The following is a comment I left for the very helpful video, “Karma (Does Karma Exist or Doesn’t It?)“:
Lately, I’ve been feeling very hopeless, as though there’s nothing left in this world and other worlds that I desire, though I used to get excited about the possibilities of various life experiences. I even had a hard time getting out of bed the past couple of days (drained from mostly fear-based, parallel or alternate reality dreams, as well as otherworldly dreams).
And then I was drawn to this video, a genius co-creation that transforms an extremely complex topic into something understandable. Thank you so much Teal and team for one of the most encouraging, uplifting, empowering, and inspiring messages I’ve ever watched. I’m also going to watch the recent video regarding the truth about depression.
Note: Image on right above found next to link => Bentinho Massaro
The following is a long@$$ comment I shared for the above mentioned video, “DEPRESSION (The Truth about Depression that No One Sees or Understands)“:
Thank you so much Teal and team for this SPOT ON video. While in the Army, I received individual and group therapy (PTSD group for military women of all branches). One day, we all shared our experiences about various depression medication that we all took at least a few types of throughout the months, and agreed that they were ALL making us feel like crap, and/or numb (even sexually). Since then, I got out of the Army, discontinued taking depression meds altogether, and started my deep healing journey of self-discovery, which included crossing paths with your videos.
Your message within this video has gifted me with clarity by helping me to identify the two things in my current life that I believe are futile—feeling trapped in a long-term, overall unhealthy and unhappy relationship, and feeling powerless to meet my needs, wants, and desires due to the deeply ingrained belief of not having access to enough money.
And as you mentioned within this video, they’re both related to childhood—mostly feeling trapped in a very abusive relationship with my mother, a nearly absent relationship with my adopted father, and often being told by both that we don’t have enough money for whatever.
This past week, I broke into hives from the bottom of my neck to the top of my head—something that happens once every decade or so, though to the full degree (from head to toe).
I wondered if this was my body signaling to me that the new job I recently started is not a good match for me—and the increasing transparency that my spouse isn’t as well—though the pay is much more than my previous one at an athletic club and spa at Bell Rock Sedona.
Sure enough, things got much worse yesterday. I got into an argument with my husband (which isn’t uncommon), and I felt SO ANGRY before heading to work, which was only my second day there.
Before, during, and after my shift, I was informed by both my Assistant Manager and Director that I looked too serious, and that I needed to smile A LOT more, so much so that my cheeks needed to hurt at the end of the day.
This was completely understandable from their point of views since they’re running a business (a high-end art gallery) where it’s very important to appear very happy and friendly to customers (like being on stage they said). I was able to smile and be friendly in front of customers, but it was difficult to keep a non-stop smile on my face throughout the entire shift.
I felt like I just wanted to die yesterday (to include last night, where I was fantasizing about the exact details of setting myself free); but thanks to your explanation—about how others wanting a depressed person to simply feel better is a lot of pressure—I no longer feel as though something’s wrong with me.
I choose to face what’s futile—that I’ll never be happy in my main, current relationship, and I may never win the lottery to receive a sudden flow of monetary abundance (in order to start a new life and reinvent myself).
I can empower myself with baby steps by simply saving aside some money with whatever job (or whatever else I’m drawn to Be and do), and eventually buy another car, get my own place, and have enough money to initiate a divorce (hopefully somewhat peacefully, but no longer a necessary ingredient).
Though I could make and save money faster another route, I turned down contractor jobs for the military—that pays 80K + bonus (where they also pay for your clearance)—because I no longer desire to be in such environments where WAR is the main focus. I also don’t care to have certain men in higher positions within the military (or connected to the military) just wanting sex with me, and when I turn them down, they subtly make my life a living hell.
I don’t have any help from family or friends, so I will trust that the seemingly separate, yet, unified, interconnected parts of my whole self will reunite and integrate, and work as a team in Divine perfect timing and order.
I think I completely lost faith in the unlimited power of my so-called Higher Self/Source/God-Self/Goddess-Self/Soul/Spirit/Universe/etc. within, but we’ll see.
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