UPDATE (this yellow paragraph only; added 11-8-2015): I chose to receive a free report from numerologist.com the day before yesterday since I had never experienced it before. To my great surprise, it was eerily spot (as it said it would be), so I not only ordered the full report (after following my intuition), but I also listened to Kari Samuels’ “The Soul of Wealth: Clear Your Money Karma” audio class. I was amazed how spot on this message is as well with my recent situation (the series of stories below, and had to share it). UPDATE (this magenta paragraph only; added 11-10-2015): The overall message in this video—Scorpio New Moon Wealth Forecast – 11:11 Scorpio Moon Of Miracles (Nov 11, 2015)—deeply moved me, because it provided further insight into what I’ve experienced lately, even though I didn’t understand all the details of astrology. I trust that my soul/Spirit within knows all this information though my ego self/personality self didn’t remember them. Thank you Tania Gabrielle.

November 1, 2015

This past week and weekend (as well as the week and weekend prior) was overall draining physically and mentally (from studies and standing up often), but mostly emotionally and spiritually.

Yesterday, I basically snapped from experiencing enough BS from the majority of my classmates, and talked to my instructors and adviser.

I even left class shortly after lunch, since it was an option and we were only getting ready to make posters as a group. As I was getting ready to leave, my classmates shouted in a very lovable tone, “Bye Barbara!”

The fake, super-friendly act made me want to, not throw up in my mouth a little bit, but vomit all of my stomach contents; most of them have never talked to me in that tone, or anything close to it.

I was ready to drop the course and move on by following my path of excitement and passion–and whatever that path was, I strongly felt at the time that this particular Esthetics class wasn’t it.

Afterall, I’ve learned that following our path of excitement and passion is a sure sign that we’re in alignment with our soul/Spirit within—on the “right” path so to speak.

My current instructor—who seemed personable and caring at first—yawned a few times while listening to me during our talk (perhaps she was tired), and made it very obvious through her other forms of non-verbal cues, tone of voice, lack of eye contact, and choice of words that she could care less of what I had to say.

At one point, she raised her voice at me again, the way she did when I made my first “mistake” which the school calls a “discovery”, which I included in a letter I wrote her.

She asked, “DO YOU FEEL SAFE IN THE CLASS?” which threw me off, and I replied, “Why wouldn’t I feel safe? She then toned down and continued, “Do you feel comfortable in the class?” and I replied, “No.”

I didn’t realize it then, but my husband later shared with me that she was more than likely doing the CYA (Cover Your Ass), like a checklist of what to say during a situation that needs to be resolved.

The irony of her memorized, formal words was that it wasn’t effective. I trust that communication from the intuitive heart space is way more helpful that saying things from the logical mind out of sheer obligation so that one doesn’t risk being reprimanded by their superiors, or possibly losing their job.

At that moment, I was reminded of what had happened recently. One day, guest visitors—parents with their daughter—sporadically stopped by the class to check it out.

I noticed that my instructor seemed to transform into a beautiful butterfly while eloquently conversing with them—very professional, so caring and passionate about teaching and the school itself, and using motivating and inspiring words.

Right after a family left the class, H (a classmate who’s usually not outspoken) asked our instructor in a lovable tone (as usual), “Why don’t you talk to us like that?”

At that very moment, a thought popped into my head while I was in a calm, neutral, merely observing state; and that thought was, “Because it’s a facade” which explained why she didn’t even seem to care to memorize all the first names of only nine students toward the end of the first week.

Once, she shared with the class how amazing she thought the owner of the school was, and how bad she wanted him to notice her (and not as her ego, she added).

I thought to self, if I was blown away by some role model, I would do my best to live by that person’s teachings, to include his/her philosophy on how to most effectively teach students and genuinely care for them.

What was interesting to me was that my soon to be instructor, Carissa (for another phase in the course, and currently the instructor for the senior Esthetics class)—who didn’t seem personable and caring at first—was deeply understanding and compassionate when we had our talk.

Carissa even shared some helpful, expanded perspectives, as well as a very personal story, which made me realize at that very moment that I was meant to share certain information with her despite what my ego self judged as a “bad idea” since I didn’t know them. I was very grateful for that moment.

The adviser was also very open-minded, personable, understanding and wise, and even shared her own personal story that helped me to better understand my own.

Toward the end of our conversation, she suggested that I think it over this weekend so that I don’t make an overly emotionally decision.

I agreed, and added that emotions that guide from the heart, and that stem from love, should be followed, unlike emotions that stem from fear.

I wondered whether or not continuing the Esthetics course was the path that most highly benefited my accelerated, individual and collective soul growth and evolution, so I visited the “Answer Room” (suggested by the Pleiadians in the book, Path of Empowerment).

I asked my Beloved I AM Presence/Christ within if this course was the best path, and if not, to let me know in a very obvious way. I expected an answer within three days, so I trust that it will be so.

The truth is, I’m no longer excited about this class, and I have no desire to see my classmates and instructor again. I’m no longer turned off by them, I’m just not interested in getting to know them anymore then what I’ve already witnessed.

I wish them well, just without me in the picture. I, like everyone else, deserve the very best in life, to include being around overall positive, loving people.

But perhaps that’s my ego self’s way of thinking with its lower, physical mind, and my Beloved/Higher Self has better ideas since it has the ability to see above the dark valley; so I’ll be more patient.

It seemed strange to me that the senior Esthetics class—that our class gets the opportunity to interact with at times—is so warm, genuinely friendly, accepting, informative, and kind, but yet, most of the members in my own class seem so cold, distant, unaccepting, very outwardly judgmental towards others, snobbish, catty, and gossipy without all the facts, creating much separation between groups, and even two-faced (smiling to another’s face while rolling their eyes behind their back).

I initially thought it was due to some of them being in the twenties through thirties, but the senior class also has young females who aren’t that way; so I realize it’s just a personality/ego self thing.

On Halloween morning, I was surprised that most of my classmates dressed up. The question was brought up a few times by others throughout the week, but only V stated that she was going to dress up.

Two days before Halloween, V stated with a sigh that she was the only one dressing up, so I told her that I would dress up too, even though I wasn’t planning to initially.

Last year, I had dressed up as a magical, fun witch—with purple hair and purple and pink glitter make-up—for the little ones to enjoy in our neighborhood, and had my black pot, broomstick, and table of “magic” potions for them to “try”—basically cups filled with various colored water with fake spiders, eyeballs, insects, and worms in them.

Anyway, I thought why not just wear a black dress (that came below my knees), the black hat with attached purple wig, purple and black striped stockings, a shiny black big belt, and bring my broom to enhance the costume.

Kendall, who was kind enough to acknowledge my custom, shared with me how she liked how I brought a broom, to which I jokingly replied (since Kendall has a great sense of humor), “It’s so that I can fly away later shouting, “Deuces MFs!” She laughed, while the majority of my classmates ignored my presence as usual.

What I found fascinating was that every single female classmate that I strongly sensed was catty (total of 5), actually wore an outfit within the feline family, to include my instructor. It was as if it was a confirmation from my Beloved within that I was spot on.

In addition, on the night of October 30th, I had the following dream:

Last night or this morning, I had a very vivid, real-life like dream of riding a horse, but then our path being blocked by some unknown cattle-like creatures.

We took another route, and I saw a lioness in front of us to the left side, and she pounced on a white (or white and black) dog (on my right side) and bit its neck. I recall holding onto either the horse’s mane or its side to either ensure I was safe, or to guide it; maybe even both.

I went to the “Answer Room” to receive an answer from my Beloved within three days. The insight that I received was that me riding the horse was symbolic of seeking full freedom (which the horse spirit guide ultimately represents) while on my soul journey.

The cattle-like creatures that were blocking my way as obstacles represented the majority of my classmates who often behave like a herd of sheep—unable to function independently outside of the group (the safe bubble), , and constantly hopping on the band wagon and following the next best thing .

The lioness on my left side is the lioness spirit guide within me, an extension of the Divine Feminine within (The Great Mother/Queen Goddess) since the left side correlates with the right brain of feminine energies and consciousness.

I trust that the lioness biting the white dog’s neck–who was on my right side, correlating with the left brain/ego self—is her message for me to “destroy” what no longer highly serves my soul evolution—basically, let go of being friendly, forgiving (over and over again), and loyal to those (my classmates) who don’t appreciate it—friendly, forgiving and loyal being positive qualities of the dog spirit guide within.

I had even wrote down and memorized all of their names on the first day of class, and even called them by their names whenever I spoke to them; however, it was apparent that they could care less.

Perhaps my instructor not remembering some of their names, even towards the end of the week might have reminded them to appreciate those who do put an effort towards acknowledging their existence.

In addition, I stopped saying, “Good morning (or Have a good evening)” to one of the front desk members because Andie was habitually snobbish. Ray (a gay guy) who’s the other front desk personnel, is like a ray of sunshine…just genuinely friendly.

I gave her a benefit of a doubt at first, but then I noticed that she discriminates who she’s nice to.

Once, after saying my greeting to her, I asked her if they had the sign-in sheet available since the other days they didn’t, and we’re supposed to manually sign in as well as a back-up.

I then asked if she had a pen on her so that I wouldn’t have to dig into my huge bag full of books, notebook, index cards, etc., and she snapped at me with a, “Can’t you see I’m looking for one?!”

I gently replied, “Hey, I was just asking alright? Nevermind.” Sometimes, I wonder why people discriminate who they’re nice to especially when I don’t know them and they supposedly don’t know me.

But then, something else happens which seems to reveal a widdle biddy secret.

One day, I saw Andie and my instructor all buddy-buddy, and it made me wonder if Andie being overly bitchy towards me (though she doesn’t know me) had anything to do with my instructor’s influence.

In the past, I’ve been spot on with such observations and intuitive hunches. Either way, I’m done with both of them renting space in my mind; I have more important things and people to focus on and enjoy.

Well, the BS within the classroom had gradually built up over the past two weeks (that felt much much longer), but I had quite enough after what happened yesterday afternoon (Halloween Day).

I wondered if Halloween Day itself brought about more intense energies; I’ll find out one day in Divine perfect timing and order.

Before lunch time, I returned from shadowing (like OJT: On the Job Training) a member from the senior Esthetics class who was servicing a real client, I noticed that I was the last one to finish our assigned tasks.

However, I chose not to feel bad since I was observing a long facial plus massage; plus, I had volunteered to help wash all the implements and put up the laundry.

As I was entering the classroom, my classmates were having a blast laughing while they were playing a game.

However, as soon as I sat down, their facial expressions changed and the room became overall quiet, with one person talking since it was their turn.

Even our instructor noticed the drastic change in the atmosphere and asked something to the effect, “You guys were having so much fun, what happened?”

It didn’t take a genius to figure it out—I noticed that I’m often the “which one of these don’t belong with the others?” (If I recall correctly, from the TV show Sesame Street).

I have no doubt that my instructor was fully aware of this as well, but I suppose she had the need to put it out there just in case it went over my head. It wasn’t so much what she said, but how she said it that gave it away.

In addition, our class had ordered pizza for both our class and the senior class since it was Halloween day, and when the pizzas arrived, two of the classmates placed them in the break room for both classes to share.

However, while waiting for our instructor to release us to lunch, everyone (with the exception of one classmate/Kendall) started bashing the senior class, each making their own snobbish comments about how they (the senior class) had no intention to chip in, even though some said they would, how they’re probably going to eat all the pizza without us, etc.

At that moment, I intuitively knew that what I was about to share was going to create some friction, awkwardness (for them) and eventually complete silence; and sure enough it happened.

I merely introduced another perspective in a gentle, yet, assertive manner, that we all saw how busy the senior class was with taking care of actual, real clients. I continued that perhaps we could give them a benefit of doubt since they seem like genuinely kind and good people.

I shared that the senior class more than likely didn’t have an intention to not chip or, or even eat all the pizza—leaving us with none—and that we didn’t need to worry about it.

Regardless of what I shared, or how I went about expressing the truth, it was very obvious that they didn’t accept it.

They all had displeased expressions on their faces, and looked down at their phones—a frequent occurrence, even cutting each other off sometimes in the middle of their own conversations in order to become lost within one’s cell phone.

When I dug deep, I understood that their unloving words and actions stemmed from fear (fear of not having enough/poverty consciousness); however, I don’t regret what I said or how I said it because my intention stemmed from love—to stand up for those who were very kind to me when I started this course, despite me not being in their class.

My husband brought up a good point later than night. When I shared with him my inability to understand why they were so unaccepting of my introduction of another perspective, he stated that they more than likely thought that I was taking sides (i.e., supporting the senior class rather than them), and since I did so (in their eyes), that could mean that I would talk shit about them to the senior class.

But I haven’t, though I had plenty of opportunities to do so. He also added that those who gossip usually assume that others gossip as well, even though they didn’t witness it themselves.

When my instructor released us for lunch yesterday, my classmates rushed over to the break room like an out of control, desperate stampede. It was understandable because they were probably very hungry and antsy.

As I made my way over there, I noticed my soon-to-be instructor of the senior class, and I informed her that the pizzas were in the break room, and if she could just remind the seniors to chip in when they get a chance; she agreed with a smile.

Before entering the classroom, I heard much talking and laughter. As soon as I entered, it was as if a train came to an abrupt halt.

I told my classmates that I had just asked Carissa to remind the seniors to chip in. I then mentioned that the paper towels (that I had brought from the bathroom) were for all of us, to which I received a pissy reply, “Just leave it there” from H, which surprised me because she was nice until I had a talk with V the day before yesterday; they hang out, which explained the sudden shift, since H is a follower.

While eating my slice of pizza, there weren’t even sounds of crickets. So I enjoyed one piece, and left the break room. I know where I’m not welcomed, and although I have the right to stay in that break room just as the next person, I wished for them to continue their talk and laughter in my absence.

If I were to say that my feelings weren’t hurt (again), I would be lying. Regardless of one’s age, no one deserves to be continually disrespected, ignored, shunned out from a group, and rejected as a human being.

I strongly sensed that the leader of the sheep herd within our group had managed to convince the others to treat me the way she treats me now due to her own insecurities (which she slipped and unknowingly admitted during a conversation).

I went to the bathroom because I felt pain in my chest, and an intense surge of emotions erupting like a volcano. I felt childish when I started quietly bawling in the stall, and wondered why I couldn’t handle this situation even though I had been through much worse situations (to include child abuse and rape) and much more negative people (especially in the Army). Note (inserted today, 11/11/15): It is my intention to fully release all judgment about my highly sensitive nature, and to full-heartedly embrace this ability as a great strength. THE ARCTURIANS – YOUR HIGHLY SENSITIVE NATURE . Inserted 6/10/2016: A very empowering video related to this experience (5:45), “Embrace Your Dark Side“ by sacredsarrah

“Some particular symptoms that many feel include an increased sense of vulnerability and tearfulness. As our true nature emerges it is tender and raw for it has been hidden for so long […]” Ascension Symptoms by website Fun Loving Spirits

Our adviser brought up a good point that I hadn’t thought of—she said that I probably had more than enough from this lifetime, and that this particular situation was that final button so to speak.

It was true, I thought that I was ready for positive life experiences and being surrounded by much loving souls; hence, I was excited about this course.

However, I started to wonder if the rest of my life was going to be filled with much darkness and fear energy due to my inability to fuly change from within, thus, seeing my outer world reflect my inner world.

Last night, while lying in bed with no desire whatsoever to even continue with this seemingly hell-like life, I visited the “Answer Room” (suggested by the Pleiadians in the book, Path of Empowerment), and asked my Beloved I AM Presence/Christ within, “What more do you want from me? I feel so drained and hopeless. Are you truly helping me, or am I wasting my time asking you for assistance?” I asked for answer within three days, and we shall see.

I was later reminded that despite not being able to connect with those in my own class, I had opportunities to connect with the senior class, who showed much gratitude and appreciation for whatever I shared with them—a happy greeting (that most of my classmates don’t even respond to with at least a smile), encouragement, compliments, a helping hand, uplifting words, humor (saying smartass stuff like, “You working hard or hardly working?” to playfully mess with them), etc.

To my great surprise, a veteran (former active duty) from the senior Esthetics class—who looks like a very intimating, black, female drill sergeant and has a tough demeanor, but is very nice—recently approached me with teary eyes and gave me a big hug, just for writing her a small note and sharing a couple of tea bags (that I had put in a ziplock bag) that would benefit her health condition.

In addition, I also quickly bonded with another member from the senior class, Loretta, who’s so positive, loving, outgoing, humorous, honest, genuinely kind, and I have no doubt much more. She’s a little older than me, but doesn’t appear so, and we both agreed that talking to one another seems effortless and so unbelievably comfortable, as though we’ve always known one another.

Both Iris and Loretta made me feel so welcome on the first day of class; I’ll always remember their genuine kindness. Sometimes, I forget to see what truly matters, but I don’t blame myself because it’s not easy being surrounded by a majority of so-called haters who don’t know better as ego selves.

As much as I focused on blocking them out, and only focusing on my studies, I noticed that they’re like a train wreck…challenging to avoid noticing.

Plus, there are only nine of us, so it’s like right in my face like a neon red light. I realize that I must continue facing my fears, to include my fear of being an outcast.

Today, on one of my days off, I had an urge to write them all a letter, to include the few in my class who I truly respect and admire.

I also included the same “p.s.” note in each letter, as well as two quotes from Marianne Williamson (poster found next to quotesgram.com) and Gandhi (poster found next to www.pinterest.com). I plan on giving it to them this Tuesday.

I share this info because I trust that it will help others who happen to come upon this post as well; in addition, I didn’t include their full first names, last names, as well as my last name in my blog, nor my location on this planet.

The following are the letters (totaling 9, to include one to my current instructor):

UPDATE (only in neon green font)

Recognizing and Acknowledging My Own Judgmental and Loving Ways

(post published November 4, 2015, after this post: )

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In the very short amount of time that I’ve known you in this Esthetics class (2 weeks), I was initially impressed by your positive qualities that I’ve observed so far—smart, responsible for one’s assigned tasks, willing to take initiative, and interactive when you want to be.

So I was taken by surprise when I also noticed how outwardly judgmental you were about certain others who you hardly know—-intentionally ignoring others, becoming very irritated about them, and making assumptions. At first, I thought it was because you’re somewhat reserved, but then I realized that it could be due to you thinking that you’re better than them.

I also noticed your need to create separation (rather than unity) among certain people—like rolling your eyes and shaking your head in front of H and I about M behind her back. That’s why I shared with you afterwards that if you ever had a problem with me, that I hope you let me know.

I wondered…why is it that when one is direct with another—about their words or actions that stem from selfishness— it’s frowned upon (i.e., me being direct with M’s habitual selfish words), but yet, it’s ok to judge one behind their back and smile to their face (i.e., being two-faced).

Last but not least, I also noticed your need to engage in gossip without having all the facts (e.g., assuming that the senior Esties class had no intention to pay their share for the group’s pizza, as well as their intention to eat all the pizza in the break room).

We’re all imperfectly perfect beings continuously expanding, growing, learning, becoming wiser and learning to unconditionally love self and others. I trust that you’re much better than that, and I hope you awaken to this truth.

I realize that I, too, have challenges (rather than “weakness” like Michelle shared with us [Michelle Yamaguchi being a guest motivational speaker/energy worker at our school]) that I can work on as well, but I don’t expect you to help me with that, or even uplift, encourage, celebrate, motivate, inspire, or empower me or others; I understand that it has to come from deep within.

I wasn’t expecting us to be great friends, but I at least wanted to have a peaceful and harmonious relationship with all my classmates.

However, I chose to let go of that desire, and to just embrace what is (aka “keep it real”). I love connecting with others, however, I don’t kiss ass, and I can take hints.

It takes two hands to clap; one person can be open to fully connecting with others, however, when another is habitually not open to it, then a connection won’t be made. I’m all about the power of persistence, but there’s a Divine perfect time and a place for it; I don’t believe in forcing a connection between souls.

So I have good news for you. I will no longer bother you with any form of communication unless it’s something required for class purposes.

Take care, Barbara

p.s. I get it, I can often appear outspoken and going against the majority; however, I don’t apologize for that. I pray every morning to Divinity within me to always Be within me, as me, and expressing through me; hence, I trust that it will be so despite what my ego self/personality self may judge.

I trust that when we speak from integrated higher mind/heart, we will always seek and speak the truth. Many people don’t like to hear the truth because it seems to prohibit their ego self to continue doing unloving things and being unloving to others.

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In the very short amount of time that I’ve known you in this Esthetics class (2 weeks), I was initially impressed by your outwardly gentle demeanor.

Therefore, as classmate to classmate, I was interested in getting to know a gentle spirit. I intuitively know and trust that I did my best to be kind to you and initiate conversations in the past two weeks.

But every single time, you’ve made it clear with your very quick, half-smiles and short answers that you weren’t interested in making a connection, and that’s okay.

I wasn’t expecting us to be great friends, but I at least wanted to have a peaceful and harmonious relationship with all my classmates.

However, I chose to let go of that desire, and to just embrace what is (aka “keep it real”). I love connecting with others, however, I don’t kiss ass, and I can take hints.

So I have good news for you. I will no longer bother you with any form of communication unless it’s something required for class purposes.

Take care, Barbara

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In the very short amount of time that I’ve known you in this Esthetics class (2 weeks), I was initially impressed by your seemingly quiet and humble nature (along with your outer beauty), and I was interested in getting to know such a gentle spirit.

Even the third day or so of class, I shared with you how beautiful I noticed you are since the first day that I saw you, but that I didn’t compliment you right away in case you might have thought it was weird. I have no doubt that many females didn’t share this truth with you due to cattiness and/or their own insecurities.

I meant what I said at the time; however, in the past two weeks, I often noticed how you are on the inside—not a team player, not willing to take initiative, often saying and doing selfish things,, etc.—which diminished what I admired about you on the outside.

Outer beauty without inner beauty doesn’t last long, which explains why many men discontinue their relationships with hot women who are not beautiful on the inside. Those who are beautiful inside and out are not only very smart, but have a BIG heart.

You have a head start (with your outer beauty), why not be beautiful on the inside as well? Then, you would surely be like a Goddess.

I realize that I, too, have challenges (rather than “weakness” like Michelle shared with us) that I can work on as well, but I don’t expect you to help me with that, or even uplift, encourage, celebrate, motivate, inspire, or empower me or others; I understand that it has to come from deep within.

I wasn’t expecting us to be great friends, but I at least wanted to have a peaceful and harmonious relationship with all my classmates.

However, I chose to let go of that desire, and to just embrace what is (aka “keep it real”). I love connecting with others, however, I don’t kiss ass, and I can take hints…and you have given me more than enough with your habitually snobbish demeanor, words, and actions.

So I have good news for you. I will no longer bother you with any form of communication unless it’s something required for class purposes.

Take care, Barbara

p.s. I decided to write you a letter because I realized that there’s a spark of hope in you when I noticed at least one small act of kindness.

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In the very short amount of time that I’ve known you in this Esthetics class (2 weeks), I was initially impressed by your helpful moments, and I was also interested in getting to know such a kind spirit.

Recently, after a few questionable and confusing moments, I approached you and had a talk because I hoped for us to meet halfway. However, I thought about some of the things you said, and they didn’t quite add up.

You initially told me that perhaps it was “all in my mind” when I shared with you the truth about how I felt—that you seemed to have some problem(s) with me which I sensed from the way you looked at me at times, or through your demeanor, words and actions.

Yet, when you said that you initially thought that Kaley didn’t like you, it wasn’t “all in your mind”? Why is it that you can sense things that don’t feel right from others, but when I shared with you what I sensed from you, you immediately tried to discredit my experience as if it was all in my mind?

In addition, you mentioned, “I have nothings against you…I just think you’re smarter than me” to which I replied, “Are you kidding me? I had to take special classes in elementary school.”

To further clarify, the classes weren’t the “short bus” classes, they were just classes like “Special Reading” class and “Special Handwriting” class. I grew up bilingual, which initially caused me to be slower in learning English.

You also mentioned that I seemed overly focused in class and not interested in interacting. Well, like I said before, that’s how I learn…by paying attention as well as studying whenever I get the chance.

I don’t mind once in a while listening to your life happenings that you often share out loud (or other’s stories), but not all the time since I take this class seriously.

I’ve also been trained in the Army to read non-verbal communication, to include body language and microexpressions. In addition, my intuitive senses are keen, which helps me to strongly sense both positive and negative vibes. So I’m fully aware of who truly accepts (unconditionally), respects and likes me, and who doesn’t. So there’s no longer a need to pretend.

I wasn’t expecting us to be great friends, but I at least wanted to have a peaceful and harmonious relationship with all my classmates.

However, I chose to let go of that desire, and to just embrace what is (aka “keep it real”). I love connecting with others, however, I don’t kiss ass, and I can take hints.

So I have good news for you. I will no longer bother you with any form of communication unless it’s something required for class purposes.

Take care, Barbara

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In the very short amount of time that I’ve known you in this Esthetics class (2 weeks), I was initially impressed by your helpful moments and lovable personality, and I was interested in getting to know such a kind and free-spirited being.

I wasn’t expecting us to be great friends, but I at least wanted to have a peaceful and harmonious relationship with all my classmates.

However, I chose to let go of that desire, and to just embrace what is (aka “keep it real”). I love connecting with others, however, I don’t kiss ass, and I can take hints.

So I have good news for you. I will no longer bother you with any form of communication unless it’s something required for class purposes.

Take care, Barbara

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In the very short amount of time that I’ve known you in this Esthetics class (2 weeks), I was initially impressed by your strong and magnetic personality. So much so that I excitedly shared with my husband how much I respected and admired you.

I highy respected you that day when you gracefully and lovingly stomped what had the potential to turn into a bashing session. A classmate complained about how she couldn’t believe a client dared to receive service when she clearly had some dis-ease; however, I loved how you handled the situation in such a compassionate manner.

You reminded us to basically empathize with such clients, and imagine what it would feel like to be in their shoes—frightened, nervous, in denial, in search for healing, etc.

I was also impressed by your great sense of humor. I shared with Michelle Yamaguchi (via an email) that she should be a part-time comedian—among other wonderful qualities that I observed about her—and I trust that it applies to you as well.

You’re hiLARious, and you seem to effortlessly insert humor into moments in Divine perfect timing and order. They say that whenever we incorporate a great sense of humor in life, we’re in a very high vibrational frequency state.

There is one thing that I’d like to make clear though. The day you went off on me during class for making a so-called “discovery”—-having a brain fart and forgetting a major step (applying the cleanser gel with water, doing the spreads and following up with a cleanse routine)—-I never wanted to make another “mistake” again in this class.

Like I mentioned to you, it seemed odd that I gave guidance to one of my classmates throughout two “client sittings,” yet, when it was my turn, I completely forgot a step. It happens. The truth is, it was humiliating to be yelled at in that manner, and I trust that the situation wasn’t handled appropriately.

When I had a talk with you in private later that day, I was under the impression that you thought I had disrespected you in some way, which would’ve explained why you chose to go off on me in front of the whole class.

However, you stated that you definitely didn’t think that I disrespected you, but that you were merely trying to help me to focus, since you could tell that I felt bad for having made a mistake.

When I shared this conversation with my husband later that evening, he even confirmed my belief that something was very off about what you said—it didn’t add up.

So from what you said, if a student makes a “discovery,” a teacher should go off on them in front of the entire class; hence, further instilling fear of making another mistake? So was the whole, dramatic “Stop!” and “Look at me!” and so forth truly necessary?

I’m not a child that needs to be yelled at in that manner; in military Basic Training, it was expected to be yelled and screamed at by drill sergeants, but this isn’t the military, and even in the Army, they toned it down quite a bit.

I’ve experienced enough yelling throughout my entire childhood with my alcoholic, severely abusive, and merciless mother who had zero tolerance for mistakes period. I’m 42 years old now, and though I fully embrace my emotions, that isn’t a sign of weakness or an invitation to be verbally attacked.

Like I mentioned to you during our talk, I had never disrespected a teacher ever since elementary school; it’s a cultural thing. So I was quite surprised that you of all people reacted/yelled (from a state of fear energy) rather than responded (from a state of love energy).

I shared with you that I’m all open to constructive criticism; however, the same message can be conveyed without making another feel tiny. Even Michelle Yamaguchi mentioned that gentle is strong.

I’ll be honest with you, ever since I realized that what you said (during our talk) didn’t match with what you did (not so much what you did), I no longer trust you, and I’ve lost some respect and admiration for you as a teacher after various, questionable observations. I realize that you have wonderful qualities like we all do, but I don’t care to know you any more than I need to.

My husband suggested that perhaps you were having a bad day, or it was that time, and I agreed; but I trust that there’s more to that.

I’ve been trained in the Army to read non-verbal communication, to include body language and microexpressions. In addition, my intuitive senses are keen, which helps me to strongly sense both positive and negative vibes. So I’m fully aware of who truly accepts (unconditionally), respects and likes me, and who doesn’t.

I wasn’t expecting us to have a great relationship as student and teacher, but I at least wanted to have a peaceful and harmonious relationship with everyone in my class, to include you.

However, I chose to let go of that desire, and to just embrace what is (aka “keep it real”). I love connecting with others, however, I don’t kiss ass, and I can take hints.

I realize that I, too, have challenges (rather than “weakness” like Michelle shared with us) that I can work on as well, but I don’t expect you to help me with that, or even uplift, encourage, celebrate, motivate, inspire, or empower me; I understand that it has to come from deep within.

So I have good news for you. I will no longer bother you with any form of communication unless it’s something absolutely required for class purposes. And no worries, I won’t be the “chatty box” sharing information that people could care less to hear about.

I suppose one of the only challenges left is how to go about continuing this class, now that the purple elephant is out of the box. I’ll just continue to do my best in learning from this class, and you can continue doing your best at what you normally do without pretending to like or care about me.

There is an important point I’d like to make. To me it seems a bit @$$ backwards that the few who are habitually early and/or prompt are seemingly “punished” by having to do 25-45 steam towels every morning, but yet, the ones who come on time, or are even habitually late, don’t have to do steam towels. It’s also interesting to note that the habitually late student doesn’t take initiate, is not a team player, and often puts self before others; but yet, that seemingly goes unnoticed.

In addition, perhaps it’s time for those who habitually don’t like to read out loud, and who hardly ever volunteer to do stuff, to pull their heads out where the sun don’t shine and just DO, and stop relying on others to pick up their slack.

Barbara

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Hello Kathy,

In the very short amount of time that I’ve known you in this Esthetics class (2 weeks), I was initially impressed by your quiet demeanor and gentle personality.

Although we’ve only had one conversation recently—besides class related stuff—in that very brief amount of time, I’ve strongly sensed a loving presence about you—to include honesty, sincerity, non-judgmental yet very observant awareness, and genuine kindness.

So, I just wanted to thank you for being authentic you, and wanted to share with you a couple of my favorite inspirational quotes (below).

I look forward to getting to know you better. Enjoy….Barbara

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Hello Kendell,

In the very short amount of time that I’ve known you in this Esthetics class (2 weeks), I was initially impressed by your great sense of humor and lovable personality.

Although we’ve only known one another briefly, in that very short amount of time, I’ve strongly sensed a loving presence about you—to include honesty, thoughtfulness, and genuine kindness.

So, I just wanted to thank you for being authentic you, and wanted to share with you a couple of my favorite inspirational quotes (below).

I look forward to getting to know you better. Enjoy….Barbara

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Hello Kaley,

In the very short amount of time that I’ve known you in this Esthetics class (2 weeks), I was initially drawn to converse with you at the Introduction Day because you look very much like my little sister. Throughout the two weeks, I also noticed that you have very similar mannerisms as my sister as well, which seemed strange, yet, intriguing.

Although we’ve only known one another briefly, in that very short amount of time, I’ve noticed moments where your true, sweet self shined through.

So, I just wanted to thank you for being authentic you, and wanted to share with you a couple of my favorite inspirational quotes (below).

I look forward to getting to know you better. Enjoy….Barbara

November 1, 2015

The following are the letters (totaling 9, to include one to my current instructor):

UPDATE (only in neon green font)

Recognizing and Acknowledging My Own Judgmental and Loving Ways

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