Some of the contents of this post was initially an UPDATE to yesterday’s post, “An Epiphany, Insights & Solutions For Emotionally Triggering Challenges.“
But when I felt intuitively guided to turn it into its own post, I did a quick search within this blog to double check, and sure enough, I found a related draft post from 2018 (under one of the subtitles below).
It also contained some helpful information that I forgot about, so it all worked out in Divine perfect timing and order; I also received NEW insights as well, shared under another subtitle right below it.
Image by 愚木混株 Cdd20 from Pixabay
The Excessive Talker & The Overly Active Listener
If you’re like, “I haven’t experienced others triggering me in these [or other] particular ways”—which is different from Being AWARE that one no longer gets triggered by others from many colorful Life experiences (like an Ascended Master mentioned above)—then like a lot of comedians share, YOU may be the one habitually TRIGGERING others. 😉
FOR example: A habitually, excessively and seemingly CLUELESS, chatty person may say, “Yeah, I don’t recall ever running into any, super chatty people.”
Is that so? Well, THAT’S because YOUR 100 mph, non-stop yapping, 5 hour-long talking, inconsiderate @$$ (ass) DON’T give others a freakin’ chance to speak. You don’t seem to give a rat’s @$$ whether others are attempting to get a word in, whether they’re: zoning out, nodding off, doing the pee pee dance, whether their stomachs are growling, whether their ears are falling off, etc.. YOU just go ON AND ON AND ON, like an ENERGIZER BUNNY ON CRACK, completely oblivious to your surroundings. Then you wonder why people quickly or eventually FEEL SO DRAINED by your @$$ and avoid you.”
I admit, like many other NEUTRAL aspects, I’ve experienced being the above before as well, but mostly via written form, like LONG@$$ blog posts and comments Lol, which I’ve become more cognizant of lately, and TONED IT DOWN to give others a freakin’ break.
Granted, it’s mostly via comments shared, since no one has to read this blog if they don’t feel like it; this is simply one of my sacred spaces for full and free creative expressions that provide me with deep healing and transformation on all energetic levels—mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual—and I share it publically just in case it helps anyone else (though ultimately, what helps the self helps others, and vice versa, since we’re all interconnected, as quantum physics supports).
And I’ve also experienced milder degrees of this unhealthy, one-way method of communication within this lifetime, though I’ve habitually been the excessive, active listener since childhood (the pendulum swing to the EXTREME OPPOSITE end of the full spectrum).
And I’ve learned from this “SUPER CHATTY” neutral aspect (a blessing in disguise) that kept showing up via different people at various locations.
This particular, unknown/shadow aspect was trying to get my attention, basically SHOUTING, “Oh you wanna keep SUPPRESSING me?! I got something for you. I’ll just keep SHOWING UP as others until you finally SEE/HEAR/FEEL me, and integrate me into WHOLE self/Self, or I WILL talk you to DEATH!!! Love you!” ^_^
In other words, the repeating, AMPLIFIED, neon sign-like messages, was to gracefully embrace, integrate, and transform these EXTREME, POLARIZED aspects within (super chatty vs non-expressive).
How? By harmoniously balancing talk with active listening skills, like a Cosmic Dance, rather than either party being overly dominant in a non-beneficial way.
It’s NOT about having a one-sided communication, since the purpose of a RELATIONSHIP is to be like two hands holding, clapping, high-fiving, and other ebb and flow like, love-based energies.
In addition, we may become excessively chatty as adults if we hardly expressed ourselves during childhood (let alone fully and freely), to include sharing our inner truths, like our needs, wants, thoughts, feelings, preferences, opinions, beliefs, etc..
Personally, one of the things that I learned about my mother growing up, is that she strongly disapproved of (and even ridiculed) very talkative people, and understandably so, from one perspective, since it can be draining.
So looking back, I have no doubt that one of the beliefs that I automatically adopted was NOT to be what my mother—main caregiver since adoptive dad often went on “business” trips (aka decade-long affair with young mistress, later turned 3rd wife)—deemed “unacceptable” and “unlovable.”
Therefore, like the rest of children within humanity, whose survival instincts kicked in, I unknowingly repressed “negative” frowned-upon aspects that didn’t get the APPROVAL STAMP.
And like the rest of adults within humanity, I continued to suppress these unknown/shadow aspects throughout adulthood UNTIL… I started WAKING UP, thanks to the 11:11 Phenomenon experience (aka WAKE UP CALL/DNA activation for our Souls) in 2011, after Army life, that many others had experienced as well.
If you’re like me, who was a mostly active listener—or an overly active listener at times, that can eventually lead to resentment if the excessive talker is TOO MUCH—then you may make up for this in other areas of your life (in my case, it’s been through writing posts and often sharing comments and reviews, though I discontinued the latter overall).
However COMMA playing the fear-based, duality, blame game of “This is right vs wrong, good vs bad, light vs dark, etc.”—rather than taking back our inner power and choosing to Unconditionally Love our WHOLE selves/Selves, to include developing and maintaining healthy boundaries—will only lead to REPEATING VICIOUS CYCLES of the “same shit different person, situation, location, etc.,” which can feel like a nightmare Ground Hog Day.
If you feel like it, you can later check out this blog’s category page “Earthly and Otherwordly Puzzle Pieces” under subtitle, “Sedona Posts” to get an idea of what I mentioned right above via 9 Sedona jobs.
The Non-Listener
Related Draft Post from September 2018
Note: This is a continuation post from the previous one, “Integrating Shadow Aspect of Self That’s Brutally Honest”
In the paragraph related to aggressive energy within the comment I shared for Bentinho’s video, I’m going to share a personal, related story that show when the aggressive communication style (used with discernment) can be highly effective.
I didn’t include this story in the comment I shared for Bentinho’s video, because I recall reading one of his very long posts (that I discontinued reading) where he shared that he often doesn’t enjoy listening to people’s stories, and that he’ll even walk off on them at times if they don’t get the hint.
Granted, I often enjoy listening to people’s sincere, honest, heartfelt stories, but don’t care for BULL$hi+ or small talk that’s just meant to fill up the “uncomfortable silence.”
I can also relate to Bentinho needing to walk off on others because I had to learn the hard way that certain, excessively chatty people—I’ve known three in the past, whom I let go of eventually—don’t even give a $hi+ if it’s 3am, that you’ve been listening for hours, that you’re tired, and/or that you need to go to work the next day, and will continue to DUMP their earthly dramas onto you IF you don’t have any healthy boundaries.
I’ve learned that any habitual, LONG@$$, one-way conversations can be extremely DRAINING.
When I open my mind and heart—expand my perspective to integrated Mind/Heart—I also realize that when excessively chatty people show up into our lives, they are mirroring to us our unconscious, shadow aspect of self that actively listens too much and doesn’t express inner truth enough, to include feelings.
Therefore, we need to fully and freely express more within our own relationships—without going overboard and talking others to death, and/or in a space where others don’t necessarily have to listen to all the once repressed, suppressed, and built-up expressions from within (like a private journal, or even a public blog if you feel that it might be helpful to self and interconnected others).
New Insights for Above Draft Post
By the way, Bentinho, whom I discontinued focusing on for years—because he habitually came off arrogant, different from graceful confidence and trust/faith in the Divine within—was recommended by a customer from my first job in Sedona, shared in category page “Earthly and Otherwordly Puzzle Pieces” under subtitle, “Sedona Posts.”
The following is one example definition of uncaring from merriam-webster.com:
lacking proper sympathy, concern, or interest a cold and uncaring manner/attitude/person
After rereading this draft post again, I realized that NOT wanting to listen to people’s stories at all, is, once again, swinging the pendulum to the polar OPPOSITE extreme, rather than being discerning with which type of stories to listen to, and choosing NOT to listen to non-beneficial communication.
This form of complete rejection of others’ stories, possibly stems from someone NOT having hardly any personal stories (experiential knowledge) to share, due to their young age (like Bentinho was).
Therefore, he was not open to, didn’t appreciative, and didn’t value others’ invaulable experiences.
I’ve noticed a pattern of this, within a decade, from similar people who don’t have that many profound, Life experiences to share; hence, they have a tendency to minimize everyone’s elses experiences to make themselves feel better, though we can learn, grow, and gain wisdom (and even profound wisdom) from many Life experiences.
This is what even Jesus (The Essene from Nazareth, not Mexico) taught about back in the day—along with other Ascended Masters of this world and beyond.
It’s about Living Wisdom/Walking the Talk/Leading by Example/Experiential Knowledge, NOT conceptual data gathered from only books, videos, online courses, blogs, websites, etc., and vicariously via other people’s life experiences, and then regurgitated as knowledge and wisdom within fancy spiritual sayings that are NOT Heart-centered, hence, NOT heartfelt.
If you’ve ever experienced clearly communincating something to someone, and their half-ass or left field reply makes it seemingly obvious they WEREN’T listening, it can feel quite baffling, and even frustrating.
It would FEEL as if you had stepped into some CRAzy@$$ Twilight Zone movie that could easily cause one to think, “WTF was that about?!”
This is especially the case when you ask someone an important question, and they not only NOT acknowledge what you said, but state some unrelated, only logical mind, and NON-Heart-centered, fancy quote.
However, I learned a new Life lesson recently, that some people may give an awkward and/or unrelated answer (or even IGNORE altogether) because they don’t know what to say (details of story and insights shared in previous post mentioned at the very top of this post).
So it doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t care, but perhaps they haven’t learned effective communication skills.
One example SOLUTION would be to at least reply (via text, email, fb messenger, etc.) or respond (in person, via phone call, via video chat, etc.) to another’s expressions in a very brief and honest manner—rather than completely IGNORE them for multiple days, weeks or a month or more—-which will more than likely make them FEEL as if they don’t matter.
Examples:
- “I just wanted to let you know that I did read your message; it’s just that I need time to process it; I will definitely get back with you soon!”
- “Lately, I’ve been overwhelmed with various stress factors in my life, so I didn’t have time to fully process what you shared [respond to your message, or take care of what you requested]. Can I give you a call soon on whatever day and time works best for both of us?”
Divine Dichotomy??
As shared in the previous post (as one of the main topics), no on likes to be ignored, because one of the perceptions and perspective can be that it’s disrespectful and unkind, though we can definitely rise above the need to allow others non-actions, such as non-listening and ignoring to negativelly SHAKE our inner world.
And IF you feel READY to dive DEEPER into the Cosmic Rabbit Hole, I invite you to play with this idea.
What what IF you both happened to experience a Divine Dichotomy (see below for meaning) of seemingly different, yet, similar parallel realities due to different levels of Consciousness (a high probability).
By choosing to expand our perspective, and SEE the BIGGER picture with CLARITY, we RECLAIM more of our INNER POWER—merged version of Heart leading Mind, as integrated Heart/Mind—and also give/gift ourselves/others more Profound Wisdom, Unconditional Love, Inner Peace, FREEDOM, Joy, and other love-based, high vibrations, that transforms our inner world (and eventually outer world mirroring within) to a seemingly HEAVENLY state.
The following is from the reading, “Dichotomies” within Natasha Bacca’s blog (that includes vibrantly colorful and gorgeous artwork, so I recommend you read the rest of the priceless details by clicking on the title link right above):
Life is full of dichotomies and this is both its beauty and its wonder. To understand something we must also experience the opposite. To know joy we must also feel sorrow. A life of only joy or sorrow would just be. When we live in duality thinking we are blinded by our current state. When we elevate our thinking to realize that everything can be both good and bad, positive and negative, right and wrong, we can rise above duality and accept relativity. Living in the realm of relativity two opposites are both truths, occupying the same space and time. This shift can take us from polarity to unity.
“It’s important to learn about Divine Dichotomy and understand it thoroughly if you are to live in our universe with grace. Divine Dichotomy holds that it is possible for two apparently contradictory truths to exist simultaneously in the same space.
[…]
– Conversations with God, Book 3 [Neale Donald Walsch: read some of his highly creactive and very well-written books while in the Army, to include the CWG trilogy]
“Never permit a dichotomy to rule your life, a dichotomy in which you hate what you do so you can have pleasure in your spare time. Look for a situation in which your work will give you as much happiness as your spare time.”
– Pablo Picasso
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