Note: This is an updated continuation post from “A Limitless Wish for You This Holiday Season and Beyond ^_^” (a card booklet), but it can be read on its own as well.
Merry Christmas All That Is! ^_^
Note: Poster on right found next to link => Wishafriend.com
I used to create home-made cards for my family members during various, special occasions and holidays (along with other gifts)—whether for my kids (from kid to adult age), my ex-husband and his wife and their children, my mother and relatives in Korea, my step brothers and sisters (from my adoptive dad side), and my half-sisters (from my bio dad’s side).
But I often didn’t receive any feedback from most of them. So I used to wonder thoughts like, “Did the gifts get lost in the mail?” “Did they receive them but not like them?” and “Did any of my expressions come off weird, strange, crazy, offensive, too unconventional, too kid-like, too spiritual, etc.?” (due to my own doubts about my creativity and expressions back then, which I’ve intended to fully let go of since it doesn’t benefit me).
Whenever I did ask them if they received the cards, I would get some unenthusiastic responses like, “Oh yeah. Thanks.” or “Sorry, I was so busy that I forgot to let you know.”
In today’s technological age where everyone and their mamas and grandmamas seem to be checking their cell phones at least two dozen times per day, it’s puzzling to hear that people are so incredibly busy that they can’t even take a minute to reply, “Thanks for_____!”
Whenever someone does anything nice for me, I can’t wait to at least thank them, but I guess that’s just me and whoever else resonates with this desire.
Even if my so-called worst enemy surprised me with an act of unconditional kindness, I wouldn’t be able to ignore them. More than likely, I would feel deeply moved, and thank them from the depths of my heart.
While spending much time in solitude, and going through the process of deeply healing on all energetic levels of my being—physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual—I came upon a few readings a while back that taught me that habitually ignoring others is a form of emotional abuse, which I wasn’t aware of.
So I chose to respect myself more and let go of all relationships that no longer served me, benefited me, encouraged me, uplifted me, empowered me, inspired, and made me happy.
And when I did, it felt like a huge, heavy load had been taken off my back; I felt so liberated, though parts of me felt deeply sad. However, I chose to trust that if it’s for our highest good to reunite, it would happen in Divine perfect timing and order.
UPDATE inserted on 12/25/2018 (this aqua paragraph only): This morning, my husband and I agreed to send everyone and their mamas and grandmamas that we both know a soft copy of this card (the last home-made holiday card I’ll ever make) through my husband’s fb account via personal message (since I deactivated mine). It didn’t matter to me anymore if anyone didn’t feel like replying this time, I just wished for them to be happy, even if we never interacted again.
Several months ago, I wrote a second review for another health product that I had bought from one of my husband’s coworkers (a receptionist) who had a small home business on Etsy.
I never received a reply, though she wanted me to send the review to her via email. The email address was correct because she had acknowledged the first review I sent her a while back.
I wondered if the email ended up in spam, so I sent the email again; but I still didn’t receive a reply. I let it go since I didn’t want to bother her; she had mentioned a couple of times before how busy she is.
Recently, I saw her and asked if she had received the review I had sent several months ago because I didn’t want her to think that I had forgot about the review, or even brushed her off.
She said that she was super busy (empathizing the word super), which tickled me because I’ve seen her check her phone plenty of times during her work hours within just a handful of times I’ve stopped by my husband’s office before.
The old me would’ve wondered if there was something wrong with the positive review that I wrote her, but I had my back this time; I go above and beyond when I write positive reviews for others, ensuring that I include important details that can be helpful to their business, to include their names and anything else that I observed about them and their strengths/wonderful qualities.
I found out at my husband’s company Christmas party that this former receptionist had discontinued her online job on Etsy. This important piece of information helped me to understand why someone may not want to reply an email, due to not feeling excited and/or grateful about someone writing them a positive review for something in the past.
It might even embarrassing for someone to admit something like that, though there’s nothing to be embarrassed of or ashamed of for letting go of what no longer resonates with us.
A while back, she was debating on whether or not to continue her business. I shared with her that if it still excites her, or she’s still passionate about it, then yes, continue. But if not, she should do the next thing that makes her happy rather than tired; but that she could always pick up where she left off should she change her mind.
I trust that I’m learning to be at peace with certain others not sharing feedback and/or expressing any form of appreciation; there can be various factors as to why one chooses to say (or not say), do (or not do), give (or not give), etc., and it doesn’t benefit us to always take it personally.
One example: We cannot give to others what we don’t believe we have from within (especially unconditional love); hence it’s so important to reconnect with our souls, embrace and integrate more and more aspects of ourselves without judgment, and discover that this unlimited Light (God) and Unconditional Love (Goddess) exists within all of us—which helps us to fully and truly embrace interconnected others within this world, Solar System, Galaxy, Universe, and beyond.
I wrote about this topic within this blog at least a couple of times. One example that I gave within a story is that I noticed that people who are generous with various forms of love—to include compliments, being fully present with others, actively listening to others, making others laugh, etc.—-intuitively trust in the abundance of it from within.
The experience that feels like rejection from others never feels good; however, I also learned from overall wonderful spiritual teachers or life coaches—like Teal Swan, Victor Oddo, and the Twin Flame couple from the lonerwolf website (just to name a few)—that when we discontinue rejecting any aspects of our whole being, we will notice our outer world start to mirror our inner world our growing unconditional for self.
Side Note (in this peach font paragraph only): I stated “overall” in describing spiritual teachers because I don’t resonate with everything they teach, to include certain, fear-based expressions stemming from their own filters (example post regarding Teal Swan below ). In addition, I noticed lately that Teal has a tendency to lean too much towards NOT spending solitude time, whereas the couple from lonerwolf website tends to go in the opposite direction; and I have no doubt that there’s a harmonious balance between solitude and social time, as shared in post, “Embracing and Integrating Aspect of Shadow Self That’s Unaware of Its Own Projections” published on 12/29/2018.
For my son’s high school graduation a while back, I made him, his two close buddies, and his girlfriend at the time, a graduation card (shared in post, “Path to Ultimate Freedom Graduation Card“).
I found out later from his girlfriend that she never received it, and she looked at him like she couldn’t believe he would withhold a gift from her.
Apparently, he didn’t give his buddies the cards either, but I was able to understand, because the expressions on the card are unconventional, and he probably felt embarrassed about it—like most young adults have a tendency to feel about their parents (to include myself back in the day)—though he may have liked it in secret; I don’t know.
I simply chose not to make and send him anymore cards (or even write him poems) [see above mentioned, “UPDATE inserted on 12/25/2018]. However COMMA he’s still my son, and I unconditionally love both of my adult children very much, so I can share my love in other ways whenever I get a chance to interact with them.
Sometime this year, my son and I had a phone conversation where he mentioned that it didn’t feel good to receive one-word or very brief text message or phone call replies from his girlfriend at the time, when he puts so much effort to reach out and communicate with her.
I somewhat jokingly shouted, “Welcome to my world!” He laughed, and said he realized that he had done the same to me as well. There was no need for a verbal apology because I sensed it, and I felt so grateful that we could break the ice.
I’ve attempted to have heart-to-heart talks with my kids before, especially when they were teenagers, but they weren’t too successful, which I imagine many parents experience.
I received the infamous, teeny boppin’ rolling of eyes, the forceful exhaling of breath, and/or another well-known saying, “OMG. I don’t need another lecture!” (though they weren’t lectures).
So I was glad that the conversation I had with my son (mentioned above) was spontaneous, natural, unexpected, and heartfelt.
Eventually, I chose to stop bothering my wide-range of family members—with the exception of my son, who wanted to stay in touch—with various gifts that didn’t seem to uplift them in anyway. I also had to check myself because I wondered if my giving was conditional.
But I realized that, as usual, I love giving love in various forms to others, and I don’t do it for ulterior reasons (e.g., to receive gifts in return, to get recognition, to try and convince myself I’m a good person, to try and convince others I’m a good person, to be approved of by some higher power, to go to “heaven,” to avoid going to “hell,” to give in order to receive due to some universal law, etc.).
However, I still had the need to know if they even received the gift, even though I didn’t get a thank you; and I suppose that still made my giving to them conditional, which I now embrace.
I’ve let go of the need to give to others who habitually don’t seem to care to receive whatever I give them because I don’t want to bother them anymore.
For at least a year or so now, I discontinued making or even sending any kind of cards (or any other gifts) to any of my wide-range of family members.
Whenever I feel like it, I make it for neighbors, my husband’s coworkers, and even acquaintances.
For instance, I gave a graduation card—in post/link mentioned above—to a really kind, well-rounded, young, local cashier (turned new manager) in San Antonio before we left, and asked him not to open it until his college graduation in December of 2017.
Since I gave him the card in person, I met my need of knowing that he at least received it, and it didn’t matter that I would more than likely never see him again and receive any feedback—though it would make me happy if he liked the card, and it would be a delightful surprise to cross paths again.
He thanked my husband and I for giving him the card, and we wished him well on his journey. I shared a post about him a while back, though the title escapes me right now (I will insert the post when I think of it).
He was the unconditionally kind cashier to even the somewhat rude customer in front of my husband and I (and not a facade to avoid getting into trouble).
He wished this woman a Merry Christmas with much enthusiasm and sincerity; and though she was still standing right in front of him, she was so busily consumed by her cell phone, that she briefly looked up after the train had passed, gave him one of those snotty, quick, half-ass smiles, and walked off.
Perhaps it would’ve been better if she just simply walked off; then one could assume that maybe, she didn’t hear him; but she apparently did. I wondered why it was so difficult to reply, “Thank you,” or better yet, wish him a Merry Christmas as well.
But again, we live in an instant gratification world these days where many people are like energizer bunnies on crack—just GOING GOING GOING, DOING DOING DOING, etc.—like freakin’ soulless robots, while not even noticing Life that’s happening around them (let alone Being fully present/mindful).
Heartfelt connections (even with so-called strangers) include, I SEE YOU, I HEAR YOU, I FEEL YOU, and I AM YOU, AND YOU ARE ME at the interconnected soul level.
It’s time we realize the true meaning of celebrations like holidays, and that it’s not just about fancy trees and other decorations, loads of gifts, turkey and/or ham dinners, obsessive (key word) and not always honest “happy life” Facebook or other social media postings, etc.
I can list many adjectives, but ultimately, the celebration of Unconditional Love with self and interconnected others is the truest and purest of all holidays.
As soon as that woman too off, the expression on the cashier’s face seemed to reveal a combination of sadness, awkwardness, and an optimistic part of him who chose to move on.
I’ve experienced and witnessed not so nice customers before, and often times, after a friendly cashier experiences one of them, most aren’t as friendly towards the next customer, though they do their best to wear the right mask; however, this cashier was different.
When it was our turn in line, he genuinely smiled and greeted us as though nothing had happened. I complimented him for his loving response to a fear-based action, which isn’t easy to do.
He then shared with me that his mother taught him to be this way, and I told him that his mother taught him well, and that he’s a great son for learning such wisdom.
I wrote a review for him, in addition to communicating with his manager about his strengths that we’ve noticed whenever we shopped at HEB Plus (which was often).
As mentioned above, he soon became a new manager himself, and he continued to do an outstanding job, especially when it came to interacting with and helping customers in such a sincere manner.
One day, he even called me by my name (Barbara), which took me by surprise because there are numerous customers at that huge supermarket; I giggled when my husband jokingly whined that Javian didn’t remember his name.
I also gave a big birthday card—shared in post, “Celebrating Your Birth to Heaven on Earth – Poem/Card“—to a young, local server (a college student named Chase) who’s simply a a very well-rounded, awesome, magnetic, lovable being.
When I had written a five star review for him a while back at the restaurant he works at, he said that it made him cry, which was so deeply heartfelt to hear and even see his sincere expression.
So I trusted that he would like the b-day card—when he had shared about his recently past b-day experience—and sure enough, he told me another day that as soon as his buddy, Michael, (who’s also a server there) texted him that my husband and I had dropped off the card (on a day we didn’t know he was off), he replied to him that he was going to pick it up that day though he was off. It made my heart smile that he liked it.
So I realized that even though some people may not show any form of appreciation for certain forms of love that they receive from others (to include gifts), there are those who will, and it doesn’t matter what earthly label they have (i.e, family member, friend, coworker, neighbor, acquaintance, stranger), since it’s about the sharing of unconditional love at the soul level, which transcends physical bodies, blood, genetics, family ties, etc.
The well-known saying, “Blood is thicker than water” when it comes to family is not always accurate. There are at least a dozen souls on this planet that shared more unconditional kindness and loyalty than my own family members.
Granted, every one of my wide-range of family members have their own wonderful qualities and strengths, despite their so-called flaws (which I also have), and I still love them unconditionally, and wish them much happiness, even from a distance; and I trust that whenever we’re ready to cross paths again, we will.
Speaking of earthly labels not mattering, for my son’s high school graduation a while back, I wrote him a long poem that I integrated with various images using Googles Slides (like this card within this post), which I turned into a poem card booklet.
Since our neighbor’s son—whom we’ve known since 2009—was also graduating the same timeframe, I thought why not make him the same graduation card booklet as well, with some changes that were more personal to each of them.
To my great surprise, my neighbors and their son shared how much they loved it, and even framed all 23 printed slides (just checked soft copy since I couldn’t recall).
I realized that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to feel appreciated—everyone does, whether they want to admit it or not—even if our intent to share some form of love was unconditional to begin with.
For instance, I once crossed path with a woman (a public motivational speaker) who had a very strong personality and great sense of humor; I even shared with her later that she should do open mic comedy, and she was so happy that I shared that with her because it was a thought in the past, but nothing more.
She shared a story with a large group of people that, one day, she put so much love, time, and effort into cooking a delicious meal for her teenage daughter; she even decorated the meal with colorful garnishes.
When she brought it over to her daughter—who happened to be texting as usual—her daughter didn’t even acknowledge her presence with at least brief eye contact, and told her in a commanding tone, “Just put it right there” (i.e., the coffee table next to the sofa).
This honest woman admitted that it made her angry that her daughter couldn’t even pause a few seconds and show some appreciation; there wasn’t even a thank you. She ended up calling out her daughter for the BULL$H!+.
I wanted to emulate this self-empowering attitude and action with my own kids, but the past guilt of being that “mother who suddenly joined the Army when they were toddlers” prevented me from sharing my inner-truths, to include feelings.
I’ve made intention statements to let go of all the guilt, shame, and doubts that no longer benefit me. I had very good reasons why I made an extremely heart-wrenching decision.
Shortly after leaving the Army life, I decided to continue my college education since the very busy military life, and my need to be a workaholic at the time, made it challenging to complete a bachelor’s degree.
For my last semester at SAC in San Antonio (before transferring over to UTSA), I made two of my instructors my own version of a gratitude gift. Note: I only attended UTSA for a brief time; see About page for related stories
I integrated my expressions of appreciation for them being great teachers, added a famous teachers’ quote or two, and used school-themed pop-up stickers (like a desk, apple, chalkboard, etc.) around the letter I wrote them.
I then added colorful personal drawings (like a butterfly, symbolic of transformation), and lightly sprinkled some gold, silver, and bronze glitter onto it. Yes, I’ve embraced my free-spirited inner-child! ^_^
For the final touch, I framed it and gave it to my instructors after finals and after all the grades were posted.
This was the first time I had ever created a gratitude gift for teachers, though it wouldn’t be my last since I created one for my former preschool teacher (bad@$$ deeply loving Tina) whom I worked with (as an assistant teacher) at Mustard Seed Early Learning Center in San Antonio (but I’ve already shared that story within this blog).
I highly respected and admired my instructors for not only being great teachers, but also Being loving souls.
My government instructor was from Iran, and despite him going through some challenging times in the States due to his earthly label, he chose to be optimistic rather than bitter; he understood that people in general have a tendency to be judgmental—often stemming from the fear of what all they think and/or believe they know about whatever topic.
By the way, he also had a great sense of humor, which was a bonus; students (to include myself) laughed daily, especially when he made funny comments with a serious facial expression.
My history instructor looked like a skinnier, older, shorter, cowboy version of Sam Elliot, especially with his long mustache and his choice of clothing and shoes. He was a gentle, wise, and honest soul who truly cared about his students.
Since I knew they were busy, I just quickly handed them the gifts and thanked them.
Though they both thanked me at different moments, their deep, glassy, eye contact—that seemed to convey a combination of disbelief, surprise, deep gratitude, and joy—was the same.
This type of intense, yet, gentle eye contact has become very familiar to me over the decades; I now fully trust it to be a profound, soul connection, and intuitive knowing of our interconnected oneness.
Related Post, “An Intriguing Experience and Reading About the Female Christ“
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