When I was debating on whether I should share this journal as a post, I noticed 12:12 on my laptop clock, which has often reminded me for years of Balance & Harmony within/Spiraling Consciousness/Star of David Frequency/MerKaBa—integrated and merged Heart & Mind/Yin & Yang/Moon & Sun/Dark (Unknown) & Light (Known)/Spirit & Soul/Unconditional Love & Light core essence/Buddha Consciousness & Christ Consciousness/Goddess & God/I AM Presence, aka I (God) AM (Goddess) Presence/etc..
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
When I came upon this image (on left), it expanded my perspective for the 1/2 apple dream I had (shared below), because it provided a visual of how two, half apples side by side—seemingly symbolic of me sharing a giant, half apple with another, unknown female—appears from an objective perspective.
Image by TatsianaVusava from Pixabay
It’s like two 8’s’ which reminds me of the infinity sign at a horizontal angle, 
which then reminds me of the above paragraph about wholeness, which somehow reminds me of Twin Soul/Twin Flames—2 mirroring to one another each other’s wholeness of 1—though I’ve intended to let go of this deep desire to experience this a while back, probably due to my ego’s logical mind convincing me that I’m not whole enough, and it’s seems too fairytale-like and highly unlikely to ever happen (though I’ve had many earthly and otherworldly dreams that seem to prove otherwise).
Image by Yamadasan from Pixabay
Though I’m in a female body, I realized more over the years that my dominant, vibrational frequency felt more masculine than feminine.
And if this is true, then I wonder if this correlates with dreams I’ve had in the past where I have a deep, masculine voice—the same one that I heard within while reading the book, The Emerald Tablets of Thoth, the Atlantean by M. Doreal—-to include the dream recorded in post, “Dream of Shouting to Goddess While Flying Through Wormhole,“ and the one where I seemed like an E.T. male being observing what appeared to be a futuristic, metal sarcophagus, and compassionately asking another, “Is the human suffering?” (don’t recall name of post, though it includes another dream of an otherworldly being who looked like a female figure filled with the Universe—black background with many different color sparkling stars, who emerged from water, whom I now trust is symbolic of The Divine Mother Goddess).
But then again, I’ve also had dreams of having female voices that weren’t the current voice that I have in this particular, physical reality, especially the one where I was in a cave, and said to a male creature (before he transformed into a man) in a very confident, calm, and commanding female voice, “Merge with me and become one”; and then started toning afterwards, probably because I was a Priestess/Goddess (recorded in post, “The Dark Being and Jesus Within Me” (under subtitle, “The Disguised Nightmare” of July 8, 2013).
Image by Mircea Ploscar from Pixabay
Anyhoo, I trust that more earthly and otherworldly puzzle pieces will come together in Divine perfect timing and order.
The following is from a dream journal (via Google doc) of various dreams I had last night through this morning, that seemed vivid, yet, elusive in some details (included are the dreams, various online dream interpretations of key words that resonate with me, and my own insights):
8/18/2021 (Wed)
Dream #1
I was riding this unusual, futuristic-looking vehicle, and drove next to and then over another colorful one that was similar. Upon landing and having fully enjoyed the ride, I thanked Beloved within for the opportunity (which I don’t recall ever doing in dream state).
https://realdreaminterpretation.com › Blog :
Dreams about cars and other vehicles can reveal something about the driving forces in our lives. Sometimes car dreams say something specific about how we carry ourselves, and at other times, they say something about what might be carrying us. Our driving forces change with various stages of our life journey.Apr 11, 2018
https://www.auntyflo.com › dream-dictionary › entertai…:
Dreaming about being in bars or nightclubs and having fun may symbolize a need that you have for some type of a meaningful transformation.
https://sleepculture.com › happy-dream-interpretation-me… :
What does it mean when you dream about being happy?
When you dream of being happy, it is indicative of actually being happy with your place in life. … The happy dream that you are experiencing may in reality be the opposite of what you are experiencing. The dream may be to compensate you for sadness, stress or other negative emotions that you are feeling in real life.
Dream #2
I offered half of a red apple—that was the size of half my body—to this unknown, I think white female in an office environment. Before handing it to her, I noticed that I had left some pink lipstick on the inside center of the apple, so I took it off.
She looked disappointed, and said something to the effect that it was her apple, and that I stole it from her.
I was so surprised, and I apologized and told her that I had never stolen from anyone before, and I couldn’t believe I didn’t remember.
Every Apple tree has a story… – The Present Tree
https://thepresenttree.com › blogs › apple-tree-meaning :
In ancient mythology, the Apple is one of the most sacred trees and symbolises good health and future happiness. Since ancient times it has also been known as the ‘Tree of Love’ and is associated with Aphrodites, goddess of love.Apr 11, 2017
http://websites.umich.edu/~umfandsf/symbolismproject/symbolism.html/A/apple.html :
What does an apple represent symbolically?
It is a complex symbol, with a variety of meanings and incorporated in a variety of contexts. It can mean love, knowledge, wisdom, joy, death, and/or luxury […]
In secular terms, the apple functions as a symbol for the cosmos or totality, due to its nearly perfect spherical shape.
https://www.brooch-paradise.com/blogs/fruits-symbolism/apple-meaning-symbolism :
The apple is more than a traditional fruit; it is also a mythical symbolic fruit whose origin dates back to the Bible. According to the myth, God planted two trees in the Garden of Eden. The first tree is the tree of life and is placed in the center of the garden to symbolize immortality. The second tree is the tree of knowledge; it symbolizes the distinction between good and evil. On the sixth day of creation, God created man in His image from the dust of the earth. Since God considered that man couldn’t live alone, He created animals. But animals were not enough companionship for man. Then God created woman from his own ribs. God placed them both in the Garden of Eden, and commanded them not to eat the fruits of the Tree of Knowledge, or they would die. The woman, Eve, was then tempted by the serpent who told her that he couldn’t die just by eating the fruit. He added that if they ate the apple, then they would be like God, they would know good and evil. Then she ate the fruit and gave it to Adam. Suddenly, they both found themselves naked, and they tried to hide from God. When God realized that they had eaten the forbidden fruit, He cursed the serpent, Adam, and Eve, and sent them away from the Garden of Eden.
Apple symbolism
The apple is a very common fruit. It symbolizes:
Temptation 🍎
Immortality
🍏 Wisdom
The power
Love
Red apple symbolism
The Red Apple symbolizes love, temptation, original sin and banishment from paradise. In Latin, the word means “bad, grave, wicked”. Snow White was poisoned by the queen with a red apple. It is also used in a more direct sense or to evoke healthy living.
https://dreamastromeanings.com › dreams-about-apple-…:
Red apples represent sexual desire and sexuality in general. Red apples in dreams are an extremely positive sign. They symbolize prosperity …
https://dreamingandsleeping.com › dreams-about-apple…:
Dreams about red apples are extremely positive and bring us joy in almost all areas of life. No matter what we are planning to do, this dream tells us it going …
https://www.dreamsopedia.com/dream-about-half-eaten-apple.html:
Dream about Half Eaten Apple points at power strength and stamina. You are experiencing an emotional standstill. You will be victorious despite the negativity surrounding you in your life. Your dream is a symbol for your determination and perseverance. You need to find yourself and find what will makes you feel whole as a person.
https://www.dreamchrist.com › lipstick-dream-interpretation :
If you dream of pink lipstick, this is your lucky day. It’s time to relax and enjoy your relationship, both with loving and with those closest to you. Pink lipstick talks mainly about love and passion. If you use this lipstick in your dreams, it means your relationship tends to get better.
https://checkmydream.com › dream-meaning › accusation :
Accusation Dream Meaning. … According to the most common interpretation – a false accusation of theft promises you wealth, but only if you put all the energy and activate your hidden reserves.
Dream #3
I saw a younger version of Suk—my Korean step-mother who passed away the beginning of 2021 from cancer—show up with a BDU-like jacket (but feminine looking and stylish) with some black insignia on it (don’t recall what). I then saw her with a group of young, Asian (perhaps Korean) females her age (perhaps mid 20’s), and they were all dressed up as well (in stylish clothes and head accessories) and were heading to Nampo-dong [where my high school friends and I hung out at times]. So I excitedly asked if they were going to Busan [where I lived during my high school years].
https://checkmydream.com › dream-meaning › uniform :
What does it mean to dream of someone in military uniform?
A military uniform seen in a dream often personifies climbing the career ladder. Dream Interpretation predicts success at work, getting a more significant position, increasing responsibility.
https://www.labex-cortex.com › Dream Meaning :
Deceased loved ones visiting in dreams symbolize that you will be able to adapt the admirable qualities of that person which you wanted to mirror in your waking life [Suk was wise in her own way, and she also knew how to have fun when she was young, and she loved eating delicious foods]. Seeing your dead loved ones is also a reminder for the dreamer that Jesus and heaven is real.
Dream #4
I saw my mom I think, and she said she was craving for some meat patties, so she started cooking them in a frying pan. I then saw a pantry (on top left) with lots of boxed foods.
Insights: Shortly after my grandmother passed away, about a decade or so ago, my mother shared that her and her siblings thought it was odd that my grandmother suddenly craved a food that she normally didn’t eat. For about a week or so before her death, she only wanted to eat fried spam and rice.
During my elementary school years—whenever my parents dropped me off at my grandma’s house for summer and winter breaks—she shared fascinating stories every now and then that included her seeing a female ghost back in her day, looking sad near a well (and I believed her).
I realized in my late thirties or forties—while doing a lot of spiritual, inner work, to include reflecting on past memories and gaining wisdom—that my grandma was tuned into her psychic abilities (details shared within blog somewhere).
So I trust that she followed her inner guidance, to include her body’s communication of its needs before her death.
Perhaps it needed to retain a lot of water—since spam is very high in sodium—in order to smoothly transition into another energetic state.
I’ve seen her in many dreams after her death (like other family members who passed), and with each one, the environment she was in seemed to gradually go from gloomy to happy; so I trust that all is well in her world (and even other loved ones, to include my step-mom).
Anyhoo, this made me wonder if this dream was a premonition for her upcoming death since she had a stroke a few months ago or so, and I had another dream less than a month ago of her craving beef ribs—something unusual for her since she enjoys mostly vegetables and rice; I shared the latter dream with her, and she thought it was odd as well.
But once again, even if my mother were to pass, I’m ready for her to experience some inner peace, unconditional love, freedom, health, and happiness.,
https://www.dreams.metroeve.com › boxes
Positively, dreaming of boxes with things in them may reflect a sense of closure you have about an issue. … To dream of a lot of boxes may represent information overload or too much to think about. Too many subjects all at once. To dream of an empty box represents a wish to organize your thoughts or your life. May 18, 2019
https://myquestions.club › dreaming-of-food:
To dream that you have a lot of food means plenty. Excellent times await you, Economic abundance and well-being of yours. You can pay off all your debts and …
Dream #5
I was with a group of beings who I was talking to but don’t recall seeing. I was flying some aircraft backwards, and was lightheartedly saying that I couldn’t see, and I think they laughed. It was a bumpy ride at times, but I wasn’t scared.
http://dreamstop.com › Common Dreams :
You may even find yourself flying backward in a dream. Spiritualists believe that this is a reflection of a desire to look back on your life and relive past joys and sorrows. Jul 16, 2020
http://dreamstop.com › Dream Dictionary
Laughing with a group of people will help strengthen your confidence.
Dream #6
I saw someone familiar—perhaps childhood friend from 3rd – 8th grade, Jerry Hollingsworth, but not sure—who looked like a teenager. I recognized him, so I excitedly ran to him on some grassy area during the day. I asked if he could take my phone number, and he smiled and said, “I love you,” and I felt so happy.
When I reflected on why I admire this childhood friend—though we weren’t close friends back then, but more like classmates who exchanged brief conversations—it was because he was the opposite of some of the “mean” boys that I had experienced; he was authentic, kind, smart, keenly observant, funny, and very comfortable to be around.
Examples of the bully boys: Jeff who made the racist ugly comment, and the small group (around 4 or 5) of boys who followed me all the way to my next class in 7th while calling me bozo, because my mom had bought me these aqua sneakers that were noticeably too big for me at the Korean market, but they don’t take refunds, so she forced me to wear them.
I don’t recall having a crush on Jerry Hollingsworth, but he’s apparently very memorable; after all, it’s been almost 40 years. What still fascinates me, is that I don’t recall many first and/or last names of so many people I’ve known from after high school (graduated in early 90’s), but yet, I remember full names of many childhood friends and classmates.
Jerry made a gentle, joking comment about the song relating to me (my smallness) when our choir class was singing (forgot the name of song), “I am but a small voice, I have but a small dream…the fragrance of a flower, in the unpolluted air….”
I also said something sarcastic (related to the rag/a woman’s period) about another song we had to sing called,”Ragtime” something, and he laughed.
I knew Jerry Hollingsworth from 3rd grade, then saw him again for half a semester each in 7th and 8th grades, and then saw him during basketball season; he grew much taller, but I don’t think he remembered me, not that I approached him since I only saw him for very brief moments on the court.
He was also funny. One time, in science class, he shared with me, Sergio Giles, and very kind dark Asian dude (forgot his name, but if I had multiple choice, I may recognize), that Carol ____—the most popular girl in our high school from at least 7th-8th grades—had walked into some class, and some guys started quietly singing the dwarf song from Snow White, “Hi Ho, Hi Ho.”
But Carol and I were best friends at one point in 7th grade (for a semester before I had to move), and I’d like to give her the benefit of the doubt that she wasn’t a ho, and that it might have been a rumor since kids can be cruel (due to their own unawareness).
I recall her sharing a personal story with me of how her older brother whooped her ass because he found a bunch of kinky underwear in her dresser. It was understandable since she was only in junior high school, and he was probably trying to protect her from guys taking advantage of her.
Ironically, he looked like and acted like the bad boy type, so he was probably aware of the typical boys’ motives around sexy girls. And she was definitely a hottie who was a straight A student, who wore very stylish clothes and shoes, was often nice, and pretty much seemed very well-rounded, though she had her own challenges, like her Korean parents beings very strict, and wanting to mold her to what they wanted her to be.
She acted like we were never friends when I returned in 8th grade, but that’s understandable looking back now since her older brother once asked her why she was hanging out with someone like me (who was nothing like her I suppose, to include being popular).
Granted, when I returned in 8th grade, I recall having a conversation in group, and I had the opportunity to witness a nice and cool side of her older brother; he didn’t come off as an arrogant asshole anymore.
When my basketball team (from Busan) visited Seoul’s Yongsan school during my high school year, she approached me during our break time, and gently asked why I don’t like her anymore in a sweet, lovey dovey tone.
I don’t recall my answer, but I recall how I felt (annoyed), and knowing how straight forward I was even back then, I probably told her she’s the one who ignored me and acted as though I didn’t exist.
But not completely I suppose, because one day in middle school in Yongsan, another popular blond girl (who was friends with Carol and a big fan of Bon Jovi, first learned about him from overhearing her, and how she enjoyed his concert) leaned over to me —I was sitting on the gym bench in front of her during a school event—and said, “I heard you and Carol were best friends in 7th grade,” and I replied yes, and that’s all I recall.
I realized that typing about this is a form of healing from what was perceived as a form of betrayal from a best friend whom I really liked and trusted back then, which could’ve affected how I wasn’t fully open to friends afterwards.
Carol was several aspects of my Golden Shadow Self (the positive aspects that were unknown to us) during middle school—someone I wished I could be, and not so much because of her popularity, which seemed more superficial even back then, but because she was so gorgeous, smart, stylish, and seemed to have it all, to include an older brother who cared about her, and parents who invested in her future; she even had a younger sister whom she adored.
What’s interesting is that when I was participating in the PTSD group for military women, one of the females (an Army nurse) told me once we became friends, that when she first saw me, she wondered why I was even in that group since I appeared to be very well put together, and she gave examples that were similar to how I perceived Carol in my younger days. Also shared within this blog stories of one of my few Army girlfriends at the time.
The only other female that was like an upgrade from Carol was my neighbor from Okinawa when I was in my late twenties (whom I blogged about about a decade ago), an authentic, strong, honest, seemingly fearless, gorgeous, wise, and mostly kind Korean woman who also loved dancing, and was very confident about it (like how I felt about dancing since childhood).
https://www.bustle.com › life › what-do-dreams-about-fri… :
Childhood friends can also indicate a desire to be more spontaneous and carefree. May 24, 2021
https://www.dreams.metroeve.com › childhood :
What does it mean to dream about someone from childhood?
To dream of experiencing your childhood may reflect feelings about being inexperienced with new situations. Enthusiasm for new opportunities or changes that you have never experienced before.
https://paranormalschool.com › dream-about-someone-co… :
Dream About Someone Telling You They Love You
Either the dream is trying to tell you that you have feelings for this person and shows your desire for them to confess their love for you, or that you have picked up on subtle hints that they might have feelings for you.Feb 26, 2021
dreamyobsession.com/what-does-dreaming-about-giving-someone-your-number-mean/ :
Dreaming of giving someone your number: getting out of your comfort zone
Dreaming of giving someone your number is a sign of exceptional changes. You need to break away from the plain routine of everyday life and have a blast. You want to get free from your comfort zone and begin new projects. Change is crucial if you want to preserve your physical and mental integrity.
http://dreamyobsession.com/what-does-dreaming-about-someone-telling-you-they-love-you-mean/ :
You’ve had the oddest dream and now you wish to know what it means. Dreaming about someone telling you they love you can be irritating, but you should never forget that dreams are not to be interpreted in a proper sense, quite the contrary! The world of dreams is the world of all possibilities. Truth and fiction meet in scenarios that are generally mind-blowing but always impertinent and wild. It is your choice to sort out what is relevant and what is not. It is the details that will bring meaning to your interpretation. Don’t hesitate to cross-reference information to get a personal interpretation of dreaming about someone telling you they love you.
We present on this page the fundamental interpretations related to dreaming about someone telling you they love you:
Dreaming about someone telling you they love you: a chance encounter
Dreaming about someone telling you they love you signifies that you are going to make up with an old friend. You will be reconnecting with someone you haven’t seen in a very long time. You might bump into this person randomly on the street, in a restaurant or at work. Dreaming about someone telling you they love you reveals that you will both be happy to encounter each other. He or she is someone you have had a nice time with and means a lot to you. You have lost sight of each other over time without really realizing it. This reconnection is a good thing for you.
Green Grass Dream Meaning Interpretationhttps://www.dreammeaning.xyz › green-grass-dream-mea…:
Some dream experts consider that grass represents a stage of personal growth. The green in dreams also symbolizes energy, optimism, and hope. As you know, the grass has a beautiful meaning.
https://www.auntyflo.com/dream-dictionary/grass :
Dreaming of grass suggests that everything in your life will go well. Grass in your dream means prosperity and health.
https://sleepculture.com › happy-dream-interpretation-me…:
What does it mean when you dream about being happy?
When you dream of being happy, it is indicative of actually being happy with your place in life. … The happy dream that you are experiencing may in reality be the opposite of what you are experiencing. The dream may be to compensate you for sadness, stress or other negative emotions that you are feeling in real life [True].
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