Awkwardness

Almost every summer and winter vacation, Bobbie’s mother would drop her off at her Korean grandmother’s house. Bobbie’s closest cousins, who were sisters, also lived with their grandmother, along with Bobbie’s youngest uncle. Bobbie was  around seven years old, her older cousin was one year older, and her oldest cousin was a year older than her second cousin. Bobbie always looked forward to visiting them because they were like sisters. Bobbie and her cousins played well together since they were all close in age. Bobbie’s parents usually went on vacations to Thailand, Taiwan, etc. and Bobbie’s cousin’s mother was often away making money to support them. Their grandmother was like their second mother. Little uncle, who was in his twenties, was like a father figure to all three girls. It’s Korean custom for one of the sons to live with his mother. It’s usually the oldest one…but nothing’s perfect. One night, Bobbie and her cousins went to bed (a big, king-size mattress on the floor) in the same room. Uncle had his own room, but he always watched TV until real late in the main bedroom, where the girls were sleeping. Grandmother was at one of the aunt’s house that night. As Bobbie was getting ready to go to bed, she felt a hand reach into her bottom pajamas. She knew it was uncle, but she didn’t know what to do…she just froze. He then slowly made his way into her underwear, and Bobbie still acted as if she was sleeping. He gently touched her in her private area with up and down motions. Bobbie didn’t know what to make of it. It seemed so wrong; yet, it felt okay. Bobbie eventually fell asleep. The next day, Bobbie had to make a decision…to act as if nothing had happened. How else was she supposed to eat in front of her uncle and the rest of the family. She became a great actress…wearing a mask whenever needed. Telling mother wasn’t even an option because she would probably lose it and kill both Bobbie and her uncle. Keeping it a secret was not a problem because even with all the beatings from her mother, no one at school ever had a clue…they all that Bobbie was a happy student. Bobbie learned to forgive her uncle. He was probably lonely and curious and horny. Whatever the true reason was…it’s done deal, and Bobbie didn’t feel traumatized.