UPDATE (this yellow paragraph only; added 11-8-2015): I chose to receive a free report from numerologist.com the day before yesterday since I had never experienced it before. To my great surprise, it was eerily spot (as it said it would be), so I not only ordered the full report (after following my intuition), but I also listened to Kari Samuels’ “The Soul of Wealth: Clear Your Money Karma” audio class. I was amazed how spot on this message is as well with my recent situation (the series of stories below, and had to share it). UPDATE (this magenta paragraph only; added 11-10-2015):  The overall message in this video—Scorpio New Moon Wealth Forecast – 11:11 Scorpio Moon Of Miracles (Nov 11, 2015)—deeply moved me, because it provided further insight into what I’ve experienced lately, even though I didn’t understand all the details of astrology. I trust that my soul/Spirit within knows all this information though my ego self/personality self didn’t remember them. Thank you Tania Gabrielle.

Note: This conclusion story has been divided into three posts (with the last two titles replaced with post, “Greatest Gift of the Universe Within: To Love All Aspects of Self Unconditionally)—1) Shiny Object! 2) Disguised Gifts from Shadow Self and Ego Self, and 3) Quitting vs Liberating—and stems from the following stories (in order by bullet number):

1. Finding Power Within as a Minority of One
2. Chaotic Experiences Leading to Insight of Male/Female Christ Within
3. Answers to Questions from a Passionately Seeking Heart
4. Recognizing and Acknowledging My Own Judgmental Ways and Loving Ways
5. To Be Disempowered by Others OR Empowered from Within (though this post doesn’t appear to be related, I realized that the lesson within it does make it related to this series of stories)

“Follow your heart and choose what brings relief. The feeling of relief is a vibrational sign saying you are moving in the right direction […]” Ascension Symptoms by website Fun Loving Spirits

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Ever since I learned how our powerful beliefs affect what we experience in our physical reality, I wondered what some of mine were that my conscious mind was not aware of yet.

I noticed throughout the past that whenever I wonder about something, I receive answers in Divine perfect timing and order, which I trust is from Divinity within.

About a couple of months ago, I found out that a veteran can use the post 9/11 G.I Bill for cosmetology school, and I thought that this field might be interesting since it involves using creativity, which I highly resonate with.

I wondered why I hadn’t come upon this information as soon as I got out of the Army, and the answer that I immediately received was that it wasn’t the perfect time to have those experiences.

I had already made up my mind that I would never return to a college or university again due to various reasons I had already written about in this blog, to include the post, “Following Heart Over Mind.”

In addition, it’s been (I think) a few years now since I added a “donate” button to my blog—because I learned that those who often give need to learn to receive as well, in order to Be Balance—but I haven’t made a single penny from it, except the $7 that my husband donated.

I trust that there’s a very perfect reason for me not receiving monetary rewards for my work—more than likely related to a belief(s) that stems from unworthiness, a fear of money and/or a fear of power, which I’m working on fully releasing.

But it’s been quite a challenge at times to believe that my work is actually benefiting self and others since all I often receive as feedback is spam comments who leave unrelated messages that I end up emptying out.

I was just reminded that I need to always validate self/Self/SELF, and not be concerned about others’ opinions, and whether or they accept or approve of me, and that “as I heal, others heal…and as others heal, I heal…since we are all interconnected as The One. Thank you Beloved I AM Presence/Christ within.

I still love and have a deep passion to continue doing spiritual work; however, I noticed that it hasn’t been that helpful in the monetary department; and money still has power in this physical world, the last time I checked.

Therefore, even though I practically completed my first book, I chose to self-publish it at a later time (at least that was my thought at the time) since the packages seemed pricey, and holidays are coming, along with other celebrations for our five kids (both from our first marriages).

I sensed that I (my ego aspect of self) was being poverty consciousness (identified old and outdated belief) by being impatient with finances, and choosing to start another career that pays, rather than fully trusting Source/Universe within to provide me with all that I ever need at every moment.

However, I took that route anyway since I didn’t feel as though Spirit within me was generously supporting me financially at the time (due to lack of faith)—just giving me enough to get by—though I often trust that I receive other forms of abundance, prosperity and wealth on other levels of my being, and I’m very grateful for them:

• physical (activation of once dormant DNA, though don’t know how much yet; very noticeable inner body vibrations, sometimes intense and becoming outer body vibrations; rapid healing at times; more youthful appearance than actual age, often high tolerance to pain, ultra-sensitive nature, developing ESP/psychic skills, etc.)
• mental (positive thoughts, positive reminders, positive affirmations, insights, etc.)
• emotional (especially healing, loving, joyful energies, the assistance to help me to unconditionally accept/love all aspects of self, etc.)
• and spiritual (Divine Wisdom, higher frequencies of Cosmic Light and Love; hearing various tones in both ears, mainly right, to include musical sounding ones; seeing sparks of white light at my left peripheral vision every now and then; often experiencing Divine synchronicity; often seeing sacred number codes/angel numbers/truth codes; signs, outer symbols, sacred geometry, symbolic dream messages, seemingly effortless astral travel during meditation, often dreaming of animal spirit guides, sometimes having otherworldly adventures during dream state, visiting parallel realities during dream state, seeing the movement of almost transparent energy waves in the air once in a blue moon, etc.).

In addition, I didn’t want my husband to carry the burden of being the only one with a “real” job that makes money. So I convinced myself that I would turn this opportunity into something I could enjoy, as well as earn money from.

I also thought that I could share my spiritual knowledge and wisdom whenever I had a chance while working, and only if the timing felt perfect.

After doing some research on different cosmetology schools, I noticed that I was drawn to the Paul Mitchel School (PM School).

It mainly stemmed from reading about their teaching philosophy, which is based on the foundation of the Multiple Intelligence Theory developed by Howard Gardner, Ph.D., Professor of Education at Harvard University.

I highly resonate with the truth that there are different types of intelligence that often go unrecognized and unappreciated by general society—who often place more focus on the strengths of the logical mind/left brain rather than incorporating the strengths of the intuitive heart/right brain.

The overall school system from pre-K through post graduate school, and standardized tests like SATs, ACTs, and certain IQ tests, only focus on certain areas rather than looking at the combined, big picture of a person’s potential.

Initially, I was going to visit a few schools prior to making a choice; however, I asked my Beloved within for a sign, and sure enough, shortly afterwards, I found out that my adult daughter had received a great haircut from PM School, which was the first time I had heard her go to that place.

After given the roundabout by the front desk clerk—to include being disconnected once—I was able to leave a message with admin to schedule a visitation. However, though I had left two messages in-between a couple of days, no one returned my call.

So one day, I asked my husband to call from his cell phone and leave a message, and he received a phone call right away.

I shared with my husband that usually, if there’s a list of phone messages (where one isn’t more urgent than another), you call back in order of the calls that was received so that the person who called a fews days ago isn’t continuing to wait for a return call.

I was like, “This is some BULLshit,” and I wrote the manager an email and informed her that there has to be a better system—that a potential student should not have to hunt down someone, leave more than one phone message to schedule a visit with the school, and not even receive a call back after several days.

I added something to the effect that there should be someone else who could step in as a back-up in case the main admin person isn’t able to return calls.

The manager emailed me and said that she would like to give me call and talk about it. It turned out that the other admin person had unexpectedly quit one day, hence, only one person was trying to fill the shoes of two. In addition, the school was off another day.

However, the manager did admit that that was their issue, not mine, and that I, or anyone else, shouldn’t have to go through that process.

I completely understood, but I felt as though she was using an interrogative tone by aggressively asking back-to-back questions as to the specific dates and times that I had called. It had already been several days by then, so I had a hard time recalling the specifics. And it wasn’t so much what she said, but how she said it.

I strongly sensed that she thought I was exaggerating what happened because I couldn’t recall right away the exact dates and time.

What I noticed about me for a while now (for about a year or so), dates and times have been more like a blur; I often get confused what day of the week it is, what the exact date is, and time goes by either really fast (when I’m alone and being creative) or super slow (while at PM School, 2.5 weeks felt like 2.5 months).

I trust this is due to adjusting to the presence of the higher dimensions within while simultaneously living and being on the 3D physical Earth since time and space aren’t limitations in higher planes of existence.

This is especially fascinating whenever I happen to catch a glimpse of certain number sequences—such as 1:11, 2:22, or 3:33—while it’s counting down on the kitchen clock’s timer.

It’s as though time slowed down at that very moment so that I could notice these sacred number codes. I always express gratitude to my Beloved I AM Presence/Christ within for all Divine synchronicity that I experience.

In addition, while in one of the most intense car accidents I had ever experienced in 2008 (I included the whole story within my blog a while back), I looked to my right, and saw the large vehicle come at me in very slow motion, like a scene from a movie.

I then heard the loudest crashing sound I had ever heard in waking reality, and my insides felt as though they were  going to fly out of my abdomen area. I recall being in awe, and then being in a lot of pain, more as the day went by.

During the first week of school, the manager, V, stopped by our small classroom of nine students, and gave us an introduction of herself.

At one point, she suggested to the class that if we ever have a problem with someone, that we should talk to them directly rather than go to higher up.

I strongly sensed that it was an indirect message toward me, but that’s my own projection since we all have the choice to choose the meaning of what we experience in life.

The way I usually operate, I’m pretty straight forward and I go directly to the source; however, I wasn’t able to get a hold of the admin person in order to tell her directly, so I took the second option.

However, regardless if V’s suggestion in her introduction felt indirect and connected to my phone conversation with her, I chose to make peace of the situation with the admin person by admitting to her how I’ve learned to give another a benefit of a doubt in such situations.

Afterall, the visitation of the school turned out great, and even made me excited about the new journey—like rays of sunshine piercing through dark clouds.

Miranda—the admin person who hadn’t returned my calls until my husband called her—turned out to be very informative, genuinely friendly, professional, outgoing, and very tuned into her creative and intuitive side; her sparkling personality radiated through her outer beauty.

After apologizing to her for having overreacted about the missed phone calls—-not thinking bigger….that other factors could play into why someone’s not returning a call soon—I shared the wonderful observation I had made of her during our visitation of the school.

Miranda thanked me with a gentle and almost sad look in her eyes, and when I went to shake her hand, she insisted that we hug, which felt so powerful, sincere, peaceful and joyful.

I was grateful for that precious moment, and realized that I no longer need to feel bad about how it all started since it was a blessing in disguise.

Had that entire, seemingly unpleasant, interconnected situation not happened with Miranda and the manager V, I would not have had the opportunity to experience how wonderful it feels to make peace with Miranda; we might have just been another face to one another—neither liking or disliking one another.

Granted,  I also chose to make peace with the manager, Valerie, but her response to my admission of not seeing the bigger picture was like night and day compared to Miranda’s loving response—V’s very rapid squint of her eyes, flared nostrils, and tight, quick smile felt distant, cold and judgmental.

During Valerie’s intro to our class, I noticed that overall, she seemed friendly, determined, persistent, funny, outgoing, and clever (i.e., when she started out, she was willing to take any job, to include taking out the trash—in order to work her way up once her foot was in); and the negative vibes I had felt from her throughout the phone conversation effortlessly melted away like butter.

However, when I saw her several times afterwards in the hallways through the rest of the two and half weeks I was there, she seemed like a completely different person—either looked pissed or lost in her cell phone.

I often noticed her (during breaks or at lunch time) just slowly walking around the school with her head down, staring at her phone, seemingly oblivious to her surrounding—-to include many students intermingling with one another and walking past her as though they were invisible to one another.

I wondered why, as a manager of the school, she wouldn’t want to interact with the students while roaming the hallways—noticing, expressing greetings (in a friendly manner), smiling, acknowledging (their existence), joking around, uplifting, complimenting, encouraging, motivating, inspiring, empowering, and much more. Perhaps she does sometimes, it’s just that I haven’t noticed it.

Granted, once, after giving a presentation to one Cosmetology class and our Esthetics class during week 3 of the course, V excitedly asked the classroom, “Aren’t you guys excited about this event?!”

However, even the crickets had mentally and emotionally checked out of there probably from the moment she started. I looked around and only saw facial expressions of sleepiness, boredom, or apathy. I kind of felt sorry for V at the moment, but then I quickly got over it.

One girl, who happened to be sitting right in front of V, noticeably fell asleep, and V had to wake her up with a tight smile on her face and while practically talking through her teeth to wake her up.

It was understandable that V had no positively responding audience, the presentation was about getting students to go out and sell 45 bags of products each before the deadline, and the first X number of students who sold them would get a chance to go to Disney World (location of event); and the goal was to sell a total of 6,000 bags to family and friends. 

To my great surprise, no one seemed to really care about it. I knew why I wasn’t interested, but I thought that the younger students would be.

The entire presentation felt insincere, pretentious, manipulative, and very pressured, and it appeared as though I wasn’t the only one who saw through the bright and colorful video clip of repeating images of fashion models walking down the runway, people getting their hair and make-up done, and flashes of John Paul DeJoria himself.

Or, perhaps Valerie didn’t have a cheerful, responsive audience because I wasn’t the only one who often noticed her absent-minded, physical body roaming through the hallway; maybe others had also experienced her seemingly unconcerned attitude toward them on a daily basis. Actions do speak volumes, so I wouldn’t be surprised it this was so.

Rewinding back: During the visitation of the school, after Miranda provided us with much information, she gave my husband and I a tour—with the exception of the Esthetics course, because at that point, I was only interested in the Cosmetology class.

Right before doing the final paperwork and paying some fees, I decided to take the Esthetics course to set a solid foundation, and then take the Cosmetology one afterwards.

Before we entered the building, I noticed how the outer design looked so modern, clean, organized, professional, and fashionable with its black walls, the many ginormous windows that practically make the sides of the building appear wall-less, and the huge, professional images of models.

As we entered the building, the floor setting (school version of a salon) had the same vibes as the outer impression, but just busier with the loud music, lots of movement, and sounds of people conversing with one another.

However, I noticed that the gathering room (to include where guest presentations are given) and the classrooms seemed so lifeless—dull white walls with some hand-made posters here and there, hardly any color or decorations in the rooms, and no windows.

Even the vibes within the rooms felt dense, probably due to the built-up of various degrees of energy from people, lack of fresh air circulating, and the absence of natural light.

It instantly reminded me of the NSA (National Security Agency), underground cubicle land in Hawaii while I was stationed there.

Servicemen and Servicewomen from all branches (especially with the job title of analysts—MOS 98C—and cryptologic linguists—MOS 98G/now 35P—in our section) complained of that lifeless place without sunlight and fresh air, and it was understandable since it seemed to suck the living soul out of you after the two year mark (for a three-year tour at that strategic unit).

A good number of fellow soldiers that I knew from AIT (Advanced Individual Training–school for one’s particular field/job) and/or my first unit got out after their first enlistment; most of them were very intelligent and well-rounded, so it wasn’t a surprise that they figured out that the systems—whether it’s the military or the NSA—are very questionable.

I wondered why the PM School building itself looked so sharp on the outside, along with the front entrance area, the admin office, and a couple of hallways, but yet, there was an obvious lack of attention and care given to the classrooms.

A phrase then popped into my mind, “Shiny on the outside, but not so much on the inside” which instantly reminded me of the military with its super shiny Army values, “strict” rules and regulations (that aren’t always followed), and inspiring recruiting slogans like, “Be All That You Can Be,” “Army of One,” and “Army Strong”.

While deployed in Iraq (for my second job/MOS 35M) in 2008, I learned from the oldest and most experienced, civilian interrogator there, that the greatest deception is from those who cleverly mix truths with lies, since that can create much confusion.

I then wondered if the famous and wealthy PM organization being dedicated to various works of charity—like the Catholic Church doing various works of charity—had anything to do with what I had learned.

It’s not that they—the PM organization—can’t afford providing nice classroom settings, where students spend a lot of time learning, so I wondered, “Why not keep the professional appearance consistent throughout the whole school?”

The Catholic church—with its enormous amount of wealth and fancy architectural buildings, statues and artwork—has the ability to feed all the poor in the world, but they choose not to, even though they have no problem collecting 10% plus from their members on a weekly basis after instilling much fear mixed with love into their lost minds and hearts.

I noticed a pattern throughout my life, that whenever I had a strong gut feeling (my intuition/inner guidance system), I was spot on about that particular place, situation, person, event, thing, etc.

My fearful ego self’s thought was, “Now, don’t even think about leaving this school as well, the way you did with the university. If you do it again, VA will probably be like, ‘We’re done providing you with the Post 9/11 G.I Bill since you keep changing your mind crazy woman.'”

However, I had that very familiar gut feeling that I was only going to be there to learn certain life lessons, which explains why on the forms we had to fill out, I answered that my main goal was to learn life lessons, rather than some other “cosmetology career” related answer.

And on one of the forms where we had to write a one page intro about ourselves, they further asked for personal info about self (liked, dislikes, hobbies, etc.), and when I noticed that they also requested for the good and the bad, I was instantly reminded of my blog’s intro on its homepage.

I could tell that my ego self didn’t feel fully comfortable about the idea because it was thinking that sharing my very unusual blog with the school’s admin office would make me vulnerable to much judgment, criticism, ridicule, condemnation, and gossip by all those who had access to my forms—even though it stated that all the information on the forms was confidential—if they chose to read any of it.

But I strongly sensed from my heart that I was meant to share much Light/information/knowledge and Love/wisdom with others, especially if they asked; so I did.

When I later found out from the higher ups that gossip was a big problem at this school, despite it being prohibited, I (ego aspect of self) very briefly became concerned, thinking, “What have you done? I told you it wasn’t a good idea to share your blog with this school.”

But then I chose to let go of that fearful thought—to be transmuted and healed—-and to just trust in the Divine Plan within me—something we all have (our Divine blueprint). 

It is my intention to fully and confidently trust all of my senses and feelings (language of the soul) at every moment…effortlessly.

It is my intention to fully and confidently trust in the Divine Plan within me…effortlessly.

After completing this post the first time (prior to proof reading for spelling and grammatical errors to the best of my ability), I noticed 3:22 on my laptop clock, and the following is one interpretation (because there can be other meanings) from a guidance tool— website, ANGEL NUMBERS – Joanne Sacred Scribes—that I often use (only taking in words of wisdom that highly resonates with me; click on number link below for detailed meanings of each number):

Angel Number 322 is a message from your angels to have self-belief, faith and trust in yourself and the angelic and spiritual realm, and maintain trust in the processes of the Universe. 

Listen to your intuition and angelic guidance and have full faith in the messages and soul promptings you receive. Know that you are exactly where you are meant to be.

Angel Number 322 indicates that the angels are fully supporting and encouraging you on your life path. Stay positive and do not allow any negative energies or feelings to hinder or obstruct you.

Push through any negative emotions with the knowledge that you are on your Divine life path and all is going to Divine plan. A positive attitude will reap positive results.

Angel Number 322 suggests that you are working in alignment with the energies of the angels, Ascended Masters and Archangels, and they are helping and guiding you through your next life steps and actions.

Maintain a diplomatic, harmonious and caring attitude towards others and you will find that all you need will fall into place for you in Divine right time.

Use your natural communication skills, creativity and humour to ease your own stress and that of others. Learn to feel happiness and joy no matter what is happening around you.

Number 322 relates to number 7 (3+2+2=7) and Angel Number 7.

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Added 1/1/2016