Insights Collected from Experience of Shame

Almost four years ago, shortly after I started my healing process, I had created a post titled, “Shame,” in my first sacred blog space, that I later transferred to my new blog world.

Since then, I’ve learned many valuable lessons, and I’ve always intuitively sensed that I would write lessons learned from this and other so-called “negative” life experience posts where I wasn’t able to gain insights from at the time.

If anyone happened to read any of the older posts, I wanted to ensure that they didn’t get discouraged from them, but rather, take something valuable with them that could help them to grow as well.

Back then, I didn’t know when I would make such changes, and what it would even look like, but the writing below is a start.

Note: Image on right found next to link bugguide.net (thank you)

My experience that I wrote about in the post, “Shame” is one of the many priceless gifts/blessings that I was blind to before (as my ego self/wounded inner-child/unhealed male energy/aspect of soul), but now I see with clarity (as True Self/I AM Presence/an already existing version of us all—regardless of gender— that is the healed, integrated and balanced male and female energies within, merged with Divine Spirit/All That Is (to create Trinity), that we tune into (align with) whenever we raise and maintain a high vibrational frequency.

Tina Kim (the so-called enemy in the post/link above) was my shadow—a reflection of my shadow self who manifested in another to reflect back to me unknown aspects within me—just some of the many “negative” traits and characteristics of humanity such as arrogance, hurtful intentions, facade, lack or absence of compassion, bitchiness, etc.

Our ego self represses, suppresses, denies, judges, criticizes, rejects, and/or disowns our shadow (unknown) aspect of our whole self because society (the collective ego) frowns upon them, and our ego self desires to be accepted and approved of by society in order to survive.

Note: Image on left found next to link lepcurious.blogspot.com (thank you)

At the time, my fearful and judgmental ego self was unable to see through Tina Kim’s ego self (my shadow), who was also suffering from a lack of unconditional acceptance and love for herself—to include but not limited to self-esteem issues, lack of self-compassion and a fear of the unknown.

Note: Image on right found next to link standingoutinmyfield.wordpress.com (thank you) 

I’ve learned that one who has high self-esteem, and is truly confident, has no need or desire to be arrogant, to prove to others that they’re “better,” or intentionally fluster another’s emotions (e.g., Tina’s comment “If I wanted your boyfriend, I could have him. But don’t worry, we’re just friends.”).

I’ve also learned that one who has self-compassion, will be able to have compassion for others; hence, will have no need or desire to humiliate another (e.g., Tina’s comment, “OH MY GOD…is that you Barbara? You work here? I could never work at a place like this! I attend Virginia Tech.”).

One who isn’t afraid of the unknown has no need or desire to judge others, places, or things that they’re not familiar with or don’t understand from the outer surface.

One who truly believes in their self-worth has no need or desire to brag to others, and make others feel less.

My ego self’s last words to Tina were “Well, I guess some of us are more fortunate than others.” This was a false belief created by both me and Tina’s ego selves.

Having more material wealth, physical attractiveness, popularity among others, a formal education at a college or university, and/or a facade (that cleverly deceives the truth) doesn’t make one more worthy than another.

Note: Image on left (above) found next to link bythedrop.com, and image on right (above) found next to link bugguide.net (thank you) 

Just being self/existing is worthy in itself; a birthright given by Prime Creator. Being worthy also includes, but is not limited to, having/doing/Being:

• spiritual wealth (which can also include material wealth used with much wisdom and discernment)
• soul beauty
• unconditional acceptance and love of self (not needing the acceptance and approval of society)
• self-study (to include self-awareness, self-respect, self-worth, self-confidence, self-forgiveness, self-compassion, self-empowerment, self-embrace, and self-love)
• character (from rising above many human sufferings) 

Once again, one set of traits, characteristics, and/or qualities doesn’t make one more worthy than another because the absence of the so-called “dark”/lower energy/dense/unhealed opposites are needed in order to give the loving qualities the depths of profound meaning.

At the time of this situation, my ego self experienced suffering in the forms of being challenged (in an unhealthy way), disrespected, hurt, belittled, and humiliated (by Tina) and punished (by God).

It was an experience that would have a negative impact on the way I perceived myself for a long time…until I was able to see the bigger picture.

Note: Image on right (above) found next to link wall.alphacoders.com, and image on left (above) found next to link www.betterphoto.com (thank you) 

Had my masculine and feminine energies within me been balanced at the time, I would’ve been able to experience clarity as my True Self, seeing Tina’s ego self/wounded inner-child/unhealed male energy within her for what it really was—an aspect of the soul that has forgotten its true nature.

I would’ve then chosen to see Tina for who she truly was—her True Self/her essence/a disguised angel/soul sister who is part of All That Is…

momentarily playing the role of my ego self’s “enemy” in order to helpfully trigger my soul’s hurtful energies stored deep within my DNA so that those “negative” energies have an opportunity to be recognized, acknowledged, embraced, healed and finally released.

As a healed and whole self, I realize Tina—as a disguised, so-called enemy—gave me an opportunity to learn more about who I truly am, by reflecting back to me who I chose not to be, because it didn’t resonate with me.

Not that I recall ever treating another in such a manner prior to that situation, but afterwards, I would never forget how the experiences made me feel; hence, I would choose not to ever treat another in such a manner.

Note: Image on right found next to link dragonflypoet.wordpress.com (thank you)

The character, Tina Kim’s ego self (my shadow/disguised enemy/soul sister) has helped me to learn (as a human being)/remember (as a soul) who I’m not, as well as who I am:

• I’m not competitive in an unhealthy way (only striving to improve myself)
• I don’t enjoy hurting others’ feelings or making them feel less (e.g., through planting seeds of doubt, belittling, humiliation, etc.)
• I have no desire to judge others as less just because they’re different, or because society says they’re less due to a “lower” financial status, social class, cultural background, race, gender, sexual preference, work position, education level, physical appearance, lifestyle, beliefs, choices, etc.
• I have no need or desire to brag to others what I have or who I am
• I Am Worthy

I now tell this energy labeled ‘shame,’ “I see you, I recognize you, I acknowledge you and I embrace you as a wounded aspect of my whole self, and I thank you from the depths of my heart for having served me well with my individual and collective soul growth/evolution.

By experiencing much shame throughout my life, I am now ready to experience the opposite—to fully and unconditionally love myself and others on a more profound level.

Energy labeled shame, now that you are transmuted and healed, I release you to be the free, formless cosmic love energy that you truly are.”

Note: Image on right (above) found next to link www.thetimes.co.uk, and image on left found next to link favim.com (thank you) release blk

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The short reading “Life Lessons“—from the very helpful website (Sacred Scribes – Joanne) that I often use for my angel numbers meanings, as well as other very interesting readings recently—is profound wisdom worth reviewing again and again until it becomes an inner-knowing.

Added February 10, 2015

After reading, “Divine Feminine: Heart of a Dove,” a thought popped into my mind to check what posts I had published in November of 2012, and I trusted that it was my Divinity within guiding me. As I scrolled down the various posts, a section within the post, We Are Amazing Beings of Love, caught my attention. It was under the sub-titles, “BEING Worthy…Then Feeling It” and “Recognizing a Deeper Truth.”

I had forgotten about the beautiful insights I had written about, which was basically an update to the post, “Shame.” It was a message from my Divine Feminine Goddess. Thank you Beloved I AM Presence/Christ within me.

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Added 2/12/2017: A very helpful video related to this theme => How To Overcome Shame -Teal Swan-