The following section is a brief intro from Part I:
As humans, we often easily find fault in others for many reasons, and then place them into categories, but how often do we look for the so-called “good” in others as an overall, whole soul/person?
For instance, in the comedy TV shows, The Big Bang Theory and Frasier, both characters Sheldon and Frasier himself can be considered unacceptable by society—especially if they were real-life people—due to being narcissistic (Sheldon) and having an over inflated ego (Frasier).
And there are times when it is very challenging to like them despite the shows (more of the latter) having stimulating dialogue, interesting characters, good to great themes, the incorporation of wisdom, as well as being witty and hilarious.
However, I noticed that when I’m reminded of why they’re narcissistic and super ego-inflated at times—having been very different throughout childhood and not feeling unconditionally accepted by society—-then I’m able to feel compassion for them.
I trust that whether it’s the fictional characters in shows like these, or actual, real-life people, the more they experience unconditional acceptance/love for themselves and from interconnected others—while others also maintain healthy boundaries for themselves— the less they’ll have a need to be very selfish and lacking self-esteem.
In addition, there are also aspects of Sheldon and Frasier (among others like Wolowitz and Niles), that are very loving and lovable, and everything in-between.
Granted, they’re TV shows, but they seem to be overall exaggerated versions of humanity (that also represent some people pretty accurately) in order to prove many points that humans may not be aware of at all.
Note: Images above found next to links => 1) Pinterest 2) Stand Alone (thank you all)
The following is a related story that helped me to expand my consciousness:
For instance, I’ve experienced more than enough times throughout my adult life what I thought was genuine kindness, only to discover that it was conditional kindness.
However, I have a feeling most of the people who were like that weren’t even aware that their behavior and actions were far from loving.
I once knew a lady (I’ll name her Minny) who was very insistent about her recruitment tactics. I had met her through her older sister-in-law (I’ll name her Gahna) whom my husband and I befriended after helping her out with her family restaurant website.
Minny even tried to convince me that if I truly believed in God, I would realize that by attending her church, and even working there part-time (for their website), I would be doing God’s work.
I politely declined, but she was very persistent. She even went as far to manipulate me into discontinuing what I enjoy doing—writing.
She told me that she was concerned about her tween son being overly sensitive, and that he might end up as a writer like me.
There was a part of me that wanted to provide clarity to the topic, but I realized that Minny’s words stemmed from her individual and collective, ingrained belief.
Koreans in general (not all) look down upon writers as a career, like many other people throughout the world; it’s more than likely equated to being a “starving” artist.
I also realized later that she was merely mirroring back to me remnants of my own outdated belief that being a writer isn’t considered a career (especially if you’re not famous and/or making money, let alone mucho dinero).
At one point, Minny said, “Give me those shoes,” referring to the white sandals that I was wearing (that I loved). Since she had agreed to sell us her used car for $200 less than her asking price, I felt that it was the least I could do.
I even gave her an extra pair of black sandals that my mother had bought me a while back, since they were gorgeous, and were only worn a few times due to being slightly loose on me (I wear 4.5 for sandals and 5 for other shoes).
It made me happy to see her face light up when she received them; she was surprised because she had only expected the white sandals. At that precious moment, she reminded me of a child on Christmas.
On late evening, while my husband and I hung out with Gahna and her husband at their restaurant, Minny came by.
She had quite a bit to drink, and Gahna was scolding her like a mother to her teenage daughter. Minny just listened most of the time with her sad expression, while making comments masked with humor at her own expense.
It’s Korean custom to just take what an older person says, so it was understandable that Minny allowed Gahna to go on and on and on.
At one point, I interjected in a joking manner something to the effect, “Things like this happen. I know I had my days where I had one too many drinks due to stress. But I definitely wouldn’t driving drunk anymore. It’s not because you’re luck of not being pulled over might run out, but because you can actually hurt yourself and/or others. ”
To my great surprise, Gahna’s nagging vanished like air; she just calmly nodded her head like a wise woman. Minny smiled for the first time that night, turned to Gahna and said, “Doesn’t she have a pretty nose?” (referring to mine).
Gahna agreed, and I thanked them. I appreciated Minny sharing such a compliment, because I had never heard anyone say that before.
My mother sometimes reminded me throughout childhood that I should never get a nose job—though getting my small eyes fixed was okay—since a pig nose is considered fortunate in Korea.
As a became a teenager, overflowing with sarcasm, I was like (silently of course), “Gee, thanks ma” whenever she made such supportive comments, to include, “Why is your forehead so much darker than the rest of your face?” or “Yeah, you should put make-up on every day.”
From a limited, physical mind perspective, I had perceived myself throughout my life as a helpless victim to my mother’s insensitivity.
However, as an adult (especially in my forties), I’ve learned (as a human)/remembered (as a soul) to expand my perspective and Be a Victor of my own life.
When I see the bigger picture, I trust that my mother being that specific aspect her herself, was due to her own unsupportive upbringing, as well as ingrained, false beliefs passed down from unaware generation to generation.
When I expand my consciousness even further, I realize that, ultimately, my soul chose to have this Earth mother perfect for my soul growth and evolution, so that I can eventually learn (as a human) to unconditionally accept/love all aspects of self, regardless if I didn’t have unaware biological parents and an unaware adoptive parent who did—parents being the foundation of all other relationships in our lives.
It was apparent that Minny was suffering inside, though she didn’t talk about it. I wanted to help alleviate her heartache—whatever it stemmed from—but I intuitively knew to do so when she was ready.
Soon after that gathering, I felt like baking Minny and her family some home-made, chocolate chip, butterscotch, and white chocolate chip cookies, since she had mentioned that her son loves snacks.
My husband and I dropped a gallon size bag, along with some coffee (that Minny likes), to her beauty shop. Gahna later told me her and her husband enjoyed them.
Sometime later, Gahna craved for some Vietnamese pho, so her, Minny, my husband and I went to our favorite pho restaurant, where the two brother waiters are very personable and professional.
While waiting for our food to arrive, a conversation started. Mini started confidently talking about the bible and shared a paraphrased Jesus quote.
I don’t recall what I replied verbatim, but I said something to the effect that various teachings throughout the world can’t replace the actual living of the words of wisdom.
To my great surprise, Minny’s demeanor changed, and she gently nodded her head and agreed.
One day, Minny invited my husband and I to go out to dinner with her and her husband. Soon afterwards, she asked me one more time to reconsider the church job offer. When I declined yet again, she cancelled our dinner plans.
I never saw Minny again, and that’s been perfectly okay. Although I did convince myself at the time that I don’t miss her at all, there are actually aspects of her that I still like, to include her punk-ass like attitude and demeanor (in an amusing way), her ability to play pool very well (according to Gahna), being straight-up with her expressions, and her moments of genuine kindness.
I initially judged her demand for my shoes as somewhat rude and selfish, though a part of me saw her as her inner-child who expressed what she liked and wanted.
But now I admire her willingness to straight-up ask for what she really wants, rather than be reticent (had to look up: redəsənt/adjective: not revealing one’s thoughts or feelings readily), beat around the bush, or not even express herself due to society-conditioned politeness.
In addition, had it not been for the used car that Minny sold us, my husband would not have shared with me an intriguing pattern that he noticed in our lives when it comes to cars that we’ve had in the past and present. I didn’t even recognize those signs that were right in my face at times.
Since 2008, we had four car accidents where our cars got totaled (shared within this blog).
I was driving a Mitsubishi Eclipse at the time of my first major accident (that I only had for a few months), the second one happened while my husband was driving my Saturn Neon, and the last two occurred while my husband was driving my two different (yet same) green Mazda3’s, which apparently has to do with God Enki (I found out later) according to in5d—“Another name for Enki and his line”—in, “Anunnaki Message? The Crop Circle Ea Enki, Nibiru and Marduk“).
If I recall correctly, I once read that the planet Mercury used to be God Enki’s, which is are current car (Mercury Sable).
In addition to this bizarre pattern, I once had a vivid dream of a flash image of a white truck with the name Thoth on the hood (that I also recorded in the blog). Strangely, the two vehicles that caused our two different Mazda3’s to get totaled were white trucks.
One hit a cow crossing our neighborhood field, which then flew and landed onto our car—yes, I had to read my husband’s text message twice—and the other rushed out of a gas station like a bat out of hell.
I have a hunch to what this is all about, but I trust that one day, it will all come together in Divine perfect timing and order like cosmic puzzle pieces.
Here are other reasons why I absolutely LOVE interconnected series of Divine synchronicity.
Gahna (Minny’s sister-in-law) had actually requested for Minny to give us the discount on the used car since our car had broken down soon after we had completed Gahna’s new website.
Rewind: Prior to even going to Gahna’s restaurant for the first time, I had a strong desire to check out the place, though there were other Korean restaurants that were closer to our house, and even less expensive for a particular dish I was strongly craving for (soondae/Korean blood sausage, which is way better tasting that it sounds or looks).
When I arrived there, I soon found out that Gahna (a lady probably in her late fifties or early sixties) was the waitress/prep person/cook/financial manager, and the husband helped out with the dishes, cooking meats, and occasionally waiting tables.
I think my husband and I were the only customers there at one point, and though Gahna seemed very quiet, a conversation began shortly after our first encounter.
I mentioned to her that their old website didn’t have a menu, and that these days, it would be beneficial to their business if they had one.
Now, I normally don’t go around suggesting to any members of a restaurant staff to update their websites, but I thought I’d hook an asian sista from anotha mista up; plus, she was much older, and I had a gut feeling she wasn’t exactly web savvy.
Sure enough, when I shared some ideas, Gahna transformed to a very excited, chatty lady, and a relationship was formed.
After hearing her stories—to include her and her husband going through major financial issues—my heart went out to her.
My husband and I offered to help her create a new website for free—that actually had a link for a menu—and all she had to do was pay her small annual fee to the web service provider.
While my husband and I were working on her website, something unexpected happened. I received an urgent phone call from Gahna one day asking me if she could stay with us for a few days or so due to personal issues with her husband.
I told her that it was more than likely not a problem, but that I wanted to talk it over with my husband first since we make decisions that affect both of us together.
Moments later, my husband and I agreed to have her temporarily stay with us since we had two extra rooms at the time (at our old house).
Gahna thanked me, and said she was so relieved to have someone that she could turn to, and I informed her that it was our pleasure to help her.
However, she ended up changing her mind soon afterwards, and decided to stay with Minny instead for a couple of days. A week or so later is when our car broke down.
When Gahna asked if I could stop by the restaurant to hang out, I explained to her what had happened, and that we had planned on stopping by in a rental car one day to further explain the website operating details.
To my great surprise, Minny called me one day (the first time we talked), and asked, “I heard you could use a car” in a somewhat punk-ass sounding tone.
After a brief discussion, I informed her that we were $200 short her asking price. Minny then replied, “You know what my sister-in-law [Gahna] just did to me? She nudged my arm with a wink, and said in a gentle, lovey dovey tone, ‘C’mon, do me a favor and give them a discount, they’ve been really good to me.’ If it wasn’t for her, I would be adamant about the full price. The car’s in great condition you know.”
Side Note: My husband had informed me that it usually costs around $2000+ to have a nice website created, but I never brought this up to Gahna because it wasn’t necessary. Even though Minny thought she was a doing us a great service by not charging us the extra $200, she didn’t bother to consider how much it could cost, and how much time it takes, to create a website from scratch. I would’ve told her, but I didn’t want Gahna to feel as though she was indebted to us. In addition, after purchasing the used car, we found out that the right, back window only rolls a quarter a way down, and the AC takes about an hour to kick in warm-cool air, but we didn’t bring it up to her or Gahna. We chose to feel grateful that we no longer had to walk six to eight miles to the nearest grocery store during scorching hot and humid weather.
We thanked Gahna and picked up some of her favorite, antioxidant-filled, fresh blueberries on our way to visit her one day.
When she shared with me that her feet hurt one day, I gave her the feet massager set I had since the time of Army life and reminded her to place the lavender salt crystals into the tub of warm-hot water.
Gahna also built jung (Korean word)/friendship—I like to call it soul-bonding—by insisting that we take her big tub of home-made kimchi.
In order to attract more business, I shared an idea with Gahna and her husband, and they thought it was great. I wrote to several local food bloggers and invited them to come to a free luncheon, where they could taste various Korean dishes.
I also asked if they could write a review for the restaurant if they had a pleasant experience and felt like doing so. If I recall correctly, three out of five showed up, and it went well.
Once, when my husband’s former clients (who became our friends) were PCSing (moving to another Air Force unit), we treated them, and two sets of their friends and family, to a farewell party at Gahna’s restaurant.
It worked out for everyone since our friends hadn’t tried various types of Korean food before, and Gahna and her husband were able to make some good money that day (to include a big tip), as well as treat us to their generosity.
Our friendship seemed to flourish with much love and joy. We even treated one another to lunch at other restaurants a couple of times, had interesting conversations, smiled and laughed a lot, and shared personal stories.
Gahna also invited my husband and I to join her annual, summer, family picnic, where they (to include Minny and her family) all hang out near a a body of water, drink beer, and make Korean BBQ.
We really looked forward to it, but unfortunately, it didn’t work out.
When I started noticing that she would excessively complain whether she didn’t have customers, or she did have customers—some of whom came to the restaurant after checking out the new website—I had a feeling that she was creating her own downfall.
Once, when she was annoyed with a Middle Eastern appearing customer who always orders a small meal by himself, I reminded her that at least there’s a regular customer sitting in her restaurant enjoying her food; she gently agreed.
I talked to her about my observations of her habitual negative thinking in the most honest and loving way, and to my surprise, she gently agreed with me.
I then shared with her the power of one’s thoughts, that it’s been scientifically proven (measuring brain waves, and the manner in which crystals take form), and that I, too, was working on it.
In addition, I shared how our thoughts affects our feelings, how our feelings affect what we experience in our reality, and poverty consciousness vs prosperity consciousness to the best of my ability (though I’m obviously far from being an expert).
Slowly but surely, she started sharing with me her positive thoughts, although she would go back to her old, ingrained habits of being pessimistic again.
I understand that it’s not easy to let go of unhealthy habits that no longer benefit us; however, I believe it’s definitely worth integrating into our lives.
This doesn’t mean we should be unreasonably positive 24/7, avoiding our full range of true feelings and emotions, but rather, that we can Be authentic self, honoring and fully being with all of our feelings (language of the soul), while still introducing to self expanded perspectives that help us to feel better.
I eventually realized that no amount of help or positive situations would satisfy her void—-something that she believed was outside of her (money), but was actually within her (her soul’s deep yearning to unconditionally accept/love herself and interconnected others).
I had started a draft a while back, which I titled, “Poverty Consciousness Looking Back at Me,” and I extracted some of its writing into this post.
Thanks to this experience, old and outdated beliefs like “hard work equals earning enough to lots of money” got shot to hell.
In a nutshell, Gahna worked 16 hours a day with one day off a month, and her financial situation (to include a butt-load of bills) kept spiraling downhill.
I even offered to help her as a waitress since I had experiences in my late teens and early twenties, but she refused.
Note: Image on right above found next to link => Bold Beautiful Blissful U (thank you)
Though I lent her $100 once, when she tried to convince me to lend her $500 instead, I had to draw some healthy boundaries. I suppose persistence ran in the family, though Minny and Gahna weren’t blood-related.
I told Gahna if I had the money to lend her, I would be more than happy to, but that I had other priorities in my life, to include our own bills, budget, and my daughter’s upcoming birthday.
I felt really bad at first that I couldn’t help out this overall nice lady, who just seemed like she could use a break in life.
However, I had to let go of the unhealthy relationship, because I had been down that road before—specifically, being in a friendship where there was a major gambling problem that I couldn’t help out with no matter what I did—in the post series that includes, “Choosing To Be My Own Best Friend.”
I even learned to eventually let go of the guilt, which took a long while to release because we, as humanity within this world, have been conditioned throughout human history (especially by religions) to always GIVE GIVE GIVE to others and sacrifice self, while neglecting the well-being of the self/soul/Spirit within.
Unconditional love is about balance and harmony, the ebb and flow of life, not a playground seesaw that’s always leaned to one side.
I didn’t learn my lesson until the a couple of months or so after I ended the unhealthy relationships. Regardless of how hard Gahna worked, she drew to herself more, back-to-back financial issues, to include back-logged taxes that showed up suddenly.
In addition to that, I trust that her habitual negative thinking, spoken words, and even actions caused her to tune into even more earthly dramas that matched her low/dense vibrational frequency.
This included her oldest son no longer wanting to be part of the family business, her youngest brother’s spreading of cancer, her husband getting into a major car accident, etc.
At one point, I felt so drained from being around her. Although a part of me wanted to help her, there was another part of me who reminded me to have compassion for myself as well.
For me to continually be engulfed with so much of her negative energies, and to basically encourage Gahna’s victim mentality by always helping her, wasn’t beneficial to either one of us.
When I expand my perspective, I realize that Gahna was ultimately mirroring back to me my own positive/love-based energies, as well as remnants of my negative/fear-based energies, to include lack of faith and trust in self/soul/Spirit within, and unhealed lower three chakras (the foundation)—where the energies of safety, security, belonging, financial stability, creativity, sensuality, willingness to flow with life, self-worth, self-confidence, inner-power, and much more exist.
The following quote from the reading, Masculine and Feminine Side, helped me to better understand how I can balance my masculine and feminine energies:
“The masculine side deals with the strength of the self. It is what causes you to act either timidly or self-confidently. The thing that is most important in determining the strength of the masculine side, is the value that you, at a deep level, place on yourself […]
If you have a strong feminine side and place a high value on others, you are often giving and unselfish. You usually know what is good for people, and you tend to operate in ways that helps others get what they want out of life. You happily let people operate their own life without interference from you, but when asked, you are also willing to help by supporting, cooperating, and giving advice […]
If you have a strong feminine side, you often behave in ways that are considered feminine in nature. You do things that you have to be giving and unselfish in order to do. This includes recognizing people’s basic human rights and allowing them to operate their life without interfering with those rights. For example, allowing them the freedom to operate independently, and the freedom to fit into society wherever and however they want, even the freedom to let people choose when to face up to reality and when to be in denial. Allowing people their basic rights includes letting them control their own life, letting them choose what to believe without being manipulated by you and letting them choose their own path or direction in life without hindrance from you […]“
I now realize that Prosperity Consciousness is truly about…
following our heart’s guidance…
being on a path that we get excited and passionate about…
often doing what highly resonates with us…
being confident that every step or leap we take in life is a stepping stone of success to our individual and collective soul growth and evolution…
being grateful and appreciative for all the blessings (and blessings in disguise) that we’ve had in the past, and continue to have in the present, even the seemingly small things that we may take for granted at times…
and last but not least…unconditionally embracing more and more aspects of ourselves (and interconnected Life), until one miraculous and magical moment, we completely fall in love with ourselves at the deepest level of our being (since True Love starts from within).
I trust this will enable us to experience and see our outer world in a whole, new way…like Heaven on Earth that it is.
From this point on, it is my intention to simply have pure compassion for interconnected others who are learning their own life lessons (as a soul), on their unique paths, in Divine perfect timing and order.
I’ve realized that helping another at times is great, but it’s not beneficial for anyone to feel the need to “rescue” others.
Becoming a permanent crutch for others prevents them from discovering their own heart’s desires, inner-strength, courage, and power to change their lives for the better, among many other aspects, abilities, skills, and talents of the multidimensional soul/Spirit within.
I now trust Spirit that all is well in everyone’s life despite outer appearances.
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