested—during my interview day with her—that I come to work 15 minutes prior to my shift as well, since we all need to get ready for the day.

Ironically, I’ve never witnessed her come early (let alone 15 minutes early herself, but usually 10-15 min late).

From a limited, human, fear-based, narrow perspective, this way of being can easily be perceived as the famous saying, “Do as I say, not as I do” (which can make one judge and quickly lose respect for another).

However, from an unlimited, Multidimensional, loved-based, expanded perspective, I can have compassion for our Sales Director, because she more than likely is so exhausted from having worked for this company for over a decade, and also had challenging, physical dis-eases that she overcame a year or so ago.

I’ve only worked here about two months so far, and though there are plenty of pleasant moments at work—to include joyful ones where I (and/or certain coworkers and customers) incorporate humor, smiles and/or laughter—-there are also moments to days that are emotionally draining; so I can only imagine what it’s been like for our Sales Director all those years.

In addition, despite her so-called flaws (that we all have), I continue to appreciate her wonderful qualities, to include: the times she has shown genuine care for her teams, provided constructive criticism (in a tactful manner, unlike our GM), had my back at a meeting (and even in front of our GM), enthusiastically acknowledged customers’ compliments about me, and even shared her own, heartfelt, positive feedback. 

Granted, once, she informed me to only log in the start time of my shift (and not count the early arrival times), which I’ve never experienced before at a workplace since all the extra time adds up in the long run.

So technically, I work an average of an hour or more per week (4 hours plus per month, etc.) without even getting paid.

So if I feel the need to close later than usual—to prevent setting someone off because they only notice 1 or 2 things wrong, while not appreciating many others things that are done in an above and beyond manner—then SO BE IT, I don’t have to feel guilty about it just because someone else accused me of being wrong.

When I expand my perspective—further open mind and heart to integrated, higher Mind/Heart—-I can take into consideration that perhaps our GM was often treated in a disrespectful way during her own childhood and/or adulthood; I can then have compassion for her.

I also noticed a pattern of our GM’s TALK being WAY louder than her walk, and her communication often not feeling sincere.

When I expand my perspective, I can SEE (with CLARITY) the bigger picture.

Leaders who are truly confident (from within) do their best to ensure that their WALK speaks volumes, rather than continually blow their trumpet out loud for all to hear and be impressed by.

Because anyone can announce all the great things that they plan on being doing—which I’ve even done, since ALL neutral aspects of the WHOLE self exists to varying degrees in ALL of us—however, many people notice what IS, and what isn’t.

For instance, you can make an attempt to teach children various things about Life; but they watch adults like a keen-eyed hawk.

Besides learning from all the “negative” CONTRASTS that our GM mirrors to me, what else could I learn from her, as well as appreciate about her? Well, when I think of the positive qualities of our GM, she’s:

• very ambitious, motivated to create a foundation structure for the company that the owners desire
• highly organized, determined to create an effective SOP (Standard Operating Procedures) for the company, as well as other developing projects that essentially “cleans house” so to speak
• clever (though not wise) for the following situations—and I suppose the goal is to save the company money—but sending out these non-beneficial vibes that stem from fear-based, poverty consciousness, rather than love-based, Prosperity Consciousness can circle back in Divine perfect timing and order:
  • firing a staff member AFTER the busy season, for reasons that don’t explain why they didn’t let go of her BEFORE the busy season, which can be perceived as her being used in an unjust way.
  • giving a fancy title (The Committee), extra responsibilities, and tasks to a few Retail Sales Associate staff members (to include myself) who are NOT getting the additional pay (or even official positions) as Managers of the boutiques, though we’ll basically be doing inventory and other related tasks from now on that a typical Retail Manager does as part of their job description (I intend to bring this up in a tactful manner at our next company meeting). UPDATE added on 5/5/21 (in yellow section below)
  • That’s all the positive qualities I got for our GM for now since 1) I haven’t been around her enough to witness them, and 2) even her so-called friendliness—that often comes with an eerie, exaggerated smile—often doesn’t feel sincere.
  • It wouldn’t be a surprise if the idea of adding inventory tasks to our job came from […] Story continuing under subtitle below, “A Recent, Personal Experience #2.“
  • UPDATE added on 5/5/21 (in this yellow section only): Yesterday, when my GM informed me earlier in the afternoon that she had another assignment for me, I was so not in the mood to find out what it was. I was on my 6th work day for the week (not usual schedule), and felt like I barely had enough energy to get me through the day. I wasn’t my usual, outgoing, jokey self with customers either (more masculine energies). But I fully embrace this reserved part of whole self (conserving energy), since I’m also this way (feminine energy of going inward) during perimenopause phase and the new and full moon periods. I even decided to ask our GM what the benefits are for being a member of “The Committee,” other than the extra responsibilities, work, and less pay), rather than wait until the next company staff meeting. However, to my delightful surprise, I was informed by our GM of some great news instead. I now trust that I had tuned into an improved version of a parallel, Earth reality, because I chose to have healthy boundaries and speak up (which is very empowering), rather than feel possibly taking advantage of, used, and victimized by others (which is disempowering). Our GM first shared that she and the owners of the company appreciate me so much, and all the great qualities and work that I bring to the company. She actually sounded sincere this time, so I gently thanked her. I also shared with our GM my observations of her beneficial, positive qualities (that I had recorded in this post) for the first time, and like an innocent, excited child, she asked with a high-pitched tone, “Really?” which was touching. She also mentioned that her and the owners had a talk, and decided that it would be best for me to be the one to train a new staff member arriving soon, which I openly agreed to. She also said that they decided to give me a generous $2 pay raise as well, which I really appreciated, and sent the owners a gratitude email this morning (since I worked late yesterday). I feel grateful that my life’s improving; and I trust that it stems from embracing, healing, integrating, and transmuting old, fear-based energies within (inner-work), that I’ve been being and doing via this blog, artwork, cartoons, a few YouTube videos, open-mic poetry, open-mic comedy, and other creative projects for over a decade.

A Recent, Personal Experience #2

It wouldn’t be a surprise if the idea of adding inventory tasks to our job came from a tall, older female coworker (I think in her sixties).

About a week or so before receiving two pages of inventory tasks to do (for The Committee members only), this coworker suggested that I tell my older and elderly coworkers (who’ve worked at the largest boutique much longer than I have) to start doing inventory during the work day.

I respectfully informed her that this idea would be better coming from her, since she’s worked at the boutiques much longer than I have, and it could come off the wrong way from a new staff member (like I’m telling them what to do, when I’m not even in a leadership position).

Side Note: Above reason for not wanting to tell my coworkers what to do shared under subtitle, “A Recent, Personal Experience #3” further below

I also informed her that it’s often very busy throughout the work day, with barely enough time to do all the other list of tasks (that usually gets done at closing)—let alone the additional inventory tasks that sounds like another full-time job—especially when there’s only one person on the floor within the largest boutique (due to being short-staffed during busy season).

She responded that she only works part-time, so she prefers that I bring it up to them. So I suggested we bring this up in the next staff meeting, since I still didn’t feel comfortable adding more work to our schedule.

This coworker then proceeded to share a little story with me—with her usual big smile and fully opened eyes—about a former, young staff worker who got mouthy with her after she suggested to her an idea.

This coworker then told our female owner of what happened, and this young employee was fired.

Once she ended this amusing story, she gave me a quick, half-ass smile and said, “But don’t worry Barbara, I won’t get you fired!”

At that very moment, I had the choice to leave the ball in her court (and spiral down into victim mentality), OR, reclaim my inner power. I confidently and calmly replied to her, “I have nothing to lose. I can only Be and do my best, and whatever happens from that state I fully embrace.”

She looked surprise, and then left the boutique. Whenever I work with her, she’s been taking off for 1-2 hours, claiming she needs to go the main office.

I’ve noticed, whenever I see her, she often likes to start gossip about other staff members from our sister boutiques (which is a great CONTRAST that reminds me to more deeply appreciate the few staff members who are not this way).

Recently, as soon as I arrived for my mid-shift, this coworker started talking really fast about how great she did with sales, how she’s really good with selling the last clothing item, and how horrible the largest boutique did one day in sales.

I informed her that the lowest sale day was the day I was working, and that one of the factors for the lack of customers, could’ve stemmed from the weather being cloudy, gloomy, cold, and very windy.

I suppose she felt put on the spot, because she suddenly changed the subject and said (with a disapproving facial expression and tone) that our sister store next door did a similar, low amount of sales the day before.

I shared with her that days like that can happen to any store on any day, but that I’d like to focus on all the great sales days that we’ve had (that definitely out-numbers the one, low sales day).

I don’t think she’s too fond of me, because I have no interest in playing along with her gossip games, and I have a tendency to speak my mind.

Though I do my best to be respectful and tactful, she may consider me to be mouthy (hence, the above story she shared with a fake smile, in an indirect, passive-aggressive manner, to basically hint to me that she’s close friends with the female owner, and has the power to fire me if I rub her the wrong way).

Quite frankly, I don’t give a rat’s ass that she (or anyone else) doesn’t respect and/or like me.

Even if I were to get fired for whatever reason, I gladly welcome it—fully trusting Spirit within, that no matter what happens, ALL IS WELL in my life (something that I’m often reminded of, from the angelic realm, via angel number messages).  

A Recent, Personal Experience #3

Before I started working for this company of sister boutiques, the male owner gave me a list of information to study and become familiar with (along with tutorials to watch online); so for three days of my personal time, I did my best to do so.

When I started working at the largest boutique, he instructed me to pass on the information I had studied, that we even talked about (to include a demonstration).

I attempted to share this helpful information with four coworkers who came before me, letting them know that the owner wanted me to pass on the info.

All four of their verbal expressions and/or non-verbal cues conveyed, in a crystal clear manner, that they weren’t receptive to this idea (and understandably so, since I’m the newbie).

Two older women told me that they were glad that I’ll be mostly dealing with these products now.

Two other, older women slowly started walking off, in the middle of me explaining the details (which was somewhat amusing).

I put one of my coworkers on the spot—because I felt more comfortable with her (since we joked around at times)—by asking her why she started slowly walking off, instead of just saying that she wasn’t interested.

She smiled and said…I forgot what she said, but her behavior was more like an innocent child not wanting to pay attention due to boredom; so I let it go.

The other coworker’s behavior didn’t feel so innocent, but more calculated, more than likely because I’ve noticed that she has a tendency to be passive-aggressive in a very subtle manner.

This often comes with the mask of, “I’m super positive 24/7 with my non-stop smiles, random bursts of loud laughter, and exaggerated expressions!!!” (which gets old pretty quick, and can even be draining; I can only take it in small doses at a time).

I recently initiated a heart-to-heart conversation with this coworker, informing her that I wasn’t trying to teach a seasoned coworker about that particular product, but was merely sharing what I was instructed to by the male owner.

She replied (with wide opened, non-blinking eyes), “Oh, I didn’t mind at all. And whoever can’t even learn from a new staff member needs to just quit!”

At that interesting moment, I wondered what she would’ve said if I had called her out by saying, “But you’re the one who slowly walked off on me while I was sharing information with you, though there were no customers in the store at the time.” But again, I let it go.

One day, she shouted how AMAZING a women’s shirt was multiple times, to two, elderly couple customers.

One of the men became very irritated and said out loud (in a sarcastic manner), “Not everything is AMAZING. Give it break. Let me guess, you went to summer camp for this, didn’t you?”

It was an awkward moment, and my coworker slowly and silently started walking away from the group; it was pretty apparent that she heard him as well.

I turned to him and gently shared, “D_______ does her best to be very optimistic, and I understand that it can come off a bit too much at times. We don’t receive commission here, so she was probably just trying to be helpful.” He nodded his head.

Anyhoo, I decided not to push the info to my coworkers since they weren’t interested.

However, I did notice that they would quietly observe and listen in (at times), whenever I explained to customers about the product.

So I learned that its sometimes better to simply show rather than tell.

Once, the 4th coworker—who slowly walked off while I was sharing info with her—stopped by our store, though she was working at a sister store that day.

About an hour or so later, another coworker—the tall, elderly woman mentioned within the previous subtitle—from that sister store called, and was clearly upset, in a very pissed off way.

She vented that it was super busy, and didn’t understand why my coworker was taking so damn long to come back.

I immediately relayed the message to my coworker, and she very calmly replied—with a cold, straight, facial expression—that she’ll go back when she’s ready; and she took her sweet time while humming to herself.

Recently (5/4/21), when another coworker from a sister store wasn’t feeling well, this coworker had agreed to replace her and finish the shift.

However, she took her sweet time as usual, and the other coworker called to find out when she was coming.

After she hung up the phone, she appeared as though she didn’t care again, and took her sweet time.

I realized that whenever we say, “Yes,” to others—when we actually want to say, “No”—resentment can develop, which can then turn into passive-aggressive behaviors, words, and/or actions.

I’ve noticed, at times, that this coworker’s seemingly eerie facial expression, and other non-verbal cues that feel off, are familiar.

I’ve actually seen these aspects—while watching certain TV shows or movies about “abnormal” people back in the day—like in the movie, The Hand That Rocks the Cradle (the main female character ultimately playing a wounded soul who has lost its way).

And even though this dark/shadow aspect that this coworker may be revealing, is not to the extreme degree (a literal, hardcore psychopath), this form of disharmonious energy definitely felt present—the “super positive” façade that’s covering something much darker and negative within.

When we habitually suppress our inner-truths and authentic feelings, rather than express them in a healthy manner, we can become very passive-aggressive.

I know, because when I’m transparently honest with self—-which isn’t always easy to do, but definitely doable with practice—I realize that I, too, can be any of ALL neutral aspects within the WHOLE self (physical selves)/Self (Source/Higher Self: Soul/Spirit within), to include being passive-aggressive.

So the goal is to maintain healthy expressions, so that these negative thoughts, beliefs (repeating thoughts), and emotions don’t become suppressed.

Because when they do get PUSHED DOWN, they don’t go anywhere; but rather, they’re like bubbling lava, that eventually builds up enough pressure to cause an EXPLOTION out of the volcano, in an out of control way.

This is similar to the way these negative emotions would be released out of our physical body in an unexpected manner, like someone suddenly going off on someone, or the extreme example of someone going postal out of the blue.

When I expand my perspective, I can have compassion for this coworker by taking into consideration that during her childhood (and even adulthood), perhaps she feared fully and freely expressing herself.

This deep fear could stem from whatever repercussions she experienced in the past from having expressed her authentic self, especially by her closest family members.

Therefore, she had no choice but to go in roundabout ways to get her needs and wants met (taught by Teal Swan), to include, needing to be passive-aggressive.

When I further expand my perspective, I realize that whenever I happen to notice that I’m being passive-aggressive, I can have this profound understanding of why I’m being this way, have compassion for self, unconditionally forgive self, move on, and unconditionally love self (and this full, inner cup can then effortlessly overflow to interconnected others) .

There are also times when this coworker talks to herself out loud for a lengthy time, which can easily be perceived by others as someone who’s cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

A few times, I would ask, “What was that?” only to find out that she wasn’t talking to me, or anyone else.

So I’ve learned to unconditionally embrace the fact that she’s this seemingly odd way at times.

From another perspective, I wondered if she was tuning into another dimension, reality, or world; hence, talking to another human, E.T., otherworldly being, a group of beings, her spiritual guides, etc. (ultimately, ALL aspects and extensions of her highest version of Self, like the rest of us have within us as well).

Perhaps even I was doing this when I was five years old, for the childhood story shared in post, “Discovering the NEW About Interconnected Self/Others.”

In addition, I once shared with her what had happened while I was swiffering the store.

I came upon a grasshopper that had its right leg amputated next to it. It was still moving the rest of its body, and appeared to be looking right at me, telepathically communicating, “For the love of God, can you help a soul brother out?!”

I felt so sad for it, and wondered what I could do to help it, besides what I’ve done in the past, which is to place my left hand above the insect or bug, and silently express, “I AM healing hand” via the I AM Presence within (shared example stories within this blog).

The thought crossed my mind that even humans who have had their limb(s) amputated survived and continued to live, so why not a grasshopper (whom I’ve also shared stories about, to include post, “A Visit from Spirit as Spider & Grasshopper“).

So I gently picked up the grasshopper with a tissue paper, and took it outside the store within a big flower pot, next to a flower.

I simply trusted that the loving, supportive energies of Mother Nature would take care of the grasshopper.

Granted, when I arrived home, another thought crossed my mind (probably from my fear-based, ego self), that because I had left that grasshopper alive, other insects, like ants, could attack and eat it.

However, I chose to disregard that non-beneficial, negative thought, and trust that, ultimately, no sentient being is a victim, and that Life will continue to flow and BE.

When I expand my perspective to a Multidimensional one, I can also perceive this grasshopper encounter as another message from the grasshopper spirit guide/animal totem/power animal (like the post/link shared above).

Whenever I SEE a grasshopper in my outer, physical reality, I’m reminded of the golden opportunity(ies) to tune into a LEAP in individual and Collective Consciousness, via higher perspectives that reveal the bigger picture.

So I could interpret this visit—ultimately from Spirit within in the form of a grasshopper—as a message to further open my mind and heart (to integrated Mind/Heart) in order to experience a LEAP in Consciousness.

The amputated right leg—the right side of the body which correlates with the left brain, and represents the male energies within—can be symbolic of the inability to MOVE FORWARD in Soul growth/spiritual evolution, as long as I continue to judge this coworker (and others) from my ego’s fear-based perspective.

However, when I do my best to maintain a higher, love-based, Multidimensional perspective, I can heal this wounded side of whole self, and experience THE LEAP into greater awareness.

Anyhoo, when I shared this grasshopper experience with this coworker (minus the last paragraphs of insights above)—which I have no doubt was meant to happen for our highest, soul growth benefit—I could tell by her gentle verbal expression, and genuine, loving, non-verbal cues, that she felt deep compassion for this grasshopper, and he shared that I had made a good call, and that’s what she would’ve done as well.

I trust that all humans contain ALL aspects within us to varying degrees—the so-called beneficial CONTRASTS of right and wrong, good and bad, light and dark, etc.—whether we’d like to admit to this or not.

So I realized that even if we have psychopathic tendencies—ranging from the degrees of very subtle to extreme—Unconditional Love still exists within, even if it’s a tiny, known percentage.

I also realized, that despite this coworker being a major PITA (Pain-In-The Ass) at times, and even very frustrating, she (like the rest of us) has her light side as well.

For instance, there are moments where her positivity actually FEELS sincere; and I’ve complimented her about these positive qualities. 

A Recent, Personal Experience #4

Thanks to the male owner who helped prepare me, before I started working at the company (shared above), I was able to use the helpful knowledge to help others.

My Sales Director even nicknamed me the _________ queen because I’ve sold a large number of this product.

And to my great surprise, a lot of customers shared with me how impressed they were that I was so knowledgeable.

One customer named Steve—whom I had sold this product to several days ago-–returned with his friend, Dan, who initially looked so serious and skeptical, and asked me a lot of questions.

I answered all of them, and even added some extra, helpful information; and towards the end, he surprisingly smiled real big, his eyes lit up, and he enthusiastically said, “I’m sold!”

We were all surprised that I had remembered Steve’s name, but I’ve noticed from past experiences that it’s easier to remember names whom we have a strong, emotional memory from (whether positive or negative).

And Steve was very kind, unlike some customers who aren’t able to give kindness to others due to an empty or barely filled, inner cup (from past hurt/inner heart wounds).

I’ve also been informed by customers that I’m a great salesperson, which I didn’t fully take as a compliment, since people like, car salesmen, have a bad rap of being very aggressive and pushy sales folks.

I’ve been sharing a few responses to customers who mention that I’m a very good salesperson (though I’ve never thought of myself in this light since I’m pretty new at retail, though not at customer service).

For example, I tell them that I shop too; hence, I like to treat others the way I like to be treated.

This includes not forcing customers to buy what they have no interest in, but rather, help them to buy what I sense they really like or love, help them to discover what product(s) speaks to them, as well as help them to let go of any guilt about treating themselves, because they don’t believe they deserve it.

Customers often respond with the, “Oh, I see” nod or facial expression.

One day, a tall, strong-boned, female customer (who appeared to be in her thirties) entered the largest boutique.

My Sales Director greeted her in a friendly manner as usual, and I, too, welcomed her when she arrived to the side of the store that I was at (I was stocking sunglasses, and she was at the nearest rack).

Right after I greeted her, she EXPLODED, shouting that everyone needs to leave her alone, and to stop being so pushy.

I realized, at that moment, that she had more than enough, unpleasant experiences with very pushy sales associates, and couldn’t take it anymore. 

So I gently shared with her that we (Sales Associates of our boutiques) don’t receive commission, and we were just welcoming her and trying to help.

To my great surprise, her demeanor did a 180, and she calmly and quietly responded, “Oh.”

I then gave her space to simply be free and explore the store.

Moments later, my Sales Director asked where this customer was so that she could approach her.

I immediately told her to scratch out that idea, and then asked her, “You didn’t hear that customer go off?” to which she replied that she didn’t.

And when I explained what had just happened, she was baffled.

However, I have no doubt that this was a great reminder of what type of sales associate NOT to be (I shared example stories of the aggressive sales person under subtitle, “A Recent, Personal Experience #5” right below).

A Recent, Personal Experience #5

When a coworker was habitually aggressive—shared in post series, “An Unshakable Full Presence is More POWERFUL Than Bombarding Negative Energies“ “Choosing Self-Care Over Another’s Manipulation,” and “How Facing Fear Can Birth Unconditional Love”—though challenging, it was easier to find a solution since she wasn’t in a high, leadership position.

I gave general examples of what had happened, but this is a specific story since it’s related to this topic.

As Fashion Stylists/Retail Sales Associates, the staff is allowed to choose what we wear (clothes, hats, and/or jewelry) for the day to represent the items, which can be very effective at times since we end up selling them that day (sold several jackets and clothes so far).

I love to choose what I prefer wearing, but I’ve also been open to suggestions from my coworkers (and female owner) since they have more experience than me when it comes to fashion.

One day, my coworker B____ (mentioned in above post) suggested a shirt (that matched my shoes), and I told her that it was a great idea and wore it.

However, she then said, “Wear this” (a wool hat), so I responded, “Nah, I’m not feeling that.”

She then demanded, “Just WEAR it,” to which I replied, “B_____, it’s Spring time, and wool is too hot to wear.”

When she aggressively pushed me to wear it the third time, I assertively responded while maintaining strong eye contact, “B_ _ _ _, NO means NO,” and she finally backed off while while gently saying, “Okay, yes ma’am.”

And I gently said to her, “Well, that’s the third time you insisted on pushing what you want rather than respecting what I prefer.” Since then, she hasn’t been pushy.

Granted, I have witnessed her this way with many customers, telling them things like, “Wear this” or “Wear that.”

I noticed that this method often works for passive people with little to no healthy boundaries, but it doesn’t work on those who respect and love themselves to whatever degree.

Once, her overly pushy sales tactic backfired. She demanded that a customer try on a shirt, and the customer looked at her with disbelief—-as though she wasn’t thinking, “This B!=ch is CRAzy”—and assertively said, “I’m fine!” and left.

I recently learned that whenever we humans feel a strong need to CONTROL our outer world (people, situations, events, things, etc.), it’s because we don’t feel safe and secure.

And this intense anxiety and insecurity stems from our chaotic, out of control inner world, where our own bombarding thoughts, beliefs, and emotions are not in harmony.

My coworker’s tendency towards aggressive words, behavior, and actions are understandable since she did mention one day that she’s very competitive.

It tickled me that she shared this truth—as though it was some ancient, Japorean secret—because I was already aware of this fact.

I’ve learned that competition can be highly beneficial to self/others, or extremely detrimental.

We can be competitive in a healthy way (i.e., doing our best to achieve our growing full-potential).

OR, we can be competitive in an UNhealthy way, which can easily lead to resentful comparisons, jealousy, not wishing others success, stepping on others to get ahead, being overly pushy, and even taking advantage of others. At one point, this coworker mentioned that she wanted to beat the total sales of our sister boutiques.

This is the exact problem that our Sales Director mentioned that our company has—regarding a particular staff mentioned below, who has a strong need to compete with sister boutiques as well—since we’re all on the same team, and shouldn’t be competing with one another. 

A Recent, Personal Experience #6

When I first started working at this set of family-owned boutiques, I was informed by several coworkers that the above mentioned coworker—who works at the boutique next to our largest one—is very competitive.

So it’s no coincidence that she, too, has (hopefully had) a tendency to be very aggressive, manipulative, and controlling; she apparently made two coworkers cry within a short period of time because she went off on them.

Once, when I was new at the job, she called and went off on me while I was helping her out over the phone.

But because there were customers present, I chose discernment over expressing what I really wanted to say to her.

When I noticed that the caller id showed her boutique shortly afterwards, I assertively (borderline aggressively) answered, “Is this A _ _ _ _ n?”

I was ready to inform her not to ever speak to me in that disrespectful manner again, especially when I’m the one helping her find an outfit for her customer.

However, whatever mystery person called (only out of 2 coworkers), she hung up right away.

Since then, whenever we happened to interact—but thankfully not work together within the same boutique—I would maintain strong, healthy boundaries with her, and simply Be assertive.

And it’s no surprise that as the weeks went by, she suddenly became very nice to me, even calling the boutique that I work at after closing, just to say good night.

I said it’s no surprise (right above), because I’ve had multiple experiences in the past where I stood up to very aggressive people —to include my once, extremely aggressive, manipulative, and controlling mother—and they would BACK THE  F!@# OFF, and even transform to gentle kindness.

So I’ve learned that even the so-called “negative” aspect of the ultimately neutral aggressive energy, can be used in ways that benefit the self/others (though not meant to be misused or abused); and I’ve shared plenty of example stories within this blog.

When I expand my perspective, I’m reminded from within that being  overly aggressive and competitive stems from low, self-esteem. 

Truly confident, well-grounded Beings have no need or desire to compete with others in an unhealthy way, since such Beings are more interested and  invested in simply Being and doing their best selves/Selves.

A Recent, Personal Experience #7

Recently, the male owner came to the largest boutique and shared with a big, genuine smile that I was doing awesome, and I deeply appreciated his uplifting feedback (something I love to share with others, to include coworkers, our Sales Director, and customers).

It can be discouraging and demotivating when you often strive for excellence (not perfection), often go above and beyond to meet (and even excel) high standards (set by the owners), only to have someone habitually get irritated, and point out some minor flaw that was overlooked.

Recently (4/25/21; added updates to this post on 4/27/21), as soon as I showed up for work, one of my coworkers was very irritated that I had left ONE (of many) empty hangers on a rack (after selling the last, red leather jacket)—within multiple racks of the boutique—and apparently complained to my other coworker (who then told me later).

I told her in a tactful manner that I always do a final walk through of the entire boutique after thoroughly organizing, dusting, and cleaning everything within the large store, so accidently overlooking one hanger can happen.

In addition, I continued that it would be nice to be appreciated for the 50+ plus things that one does very well, rather than be criticized for the one thing that was missed.

She then said in a snotty tone, “Don’t take things so personally,” which is a crappy thing to say to someone right after telling them something in an irritated manner. 

I didn’t mention this part to her, but when I first started working at the largest boutique, it appeared as though it hadn’t been dusted in a while, the toilet was nasty, and all the drawers of the register dresser looked like a tornado went through it (which I took the initiative to clean and organize by the way).

So I don’t care to hear another person complain about the lack of cleanliness of this boutique; and the next time she does, I will share the above mentioned fact.

To my great surprise (initially), the very coworker who was irritated about the ONE petty hanger out of place, was the one I wrote about in the recent post, “What is an Amazing Soul Relationship?.”

Shortly after feeling a bit (ok, more than a little) heartbroken that she was this way—treating me different in front of another coworker in an “I don’t respect and like you” way)—I came to the realization that her soul had gifted me with a blessing in disguise.

She reminded me that there’s no need to get emotionally attached to another in an unbalanced way, to include putting another on a pedestal.

In addition, I could tell that this coworker felt bad about the way she treated me in front of the other coworker (who also said that was uncalled for), because she shifted to being gently kind again when that coworker left for the day (after being fired by the GM for various reasons I found out later, which made me wonder why the GM waited until after busy season, as though they used her).

I also had a flashback to the first day that I met this elderly coworker (about a month or so ago).

The first thing that she shared with me is that she’s not a team player (though she can be), since she likes to work alone (a defense mechanism/a protective wall indirectly communicating, “I don’t want to be hurt by anyone else again”).

She also added that she doesn’t like people who talk bad about others in front her, since that lets her know that she’s more than likely on their gossip list as well.

I agreed that she has a great point, and I appreciate her sharing honesty, since that helps me to trust her.

Since that conversation, we surprisingly seemed to work very well together—often joking around, sharing each other’s vulnerable truths (to include her admitting to the already known truth that she had lost a lot in life, to include being hurt by others), profound wisdom, and actually working together as a great team (despite her claim of not being a team player).

So her suddenly doing a 180 on me recently was completely unexpected…at first.

However, looking back, and expanding my perspective—to a higher, love-based, Multidimensional one—I realize that she judged in others the so-called negative aspects known as “gossiping about others” and “being two-faced,” because she doesn’t like these very same aspects that exists within herself (since ALL neutral aspects exists within ALL of us, to varying degrees).

And when I expand my perspective even further, I come to the realization that she unknowingly mirrored this Divine gift of CONTRAST reminder to me (a blessing in disguise), so that I can always remember to NOT be and do (to self/others) all that I don’t prefer to be and do.

Example Thoughts that I Can Consider to Help Shift How I FEEL—FEELING state/vibrational frequency—from the Abraham-Hicks video message/link above:

• “Because s/he stirs this within me, s/he must be important to my unfolding” [aka soul growth/spiritual evolution/expanding individual and collective consciousness]
• “I know I’m going to benefit from something going on here, and I thank her/him for that”
• “I think if s/he was connected to her/his Inner Being—[aka Soul/Spirit/Higher Self/God/Goddess/I AM Presence/etc.]—s/he would generally mean well”; and the fact that s/he must NOT be must mean that s/he’s got some pressures on herself/himself” (giving a benefit of a doubt)
• “I would like to get along with her/him. I do believe s/he has knowledge that I can benefit from”
• ” I appreciate her/him sticking to what s/he means; maybe s/he was bullied (aka someone was aggressive to her/him), and that’s where s/he learned it
• “I know that I benefit from each and every person that I interact with”
• “When something FEELS STRONG to me, I know that there are strong reasons for it [aka if something TRIGGERS me, there is an opportunity to embrace, integrate, heal and transform an aspect/part of the WHOLE self/Self (a Divine gift to be received)]”
• “I always gain the most from those who been a bit challenging”
• “I look forward to the relief I’ll FEEL when I release my resistance to this person”
• “S/he could end up being my greatest advantage; s/he’s got my attention, and s/he’s giving me reason to focus”
• “I intend to win this one, to find success—to FEEL good about this [since our FEELING state IS our powerful vibrational frequency that can transform our lives in amazing ways]
• “If it were not for her/him being in my life, I wouldn’t have this opportunity to OWN what I’m offering vibrationally, and adjust it to what I want” [aka BE a Master Alchemist/Master of Frequencies within, and eventually without]
• “S/he’s making me acknowledge that I’m offering a vibrational reaction in a knee-jerk way, in which case I have NO control, when what I REALLY want to do is always be in control of what I’m offering” [i.e., vibrationally, either stemming from disempowering fear, OR empowering Unconditional Love]
• “Thank you so much for not kissing up to me. Thank you for not being one of those who tries to replace my Inner Being, and is sort of successful at it, because I looked to them for the happy feelings, rather than to my Inner Being. This may be one of the most significant relationships I will ever have. I’m so happy to have this relationship. That ought to do it. S/he WILL BE DIFFERENT from now on with you. And because you were open—you allowed your vibration to RISE, you’re in complete vibrational accord with your Inner Being, there were no assertion here, you drew all of this forward into your experience. There has been a vibrational shift within you, you will now witness what that means” SO TRUE! ^_^

Update

Added 5/7/2021

I shared the following comment for this mind and heart opening YouTube video, “Alan Watts ~ Love Thy Enemy”:

Recently, I’ve been strongly drawn to profoundly wise messages by Alan Watts (via YouTube videos), which I trust is happening in Divine perfect timing and order.

I watched such videos years ago, but then took a break; it’s time to tune into his high, vibrational frequency essence again.

I truly appreciate his unique, soul-igniting, hilarious, and deeply heartfelt, consciousness expanding expressions.