Attitude

2004, Hawaii:

“I saw two Asian females standing next to each other in uniform talking to their supervisor…completely the same in smacking their gum; yet, completely different.” said one of Bobbie’s former Soldiers (SGT V), who was apparently in awe of the comedic scenario the first day he saw them.

Note: SGT V’s story shared in post, “United Kingdoms of Unconditional Love” under sub-title “Teacher and Student to One Another” (which is a detailed story of the original, short post, “Confidence“)

First of all, Bobbie’s 4’9″, and she’s been this height since…more than likely 9th grade or so.

Hana grew on Bobbie like no other. There was something about her that was so magnetic. Although she was 5’10” (very tall for a Korean female) and approximately 200 + lbs (a little on the heavy side for an Asian female), looked like a skinnier female version of the singer Israel Kamakawiwoʻole—well-known for beautiful song, “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”—she walked around with pride and sheer confidence.

She would often make comments like, “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful” while batting her eyelashes. Bobbie loved hearing Hana’s self-empowering stories, to include getting ready for a night out.

Despite not being the ideal size for a female adult, she confidently knew what she liked and only wore what she liked, not concerned with what others may or may not accept and approve of.

During a phase where all the soldiers in Bobbie’s unit had to go to dental, Han and Bobbie crossed paths with a Korean-American Army dentist.

He was a middle-aged, family man who wasn’t that Americanized, but didn’t have  the typical, serious demeanor. He was very professional, personable, and transparently honest (e.g., basically telling us to stop making excuses and floss more often).

He reminded Bobbie of that older Asian brother that she never had, but always wanted (like ‘an Asian brotha from anotha motha’ as one of Bobbie’s other soldiers used to say to her).

Once, he said to Bobbie with a smile, “What’s with you guys [meaning Hana and I]?! Big Hana comes in for her cleaning, and says things like, ‘Be gentle; I’m a delicate flower,’ and tiny you come in for your cleaning with the demeanor of a tough, male soldier.”

Once, a snotty Navy Korean chic (who wasn’t that Americanized) told Hana that it was too bad that she (Hana) didn’t make the Korean Language team for the upcoming competition; and then added that she had made it.

Hana calmly replied to her, “Well, at least I can speak English.” That shut up the Navy chic real quick. Hana was straight up, and didn’t play games, like some other catty females who liked to make indirect, snotty-ass comments.

Hana usually left people like that speechless, and Bobbie loved that about her. She was so honest and refreshing! She once said that she believes in stating her truths whether or not people want to hear it.

She then added, “especially if they say something to get under your skin. Why stuff all your true emotions and suffer inside?” Bobbie agreed, that was a great point.

Unfortunately, within the Military Intelligence community, there was often the smiling to one’s face while talking shit behind their backs; but that’s not being authentic.

Sometimes, Hana went overboard with her smartassness, but even then, it was hilarious.

Once, one of their section supervisors—who looked like an anal version of Pierce Brosnan (which Bobbie shared with him)–came by their soul-sucking, cubicle area.

He looked at Hana’s computer screen with a displeased expression, and said in a serious tone, “Make sure you change that screen,” and left with his usual calm, cool, and collected demeanor.

Hana replied with a smartass tone, “Roger, Sergeant” but didn’t bother to change the screen. She was getting out soon, and she (like many others) was fed up with all the bs and corruption within the system.

Bobbie did her best not to smile while SSG Wookiee was standing there, but as soon as he left, she relaxed her facial muscles, looked over at Hana and shook her head side to side.

For each section of their computer screens, they were supposed to label them with work related titles, not obnoxious ones that had absolutely nothing to do with their job.

Despite Hana’s pain in the ass moments, Bobbie respected and admired other aspects of her. Whenever she brought lunch to work—which she sometimes brought extras—she would share with Bobbie the well thought out details of the prepping and cooking process.

Once, Bobbie was like, “What are you, a freakin’ gourmet chef?” She smiled her cute smile and offered Bobbie a taste. Hana had added shiitake mushrooms (among other veggies and meats) to her spaghetti, which Bobbie hadn’t tried before, and it was heavenly.

Bobbie didn’t realize it then, but looking back, Hana had put a lot of attention and love into her food, which shined through.

Hana often gave Bobbie life tips like how to become emotionally stronger, and how to become more assertive (yet gentle), especially with guys.

Though Hana was younger than Bobbie, Bobbie loved listening to her expressions; she was like her big, younger sister.

Sometimes, while sitting in Bobbie’s jeep in the parking lot, they would talk for a few hours after a long day’s work. Hana often made Bobbie smile and laugh her ass off, and even gave her more confidence in herself.

Bobbie felt so comfortable around Hana, which she later learned stems from not sensing any judgment from another.

Once, while Hana was sharing a scary scene from a horror movie that was coming soon, Bobbie stared eyes wide open into space with a fearful expression, and then softly suggested (in Korean), “Hey, let’s watch it together,” and Hana busted out laughing and said (in English), “You’re so stupid!”

At their last gathering together, during a unit Christmas party, their awesome First Sergeant—a former Special Forces Soldier—shared a funny story.

The day after officially getting out of the Army, Hana called up our First Sergeant and asked, “What’s up…Rob?” and he started laughing because he immediately recognized her smartass voice.

I’ve met many people throughout my life, but there are some who I truly miss due to their authenticity, sparkling personality, fiery passion, BIG heart, genuine kindness, great sense of humor, inner-strength, courageousness, determination, resilience, open-mindedness, bold attitude, craziness, unconventional ways, and last but not least…unconditional love.