This morning, I received what felt like another, sudden download of uplifting ideas that made me smile and even laugh, which I trust was inspiration from Source within—aka Soul/Spirit, I (God) AM (Goddess) Presence, Higher Self, etc.
I haven’t experienced this particular download in a while, though I did go through sporadic phases that started a few years ago; and most recently, it happened several times earlier this year, even while I was in the shower (followed by what sounded like very subtle, angelic choir singing in the background).
Note: Poster on right found next to link => Pinterest
I once shared within this blog a while back that I had gradually recorded comedy skits in my google doc notes for a couple of years, where my goal was to integrate humor with profound wisdom from expanded perspectives (that helps with expanding our consciousness); well, one day, I built enough courage to actually bring them to life.
Since performing anything on stage can be a very intimidating experience, I first took baby steps. I went to a few open mic poetry places in San Antonio, TX (when I lived there), and read some poems that I had created and shared within this blog a while back.
Though I did feel nervous at first, I chose to just focus on the present moment and simply connect with how I felt when I created the poems.
To my great surprise, at the first location, several other poetry readers approached me after my performance and shared their heartfelt compliments; and the guy who led a poetry team (that also participates in poetry contests), asked if I would like to join them since he and his lead team members were impressed by my poetry.
I thanked them and told him that I would consider it, but I simply followed my inner guidance and trusted my feelings at the time. I had called him earlier that week to ask a question, but he never responded.
When I arrived at the restaurant/bar and first met him and his crew, he wasn’t exactly friendly. I mentioned that I was the who left the voice message, and he said that he forgot to call back, but didn’t seem sincere. After I was done reading two poems, he became very friendly and even tried to convince me to participate in the next poetry contest.
In addition, I talked to an older white lady who sat next to me. She’s a regular there, and I could sense that she didn’t feel comfortable with the newcomer (me).
She shared that she had recently been diagnosed with cancer, and the poetry team was all she had left to look forward to on a weekly basis. She then started comparing her poems with my poems and wondered why hers didn’t seem to receive as much acceptance.
I shared with her the details of my appreciation of her creative poems, and even cheered for her during her performance—the way I did for everyone else there—but I don’t think it was enough.
I informed her that I more than likely would’t be returning since I’m exploring other places, and she smiled a gentle and genuine smile as though she was experiencing some form of relief.
She asked if I had a business card and I replied that I didn’t, but that I would share my information with her if she felt like staying in touch. I gave her my cell number, email address, and my blog name (this one), and she suggested that I create a business card with all my info, and I told her it was a great idea.
I never heard from her (which I suspected), and since she didn’t seem willing to share her info, I chose not to bother her; but I trust that all is well in her life, despite outer circumstances (temporary or permanent).
The second place that I shared poems (two different times) was at a black comedy club, where mostly black people attended with a few white folks, Latinos, and possibly others; I didn’t see any other Asians there.
Yes, it was even more intimating since my conditioned logical mind was worried that I didn’t fit in with what appeared to be a tough crowd.
However COMMA just like the first time I did open-mic poetry, I chose to simply focus on the message—that I read from the actual card that I created and ordered for myself (shared in post, “Celebrating Your Birth to Heaven on Earth – Poem/Card“).
To my great surprise, I noticed some black, older ladies in front of me who had such gentle, loving expressions; one even appeared teary-eyed while slowly nodding her head back and forth as if to non-verbally imply her embrace of my message. In addition, some guy in the way back of the theater shouted, “YEAH!!” while clapping out loud.
My husband told me that other people were clapping in-between and cheering, but I only recall bits and pieces of such seemingly miraculous moments.
For my second performance there, I allowed another’s unconscious behavior and other non-verbal cues to shake me up a bit. She was one of the MC’s there, and I noticed that everyone whom she introduced before me (who were black), she did so with such fiery passion and enthusiasm.
However COMMA when it was my turn, it was as if someone threw a big bucket of cold water onto her and put out that super joyful flame. She did her best to be polite, but it was obvious that my outer, earthly background influenced how she perceived me, and how she chose to treat me (i.e., not like the others, which reminds me of that one game I think from the TV show Sesame Street or Electric Company, from back in my childhood days).
I admit, it hurt my feelings because I so wanted to believe that it didn’t matter what I looked like; after all, I have no doubt that many black people learned what it feels like to be discriminated by so-called “different” others.
A part of me felt like leaving right away because I didn’t want to be where I wasn’t welcomed; but I did my best to transcend the narrow perspective.
Plus, it was only one person who was like that that I was aware of. Before the place was opened, I ended up sitting next to a young, black woman on the bench, who was also performing, and she was very down to earth and sincerely friendly during our conversation.
I also ended up having a conversation with a really kind and ambitious young, black man who looked like he was 15, but was actually in his early twenties.
I listened to his interesting stories, and when he informed me how nervous he gets at times, I agreed that I know how he feels, and shared with him what usually helps me.
That night, I cheered really loud for the young lady and young man that I had a chance to meet, even though the young man had his entire family there for support.
When it was my turn, I shared the poem/song, “Teacher Reveal Truth to Me,” in the poem version. Afterwards, while rushing out of there, I ran into the young, black man, and he told me that my performance was “dope!” (very good, cool awesome, etc.). I thanked him and shared my compliment as well.
My husband told me on the drive home that a lot of people were actually cheering and clapping, but I was so lost in the storm within me that I didn’t even notice.
Granted, the gloomy mood I was in during those moments really set the tone for the poem that I read so passionately; so I’m reminded once again that there are no coincidences, only Divine synchronicity. 🙂
From these experiences, I was reminded from within that there may be closed minded and/or closed hearted people out there in the world—regardless of earthly backgrounds like race, ethnicity, color, gender, etc.—who don’t accept and approve of who we are, but there will also be those who do, and that’s all that matters.
When I heard about an open-mic place that included a jazz band, I became excited, which was a blinking neon sign that it was in alignment with Source within (Soul/Spirit), who was like, “OH yeah, this is the way baby! This sounds like FUN!!”
I shared the poem/song, “Teacher Reveal Truth to Me,” with the jazz band playing along while going with the flow, and it was a soul-igniting, heartfelt experience. I received some compliments afterwards, and even gave some in return since there were some very talented people (mostly younger than me).
Since I had some experiences with open-mic poetry, I was drawn to the next step: open mic comedy. I have no doubt now that a couple of my past experiences while stationed in Hawaii a while back (over a decade ago) were seeds that were planted by Source within.
I did my very first comedy skit of Barbara Walters at my work place—KRSOC at the time, now Hawaii Cryptologic Center/NSA Hawaii—and the second one I performed at my drama class (with a former soldier mentioned in post/link below) while briefly attending Chaminade University part-time.
I’ve shared these stories, along with other stories, somewhere within this blog, but I don’t recall which post. Wait one, it’s coming to me. The Barbara Walters skit is shared in post, “Expanding Perception of Societal Labels Such as Beautiful, Fascinating and the Standard.”
I still don’t recall where I shared the story of the comedy skit from drama class, but what I do recall is our instructor laughing his @$$ off in the back of the classroom during our performance, which was the first time I witnessed him with an other than serious facial expression.
I performed open-mic comedy in San Antonio twice, and to my great surprise, after the first night of my performance, the manager informed me that I had good material, and that he was glad that I participated since they need more female comedians.
I really appreciated his compliment since I didn’t think I did so well due to being nervous. My husband told me that people were laughing, but all I could recall was the thought that even the crickets had checked out, and seeing a couple of stern faces that seemed to telepathically communicate, “This is some BULL$h!+.”.
The manager also suggested that I stop by on a Thursday next time, and I found out that this night was for a handful of selected new comedians who performed for an entrance fee of $10.
My husband and I cheered for the MC that we started having conversations with when we first came to the comedy club as customers. He’s a really sweet Latino guy who recently moved from Austin, and I was very grateful that the manager suggested that we attend the event, since the MC had no family and friends there, and we were more than happy to cheer him on.
Shortly before the second time I was about to perform open mic comedy there, I experienced a few more surprises. A gentleman-like black guy there walked by and said with a smile, “I remember you from last time. Barbara, right?”
Another black guy—whose outer appearance and demeanor reminded me of Snoop Dogg—slowly walked by our table (while my husband was out on a smoke break) and said something to the effect that he recalled me being one of the few, young b!+ches who was cheering for him last week during his performance.
After raising one eyebrow, I assertively asked him, “Yes, I was cheering for you, and others, but who you callin’ young b!+ch? I’m a 44 year old grown-@$$ woman.” His eyes suddenly got bigger and apologized with a slight bow and big smile, and I smiled back and basically said it was fine.
Though I mostly acted as though I was offended, I secretly appreciated his unusual compliment about appearing younger. I used to pull it off often, but lately, I feel like I actually look my age.
Anyway, the night after my second performance, and when they were getting ready to close up, the manager approached me again and said that he heard from the MC (from Austin) that it was my last night since I was moving to Arizona.
He continued that he was sorry to see me leave, but that he saw potential in me; hence, he wanted to introduce me to someone. The three of us (to include my husband), headed over to the man, and a conversation started.
The other man was also a manger who supposedly worked with comedians like Ali Wong, when she first started. They both suggested that if we ever stop in the Phoenix area, that I perform at this one club where they know the manager there, and to give him their names.
Then they both wished us well, to include a safe trip, and we thanked them for sharing their compliments and suggestions. Though I really appreciated their suggestion, I felt that it would be a bit awkward to approach some unknown manager in Phoenix and state what they suggested, since it can come off as indirectly requesting for some type of favoritism.
Nonetheless, I reached out to the comedy club in Phoenix via email, and the organizer (not manager) of the event shared that new comedians can only participate in the open-mic comedy club as long as they bring at least 10 people with them.
My husband and I had just moved to Flagstaff, so I didn’t get a chance to make new friends; and all of my family members—most of whom I no longer stay in touch with—live far far away.
In my email reply to the organizer, I shared my situation, and also stated that such strict standards can push away some very talented, new comedians, and ended with, “Good luck with that.”
So instead of going to the Phoenix comedy club, I performed at Tempe, AZ. To make a long story short, I exchanged a few emails with DJ P since I had some questions; he was very helpful and I looked forward to meeting him.
However COMMA right before the event was about to start, DJ P made a last minute announcement that all the comedians only had five minutes rather than seven. This was understandable since more comedians showed up, so they had to cut each person’s time.
But at that very moment, I felt my heart sink to the bottom of my stomach. I had been rehearsing to the agreed upon seven minute time-frame, and I couldn’t just cut off the last two minutes because of how I had wrapped it all up.
I was already very nervous since there was a lot of people there—comedians and customers—but now I had to try and pay attention to other comedians’ performances before me, while also silently calculating in my head Plan B; and I’m not your typical math excelling Asian female.
I started out with one beer to help me to release my inhibitions, but ended up gulping a total of five beers. Now for the average-sized person, this would be no big deal, but I’m 4’9″ and was about 110 lbs at the time (now 106ish), PLUS I hadn’t drank that much alcohol in a while, so yeah, it didn’t end so well.
Though I managed to pull off the estimated time-frame, and was a loud ass while cheering for others, at closing time, that’s when the real fun happened.
I apparently approached DJ P and the owners of the bar and started venting about the seven minutes getting cut to five (I was clearly upset).
At one point, I casually called the male owner Merlin—according to my husband (who also briefly recorded me making a major @$$ out of myself)—to which DJ P added with a smile and smarty pants tone, “I was thinking more like Gandalf.”
The tall male owner had (still has?) long, whitish gray hair (tied in a ponytail) and a long, whitish gray mustache and beard, so no wonder I called him Merlin.
It was as if my subconscious mind took over my drunk-@$$, rapidly went through the invisible, cosmic database of all of my soul’s lifetimes in various worlds, and said, “Aha! There you are old friend! I knew I recognized you from somewhere.”
My husband informed me the next day that both the owners (a couple) and DJ P told me that I did great that night, though I was only able to recall a couple of fuzzy moments.
I was just grateful that they didn’t choose to call the cops on me saying, “Uh yes officer, there’s a 4’9″, very hot-tempered, Japorean woman over here who’s going ape$h!+ CRAzy. Can you please send someone, or a team, to remove her from our property.”
After arriving back to the hotel that night, I apparently filled the entire sink with reddish orange vomit (dinner + 5 beers), and then fell asleep on the bed.
It was my hubby’s luck night since he even got to undress me (on top of cleaning up the mess), which was probably like trying to undress a very heavy mannequin that’s unable to cooperate.
The next day, I felt guilty and even ashamed for making such a huge @$$ out of myself. Shortly after arriving home, I emailed DJ P and apologized to him and the owners for behaving the way I did, to include calling the owner Merlin. I also thanked them for not calling the cops on me.
DJ P seemed really cool about it, and stated that such things happen. I hoped he truly meant what he said.
For a few months, I sporadically kicked myself in the @$$, still feeling regretful that I had ruined my chance to continuing performing in Tempe.
One seemingly magical day, I came to my senses, and chose to let go of lower energies like guilt, shame, and regret. I then received an insight to turn the so-called humiliating experience into a comedy skit, and I felt the excitement return; it was time to bounce back! ^_^
I even built up the courage to finally watch the other video that my husband recorded. I couldn’t believe that I performed much better that I had imagined; I didn’t seem like a drunk-@$$ on stage, but very confident.
I practiced my new skit for a couple of days, and then performed open mic comedy at Flagstaff for the first time. To my great surprise, there was laughter from the audience, and the new MC even mentioned that the new comedians did a great job that was a hard act to follow. I actually felt the most confident that time, though I still haven’t watched the video that my husband recorded.
That night, I felt so bold that I barely wore any makeup—just eyeliner and eyebrow pencil—and I usually wear those two items plus BB cream, face powder, eye shadow, mascara, and lipstick.
That’s never happened before at a public event, but simply taking that action felt liberating. Granted, I still enjoy wearing makeup whenever I feel like it since I love various forms of creativity and different shades and hues of colors; but it’s also nice to Be carefree about going practically bare-faced or completely bare-faced at times.
I’m going to watch the video of my performance at Flagstaff soon. But starting today—after publishing this post—I’m going to finish my new skit which I’m excited about. :-p
And tomorrow, I will perform open mic comedy at Firecreek Coffee Company again. [Change of plans; see update at bottom of post] The first time I performed there, a few months ago or so, they announced that they were discontinuing open mic, and that it would only be at another location nearby (SouthSide Tavern on every other Thursday).
However, today, after I received the download of ideas, I did a search in order to find other open mic comedy places in Flagstaff, and sure enough, FlagLaffs started open mic again at Firecreek (every other Tuesdays). Note: See additional updates at bottom of post
I’m also considering doing open mic at Hops on Birch one day. It’s for local musicians, but I figured I could share the poem/song that I wrote, and sing certain parts of it (without background music) while somewhat rapping/reading the other parts (to the best of my ability).
I’ve also considered performing at Sedona open mics, but I’m going to just go with the flow and only do so if I feel like it.
Though he may never read this message, I would like to deeply thank Victor Oddo for deeply inspiring his viewers to courageously take a bold step towards their passions, heart’s desires, and life purpose.
I’ve been sharing various comments thanking him for his messages within a lot of his videos, that are authentic, open-minded + open hearted, consciousness expanding, soul-igniting, heartfelt, encouraging, uplifting, empowering, and/or inspiring; so it’s okay if he never reads this.
One day, I intend on creating a YouTube video—for soon to be created channel Mulantis, that includes various playlists (to include, “A Message of Gratitude to Deeply Loving Souls”)—thanking him and others like him who I’m very grateful for their wonderful existence on planet Earth, especially:
- my two, older sister-like Korean cousins whom I spent a lot of summer and winter breaks with whenever my mother dropped me off at my Korean grandmother’s house (brief details of them, message to them, and pics of us shared in blog category, “A Message to My Inner-Child”)
- my deeply caring and very passionate high school art teacher/basketball coach Mr. Bruce Barker who believed in his students when no one else did (shared this story in the post, “Treasuring Awe-Inspiring Souls” under the sub-title, “Lessons Beyond Academics.”; revised pic shared in blog category, “A Message to My Inner-Child”)
- my high school true friend Juan’s loving mother Nilda Gomez, who was like a second mother to me during tough times in Cali
- my authentic, kind, deeply caring, blunt, silly, free-spirited, and fun Korean best friend Ue-Hyang from Annandale, Virginia (who also cursed a lot like me) from early to mid-90’s (I never had another girlfriend like her since then)
- my older sister-like friend Eun-ah un-nee—also from Annandale, Virginia from early to mid-90’s—who also shared much deep understanding, gentle kindness, generosity, help, humor, and fun.
- Spiritual Catalyst Teal Swan who has been very helpful with my soul growth/evolution, especially with inner-child word and shadow work
- and others…
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Updates
10/9/18
Found out this morning that Firecreek no longer does stand up comedy, just open mic for sharing creative ideas, so my husband and I may stop by and check it out on one of the Tuesdays, and I may share a poem(s) and/or poem/song. I’ll be performing open mic comedy at SouthSide Tavern this Thursday [see 3rd update below]. I noticed on their FB page today that it states, “the ONLY open mic exclusively for comedy in Flagstaff “]
10/10/18
It occurred to me that the feeling of being downloaded with uplifting ideas on the morning of 10/8th (the day before yesterday) was, without a shadow of a doubt, influenced by the New Moon that day. I recently watched Victor’s helpful video, “5 Things You Should Know About The NEW Moon (October 8th, 2018),” but then completely forgot about it. :-p
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Though I didn’t get much sleep on the night of 10/8th (the day before yesterday)—due to being wide awake, feeling inner-body vibrations, and experiencing very hot feet and itchy tingles all over my head (which I trust are kundalini ascension symptoms)—I felt fine all day yesterday (10/9th).
However COMMA one of my cats (Leo) decided to meow and yowl around 3 am this morning—something he sporadically does multiple times per month. He’s not ill (to include urinary infection), plus he’s very active and playful when he’s not napping, and he also drinks, eats, pees, and poop well. By the way, don’t look into his eyes too long and allow the super cuteness to fool you; he’s capable of being be a major pain in the @$$.
Our cats—both neutered, almost 3 year old gorgeous, female, black cat Shadow (used to be a semi-feral stray in our neighborhood) and a little over a year old adorable, male tabby cat Leo—have two sets of full bowls of purified water and alternating wet and dry foods and three different snacks, a frequently cleaned litter box, scratch posts, various toys, a catio, cat beds, connected cat tunnels, hiding spots, boxes, high places to climb, multiple windows to 
look out of, a balcony to hang out at, and plenty of non-bed, warm, soft, and comfortable places to sleep.
They also receive cuddles, petting, and communication throughout the day, and grooming when needed, so we’re still open to receive an answer as to why he behaves this way at times.
Leo can be very lovable and loving—like Shadow, who’s been amazingly well-behaved since we adopted her when she was about a year old—but sometimes, when he goes overboard with the yowling 
in the middle of the night, I feel like throwing him off the balcony (but no need to get panties, undies, and/or thongs in a wad since I won’t take such violent action 😉 ).
A water spray works wonders, but often times, I’m unable 
to fall back asleep after he wakes me up in the middle of the morning, which causes me to be irritable at times.
So I’m feeling really tired today, so much so that I didn’t feel like rehearsing my skit. It’s completely understandable since the built up sleep deprivation is catching up I suppose. So 
I’ll be performing open mic comedy at SouthSide Tavern next Thursday if I feel like it; if not, some other time. [I forgot, it’s every other Thursday, so 10/25th is next one]
Note: Noticed recurring sacred number code 4:33 pm on my laptop clock after typing the previous sentence, which was right above the date 10/10 (1010 reminds me of incoming higher frequencies, to includes downloads of higher knowledge and wisdom); click on => 
4:33 to see the activation code meaning that I often refer to from website ANGEL NUMBERS – Joanne Sacred Scribes, that I use as guidance tool while following my inner guidance first and foremost.]
I just received an insight that Leo’s excessive meowing and yowling in the middle of the night 
during certain nights might be influenced by the intense feeling energies of the higher frequencies, especially during certain days, like today is 10/10. I shared above what 1010 reminds me of whenever I notice it. I’m going to start recording his behavior to see if there’s some correlation.
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I shared the following comment with the creator of this very helpful video, “Massive SHIFT In Consciousness! – (7 Signs You’re Having One NOW!)“:
Victor, I strongly FELT your message within this very encouraging, uplifting, empowering, inspiring, and consciousness expanding (mind + heart opening) video. It’s not easy to pull off what you did—to so passionately and genuinely express (both verbally and non-verbally) in such a border-lining aggressive, YET, gentle loving, confident, and powerful way. Your raw authenticity definitely shines brightly, which I highly respect and admire about you.
This is probably TMI, but what the heck. In the middle of watching your video this morning, I had to drop a load; and in the midst of letting go of what no longer benefits me—and not just at the physical energy body level, but mental, emotional and spiritual as well—I received a download of additional uplifting ideas for a comedy skit that I’ve been working on recently, which made me smile and even giggle to myself. ^_^
Earlier this morning, I wasn’t feeling my best physically, so I trust that your vibrational frequency radiating out such high energies has helped me to get back in alignment with my Higher Self—aka Source/Soul/Spirit/I (God) AM (Goddess) Presence, etc.—and tune into the creative insights.
Thank you again for Being an invaluable gift to your Multidimensional self (earthly and otherworldly physical selves)/Self (Source: Soul/Spirit within), interconnected humanity, Mother Earth, merging worlds, and beyond.
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Updates
10/24/2018 (Day of Full Moon)
10/25/2018 (Day after Full Moon)
Next post, “Taking Quick Action for a Golden Opportunity to Overcome Some Worldwide Fears” (which includes part 2 of the full moon video shared in this post, and comment turned into post)
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