Note: The stories and insights within this post are updates to the recent post, “An Unshakable Full Presence is More POWERFUL Than Bombarding Negative Energies“; however, it can be read on its own
Image by Michael Bell from Pixabay
I talked to this coworker (mentioned above) the day after I published this post, since she initiated a related conversation.
She was initially in denial mode, and confidently claimed that I misunderstood everything that happened the day before.
So I informed her that I don’t like to be manipulated, gaslighted, and even controlled in a negative way.
I then explained to her that gaslighting is when you try to convince another that what they perceived (saw, heard, felt, etc.) DIDN’T happen, which can cause confusion, and even drive someone crazy, especially if there were more than one situations.
I then looked her in the eyes, and gently informed her that I had received advanced training in the past, in detecting mind games and BULLshit (while in the Army, at the Basic, as well as Senior Interrogation schools—which I didn’t mention since I don’t care to share with her any unnecessary, personal information).
Image by Gerhard G. from Pixabay
Her non-verbal cues, to include facial, micro-expressions revealed that she was busted and surprised (AGAIN, since I called her out the day before when she pretended as though she didn’t know how to close, so that she wouldn’t have to do all the work herself). UPDATE/INSIGHT added to post, “How Facing Fear Can Birth Unconditional Love” on 4/21/21.
After feeling duped, I told her the next night that she knows how to close the register by herself, so I wouldn’t be helping her unless absolutely needed (though I helped out with the rest of the closing procedures); and she did just fine.
Now I can understand not wanting to close (by yourself) the largest boutique (within the store’s family business), because it’s a lot of work—the whole process of closing the register, bringing in the heavy-ass mannequins, organizing, dusting, swiffering (I think I just made up this word), and vacuuming.
However COMMA it’s not cool to have someone who opened the store in the morning, also close with you at night, because you wanna be a lazy-ass, and also continually complain about how many inner and outer body aches you have (and how exhausted you are), when the other (me) ended up working over 11 hours that day.
The next time she plays a helpless victim, I will share the above example story with her.
Yesterday, she complained (probably over 50 times) how she doesn’t feel well; but yet, right after her snack times—5+ breaks throughout the day due to her blood sugar level (stemming from her unhealthy habits that she’s aware of)—she was very energetic and happy (though very briefly).
When she proceeded to complain again about not feeling well, another morning shift coworker—mentioned in the recent post, “What is an Amazing Soul Relationship?“—who’s very intuitive (like me), gently asked her, “Do you not want to close tonight?”
Image by Andreas Breitling from Pixabay
When she complained again about the same thing shortly after, I suggested to her to sit on the ottoman and relax, and that I would take care of the store and customers; but she insisted on working, and she was just fine while interacting with customers.
When she complained some more later, I asked her, “Are you not comfortable closing tonight?” And she said she was fine, but that she could really use some extra sleep.
I realized that she was hinting around with the hopes that I would feel sorry for her and volunteer to close for her.
But I also realized that I need to have compassion for self, since I’m working 6 days (just within this week), and I had opened and closed the store with her the other day (working over 11 hours).
So I chose self-care—part of Unconditional Love and maintaining healthy boundaries—over another’s habitual manipulation; I also refused to be deceived again by her.
Just within a month, I’ve closed for other coworkers a few times when one younger lady, and two older ladies, weren’t feeling well.
But thanks to these recent experiences with this coworker alone, I will have more razor-sharp discernment before making the decision to volunteer again.
Anyhoo, after looking surprised that I called her out again, she started expressing the truths, explaining why she may have a tendency to often say and do things that others may perceive as negative (i.e., ridiculing a coworker in front of a customer, belittling with a smile, disrespecting, manipulating with “poor me” stories with the hope that someone else will pick up the slack, being overly pushy and controlling, gaslighting, lying, denying, and faking).
She then apologized multiple times throughout the day, so I informed her that it wasn’t necessary to continually repeat apologies.
I also told her, “B_ _ _ _, I can be quick to forgive, but moving forward, I would appreciate it if we could just treat one another the way that we would like to be treated”; and she agreed.
She then proceeded to compliment me multiple times throughout the day.
So I informed her that I appreciate genuine compliments, but that I don’t care for insincere flattery.
She replied that she’s trying to change, and that she’s being sincere; so I said, “Ok.”
In the recent post, “What is an Amazing Soul Relationship?“, I shared the following insight:
In the previous post, “An Unshakable Full Presence is More POWERFUL Than Bombarding Negative Energies,” I shared the following insight, and I realized that the stories within this post ARE the positive CONTRASTS (aka the OPPOSITES) of these negative energies:
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