The following paragraph is a section from the previous post, “Balancing Human Compassion with Spirit’s Pure Compassion,” and is used as an intro (click on image right below to see credit):
The insights I gained from creating this post has helped to me experience more inner-peace when it comes to this topic of human compassion vs Spirit’s Pure Compassion.
After leaving my last, eighth job in Sedona, I felt guilty for a while for sharing some truths—to the owner of the company who needed to finally know— that caused our manager to be fired the next day (some stories shared in recent Sedona post series).
The part that concerned me the most for a while, was that this manager is a single parent who has an autistic teenage son.
This was one of the main reasons why I had tolerated her habitual, negative words, actions, and behaviors for five months.
And during those months, I even convinced a coworker not to complain to the owner about the manager, and then later convinced the owner (twice) not to fire the manager.
However, like this manager even said once, she realizes that she really needs to work on herself.
She said she used to be a major, mean bitch to a lot of people since high school—due to her mother being an abusive narcissist since early childhood (though mine was too)—so she believes the Universe gave her some life lessons.
First, it gifted her with the experience of her first son having severe ADHD, so that she would learn more understanding, patience and kindness (as a single parent).
And she continued that when she still didn’t learn much, the Universe gifted her with an autistic, second child (as a single parent); and she went through some very rough challenges, though his condition wasn’t the severe version (thankfully).
After leaving the Army life in 2011—and then taking a long, well-deserved break, since my average day was from 4 a.m.-7 p.m.—I briefly worked as an assistant teacher at a preschool in Texas from fall of 2012 to spring of 2013.
And one of the children who stopped by in the afternoons, after his school for autistic kids, had extreme autism.
He wasn’t able to talk at all, though he communicated in other ways, to include making sounds and nonverbal gestures.
And though he had his sweet and calm moments, it was very challenging whenever he used to go into certain modes—especially when we didn’t allow him to climb up things (like cubby areas)—to include suddenly screaming, shaking his arms around in a frustrated manner, throwing things (like toys and chairs), etc.
When we addressed these issues to his main teacher (from the school for autistic kids), she surprisingly told us that we needed to be really stern with him, and not walk on eggshells around him just because he’s autistic.
She was a big-boned woman, who appeared to be a little over 6 feet tall, and she was like a Marine Corps drill sergeant around him—though she also expressed much love—and it worked like magic.
Whenever she stopped by, he immediately transformed into a very well behaved boy, which shocked all the teachers at the preschool, to include the Director.
I passed this information onto his mother—who was like a gentle, kind soul, but with unhealthy boundaries and too much human compassion—because she told us that he wants to mostly eat McDonald’s chicken fingers, basically every day, so she lets him.
I shared with her that it’s not good for him to often eat fast food, especially in his condition, and that if he gets hungry enough, he won’t refuse other types of food that are beneficial for him.
I also added that we—her, her husband, and all the teachers—all needed to be on the same sheet of music and do teamwork, since her son needs things to be routine and consistent.
Therefore, I asked her to no longer allow her son to climb up on furniture and jump off of them at home, since:
- it can be very dangerous to him (he can end up injuring his head or breaking a limb)
- if he’s allowed to do so at home, he won’t understand why he’s not allowed to at school
- it’s negatively affecting the safety of other children, since he throws a fit, and literally throw things when he doesn’t get his way.
She said she understood, and agreed to do so.
I trust the benefits that came with the boy’s teacher incorporating aggressive energy into her whole self, as well as the mother integrating assertive energy into her whole self,.
This is an example of when the neutral energy aspect called “aggressive”—that’s often misused and abused; hence, labeled as wrong, negative, bad, and even evil—can be used in a beneficial way, as long as the reasons stem from unconditional love.
I shared some other example stories within this blog, though I don’t recall which ones at this moment
By the way, I recently went to Flagstaff with my husband, and while getting my eye glasses fixed, I overheard an older gentleman (a customer as well) talking to one of the employees about a topic that captured my attention.
I silently thanked Spirit for such uplifting news. When I worked at the preschool, and at another daycare later, I deeply wished that the children had better quality food.
At the second daycare, though I started out working in the preschool class and three-year old class (like the first learning center), I ended up being a floater to all the classes—infants, toddlers, and up.
After a couple of weeks, I ended up memorizing all of the children’s names, in the entire center, since I noticed that many love being remembered.
One day, while about to feed one of the toddlers, I felt sad as I looked at the meatball stew mixed with rice that had a lot of grease floating on top of it; but that was part of the set menu (most of which were very unhealthy daily).
Though I enjoyed being around the children of various ages–-even the 3 year old class of 13, that was often chaotic and extremely challenging—I couldn’t bare to stay at a place that didn’t sit well with my heart.
This was mostly due to the owner and certain teachers who made it obvious they didn’t even like non-related, American children (let alone love them).
The owner once pulled me over to the side, and ordered me to no longer acknowledge all the kids who often waved and shouted, “Hi Ms. Bobbie!” to me as I was moving from one class to another.
She said it was distracting for them, though that large group (towards the end of the day) were just waiting for their parents to pick them up while they were watching cartoons on the big screen TV (which I reminded her).
I later realized that she just didn’t like the fact that the kids didn’t greet her with excitement.
However, this was understandable, since she— like the Director and certain other teachers—was very nice to them in front of their parents, but didn’t show much interest whenever they weren’t around.
Kids are smart, so they know.
Update (in this light yellow paragraph only) inserted on 3/27/20: While organizing some online folders, I came upon something I had forgotten about. Before I left this preschool and daycare center, I wrote the owner a nine page letter.
Looking back, both of the preschools (plus daycare centers) were named after words relating to spirituality—mustard seed [trust/faith] and little cherubs [angelic realm]—and though I was only there for a brief time, I’m very proud of self for sharing with the children much unconditional love.
This included: full presence, active listening, hugs, comfort, encouragements, a lot of humor, upliftment, empowerment, inspiration, introduction to fun Barney songs, silly dance moves, bigger picture perspectives, analogies, helpful true stories, embracing of their unique selves, true friendship, reading, teamwork, sharing, art, surprise treats, home-made graduation gifts, etc.
The majority of society—due to the conditioned state of poverty consciousness—often believe that quantity is better than quality (to include how long one worked at a company); but I now know that this isn’t necessarily true.
Because there’s no value or price tag for the generous sharing of Unconditional/True Love.
Anyway, so I was so happy to hear of an organization who made my wish come true.
In a nutshell, this gentleman works for Revolution Foods (<=click link for more info), who provides schools with healthier, better quality food options.
I initiated a conversation with him, and thanked him for being an invaluable gift to humanity and beyond.
I somewhat digressed, but not really, since the topics are children and autism.
Shortly after Christmas of last year, our manager brought her teenage, autistic son into work, since he was off from school.
I enjoyed his overall quiet and well-manner presence that day, though he did shout out some phrases several times while playing his handheld video game (which we all thought was funny, and our manager even warned him that she would take his game away if he didn’t settle down).
Throughout that day, our manager often cursed while saying and doing what she does on a daily basis.
When she first started cursing out loud, in front of her son, I gave her the uncomfortable look—to which another coworker smirked at—and she reassured me that she always curses in front of him, and that she wants to teach him what’s real in life.
At one point, in the middle of the day, her son gently asked in a disappointing tone, “What are you complaining about now?”
It then occurred to me that she’s habitually negative, even around her son, and I felt sad for him; he deserves better (like all children and adults).
Towards the end of that day, when it was only the manager, her son, and I left, she said something that was even surprising for her low standards.
As usual, she started talking really bad about whoever wasn’t there; and I’ve learned over a few attempts, that trying to change the topic, or stopping her from complaining, was like adding gallons of fuel to the MEGA bonfire of HELL.
In the middle of her bitching about our main scheduler (who she hung out with)—whom I shared some stories about in the recent Sedona post series—she shouted, “C______ can eat d!<k!”
I whispered to her that I get her cursing in front of her son—since a lot of us grew up with parents who cursed behind closed doors—but she went too far with what she just said, and her son didn’t need to hear that; she just rolled her eyes as usual.
Since then, I wondered if her son would be better off being raised by someone other than our manager, though she did have her strengths, to include her often doing creative and fun activities with her son, and loving him the best way she knew how.
But I have no doubt now that this company (mainly the owner), brought out the worst in her.
She often complained about the owner’s negative qualities, and how bad the owner treats her.
In my last text message to the owner—the day after I walked out of that company—I informed her something to the effect of: the manager’s been so tired of all the owner’s shit over the years, and that I’ve heard plenty of stories that made her anger valid; and that even a so-called felon doesn’t deserve to be treated in those ways (to include being frequently yelled at).
I also told the owner that despite previous employees (before me) complaining to her and her husband about how negative the manager is before quitting, she still chose to do nothing.
Even the former, main scheduler (and older lady)—who worked there for five years—sent the owner and email a while back, informing her that the manager has a tendency to say some unbelievable things; but the owner apparently brushed her off.
I continued to let the owner know that even though she recently decided to have two staff meetings about everyone making the work environment more positive, in order to increase sales, it made things much worse because she tried to turn everyone against each other during the one-on-one, interrogation-like talks.
The owner replied to never contact her and her staff again, so I gladly deleted all their numbers from my phone.
Shortly before I left, the other coworkers and I agreed that we all strongly sensed the owner treated our manager with a lack of respect because she used the manager’s past background against her.
It was as if her and her husband’s attitude toward our manager was, “It’s not like you can get another job with your record, so you’re just gonna have to put with whatever crap we dish out to you.”
Granted, to be fair, the charge and earthly label “felon” seemed to have been twisted and exaggerated by the press, when the manager was only trying to help another woman.
Shortly after the holidays last year, our manager shared with our office staff that she was so stressed out, that she’s even been considering moving to a certain big city in Arizona (with her son), getting a cheaper apartment, and just working at McDonalds or something, rather than continue to put up with the owner’s shit.
At that moment, my heart went out to her, despite her often being a major pain in the ass to everyone.
I wished I was a multi-millionaire; because I would anonymously buy her a food truck so that she could start her own business.
I said anonymously, we because once, when an unknown stranger fully paid for her court fees—through a link that she had set up asking for help—she became emotional and later said, “I guess I can’t talk bad about anyone from that bar anymore.”
One of the coworkers was very frustrated with what the manager said, and understandably so, because why would she only be willing to not talk bad about someone because they helped her.
During this challenging time, I offered her the best help that I was able to give at the time.
I handed her my diamond ring, along with my husband’s wedding band (that he agreed to), so that she could take it to the pawn shop and get some money for the court fees.
She was reluctant to take it, so I convinced her that they were ultimately, just rings, and the material objects don’t define the happiness of a marriage.
I suggested she hold onto to them just in case they help; granted, she later told me (with somewhat teary eyes) that she just couldn’t use them, but thanked us.
The night before she received the anonymous donation, my husband actually told me that he was willing to lend my manager a little over a couple thousand dollars (from his bank account), so that she could pay off her court fees (rather than end up in prison).
I thanked him, and told him that it was a great idea that it didn’t come from me (so that it wouldn’t be awkward since she was my manager).
I prayed to Spirit within to give me guidance, and I then suggested to my husband for us to wait one more day.
And sure enough, my manager received the anonymous donation the next morning—fully paying off her debt—from a stranger from a bar that she hung out at in Cottonwood. We were all so happy for her.
So if she were to receive to an anonymous food truck gift one day, perhaps she’ll decide to just be kind to many more people (starting to herself) since it won’t be from a certain localized place.
We had briefly talked about the food truck idea before, when I asked her what she was passionate about, and what type of work would actually excite her.
Since she didn’t have any dreams (due to her limiting background), I informed her that it’s just an earthly label, and that it doesn’t define her whole, true self.
I also suggested creating a food truck, since she’s known to be a gourmet chef-like cook to our office staff (one of her great strengths).
She became a little excited, and then mentioned that she had thought about it before, and that she would like to make Kansas City style ribs (which does taste really good; she made some for a former coworker’s retirement party a while back).
I told her it was a great idea, and that she could do an awesome job.
I trust that this dream—like any of our dreams—is not impossible, and can be one of many probable realities.
She just needs to match her vibrational frequency to the high vibrational frequency of that reality (like the rest of us could benefit form doing as well).
Though a part of me felt guilty for getting our manager fired, another part of me intuitively knew that it was for the best for everyone involved (to include her son), since the manager had been a mostly negative, major problem for over four years, though no one wanted to say or do anything due to fear of retribution.
And another coworker—who’s also been there for over four years—brought up a great reminder prior to that day.
She said something to the effect that perhaps it’s time for our manager to finally learn her own life lessons, and we needed to discontinue trying to help her every time she shared a drama in her life.
I’ve thanked the Universe (ahead of time) for ensuring that the manager and her son experience a better life, and I trust that whatever she/we experienced, and continues to experience, will ultimately be for her and her soul’s highest benefit, along with the highest benefit of interconnected Life within this world and beyond.
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