I dedicate this post to my inner-child—especially the pure, free-spirited, wounded, and healed aspects—who was born into this physical body/vehicle to explore this particular Earth reality. Bobbie was her/my nickname since childhood.

Note: Image on right is me at 2 years old in South Korea while temporarily living with my grandmother (6 months to 3 years).

Bobbie, I intend to unconditionally accept and love ALL aspects of you––the so-called good and bad, right and wrong, dark and light, etc.—from the deepest level of my Being. You are Divine perfect creation—beautiful inside and out.

Despite all the earthly dramas that have caused much confusion (due to darkness/ignorance/lack of Light), hardship, pain (psychological–mental and emotional—physical, and spiritual), and suffering (due to lack of Divine Wisdom that EVERYTHING happens perfectly for the highest benefit of interconnected ALL of Life/All That Is and Unconditional Divine Love)…

Bobbie, we have learned many invaluable life lessons and gained profound wisdom together, especially the still expanding ways to unconditional accept/love ALL aspects of self and others (Unity Consciousness).

In addition, we also had some great times that made us smile, laugh, hug, love, be creative, share, have fun, celebrate, and much more.

Note: Pic below 1) between 4-5 yo at home in SD Pic 2) between 5-6 yo at adoptive dad’ friend’s house in CO Pic 3 ) between 6-7 yo at someone’s house in South Korea

Pic on right: Folks, this is what happens when an unprofessional hair stylist (your own mother) insists on cutting your bangs.

It’s one thing to give a kid the ultimate bowl/mullet hairdo of the 80’s, but for the love of God, at least trim it evenly. 

Back then, I didn’t believe my mother when she swore up and down that she had cut my bangs straight, and then blamed my naturally wavy hair for it turning out wrong.

However, when I starting cutting my own bangs as an adult, I noticed that they would bounce back up and do its own thing right after I cut them straight.  

I’m now able to empathize with my inner child’s once suppressed feelings of resentment towards my mother throughout elementary school; afterall, the haircut was just one of several embarrassing moments, and any kid who’s been teased in a mean manner can understand how miserable those moments can be.

I’m grateful now that I can look at this picture and smile at how cute I was back then, rather than continue to perceive myself through the eyes of those who once thought that I was ugly.

Thank you my Korean, older sister-like cousins—J. Y. 언니 (older sister) and J.I. 언니—for making me feel so loved throughout childhood.

Thank you for…

being so understanding and patient with me and my lack of Korean language skills at the time

translating various Korean shows to me, especially my favorite anime cartoon, “Candy”

teaching me how to write the Korean alphabet

showing me how to confidently draw and make pretty paper dolls

helping to develop my creative skills by coming up with various ways to have fun

including me in during your practice for school plays

making various “cookie and candy” foods using toy kitchenware

teaching me Korean songs

giving me all the hand-me-downs

teaching me how to fearlessly roller skate

begging my mother not to whoop my ass

often comforting me during sad times with hugs and kind words

treating me like a real sister

often standing up for me

Being beautiful inside and out 

Note: 5 pics above are: 1) my cousins and I and don’t recall who the boys are 2) Jung Im 언니 (older sister) and I, 3) my cousins, youngest uncle, and grandma, 4) oldest cousin Jung Yoon 언니 and husband when they got married 5) older cousin Jung Im 언니 and husband

Thank you my Korean, sister-like younger cousin—Myung Jee—for just being a loving soul while you were on Earth.

Though you had suddenly left our lives by choosing to commit suicide a while back, during your high school years, I deeply understand what you were going through, though I may not know all the details.

I have no doubt that your father having passed away from cancer deeply hurt you as well since you were very close to him.

Note: Pic on right of my cousin Myung Jee when she was a cute toddler.

Sometime in 2011, after I got out of the Army, I had a dream of him. I was crying in the dark, and your father/my uncle placed his hand on my shoulder and said that everything was okay.

I then saw a door that was lit around the edges, and your father opened it, and walked through. I trust that this dream meant that all is well in his world.

Note: Pic on left of my younger Seoul aunt, Myung Jee (in belly), and I

The ruthless school system in Korea—where most kindergarten kids come home around 10 pm taking various extra classes and high school students only get about 3-4 hours of sleep per night—and the overly competitive method of qualifying for entrance into universities, has caused many Korean students to commit suicide.

I trust this, and many other human dysfunctional ways of living and being, will soon be transmuted to a more freer, peaceful, loving, wiser, abundant, creative, and empowering ways of living and Being.

Despite your mother’s last words to you, which more than likely came off as insensitive and unloving, please know that she truly loves you dearly ever since you were in her belly.

She was merely frustrated from life’s challenges, and spoke words that she didn’t really mean, like the rest of the women in our extended family—wounded female warriors. See video,  “Transfoming the Female Wounded Warrior to the Divine Goddess´¯`·.¸.ღƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ.“

UPDATE poster added on 6/22/2024:

Note: Pic on right above of my younger Seoul aunt, Myung Jee (as newborn baby), and I

I’m grateful for all the fun times we had together throughout our childhood, mostly when you were little.

When I wasn’t able to see you in my dreams for almost 18 years, I was worried that you weren’t at peace since I was able to see other family members and relatives who had passed away.

However, I’m very grateful that I was able to see you in a dream a few times recently, though it was a much younger version of you. I chose to trust that all is well in your world, and that we will meet again in Divine perfect timing and orer.

Note: Pic of Myung Jee, my youngest uncle and I. I loved that she honestly expressed her true feelings about our uncle playing the guitar. I think I was playing along with her; either that, or she was imitating me.

Bobbie, let’s also be grateful for the rest of our Earth family. Regardless of their seemingly many shortcomings; they have all contributed in some way to your/my existence and well-being.

Thank you Korean great grandmother, whom the only memory I have of you as a child is you hugging my grandmother at your birthday celebration and expressing joyfully, “This is my baby!”

It was a precious moment that I still treasure to this day. As one can tell from the picture on right, it made my grandmother so happy to be so loved by her own mother.

Note: Pic on right of my Korean great grandmother on left and grandmother  on right (mother’s side)

Thank you Korean grandmother, Sun Hui (picture on left with my mother) for doing your best to be a good mother to your nine children and all of your grandchildren despite all that you’ve been through.

Although you were a woman of very few words, the kindest words you ever said about me (in front of relatives) was, “She’s 착해” when I was in my early thirties.

That was the first time I ever heard how you felt about me that I remember, and I will forever treasure that moment.

Those were the last words I heard from you since you passed away at 99; however, we visited one another during dream state several times.

Note: Pic on left of my grandmother and mother back in the day before I was born, probably around the sixties.

Thank you Korean grandfather for doing your best to live and just be despite all that you’ve been through.

Although Bobbie has never had the opportunity to meet you in this physical reality, I trust that she/I was given an opportunity to visit you in a past life/parallel reality due to her/my curiosity about you.

Afterall, Bobbie has only seen a portrait of you at her grandmother’s house.

In the vivid dream sometime after 2011, I was observing you (from right above your head) going about your business in an old, Korean village.

Although I wasn’t able to hear anything, I was grateful that I at least had a chance to see you in action. It was even okay that you weren’t aware of my presence. 

Note: Pic on right from left to right is my Buddha aunt (my two sister-like cousins’ mother whom I call Buddha aunt since she’s a Buddhist monk), and my mother. Though the pic was taken about 20 years ago or so, they pretty much look similar besides some gray hair. 

Thank you biological Earth mother Mun Y.H. for doing your best to be a good parent despite all that you’ve been through.

I realize that you loved me the best you knew how, and I appreciate all the life lessons you’ve taught me, either directly or indirectly.

Note: Pic on left is my mother and I in I think SD. By the way, I added certain post links within my “About” page that shares stories of various themes related to self, my family members and other interconnected, earthly and otherworldly souls I’ve crossed paths with during my life so far.

Thank you biological Earth father, Rollin/Ron M. Sugi, for doing your best to live and just be despite all that you’ve been through, to include having to live up to very strict expectations from your father growing up, whom you only wanted to be unconditionally accepted and loved by.

I trust that he loved you the best he knew how, and only raised you in a tough manner to make you a very strong man within a challenging world that didn’t exactly embrace Japanese-Americans at the time. Like your father, you have excelled and accomplished much; I’m now proud of you.

Even though you abandoned my mother and I without notice when I was six months old, your absence in my your life has ironically benefited me greatly.

Though that wasn’t your ego self’s intention, it was definitely your soul’s intention that matched the Divine Plan. In addition, I have no doubt that some of your positive characteristics have genetically benefited me as well. 

Note: Pic on right above is my bio dad in his earlier days. I found it on the internet.

Though you’ve been diagnosed with cancer shortly after your wife passed away, I’m glad that your doctors had misinformed you that you only had six to nine months to live since 2012. I truly wish you good health and happiness for the remainder of your life, though you may never read this message, or we may never cross paths again. Take care.

Note: I never saw a pic of my bio dad until my mid thirties, because my mother told me that she lost all of photos when she lost contact with her best friend. While I was deployed, my husband found a pic of my bio dad (on left above) which is the older version of him in his early to mid-seventies. The beautiful lady in white was his former wife Anna (3rd wife/in her early fifties), who was diagnosed with cancer shortly after I met her in 2008, and then passed away I think a couple of years later. She seemed like a gentle kind lady, and was known for her accomplishments at work.

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I didn’t know my grandparents on my adoptive dad’s side (Caucasian dad)—since he was an orphan who grew up in foster homes—or even on my bio father’s side.

However, I was grateful that I at least had the opportunity to see a picture of my grandfather on my bio dad’s side, as well as read about him in his obituary. Charles Sugi had passed away almost a year before I surprise visited my bio dad and his wife during Veteran’s Day weekend of 2008.

I thought it was interesting that I had initially attended U.C. Riverside (UCR) in 1991, and my grandfather was born there. I trust in Divine synchronicity.

I ended up withdrawing from UCR twice; the first time was due to not being able to pay the full-time tuition because my adoptive father claimed at the last minute that he had spent my college money on his then, recent third marriage to his decade-long, former mistress (technically fourth marriage since he married and divorced my mother twice).

I reapplied to UCR the next semester—because my adoptive dad promised he would send the paperwork that would show that he no longer supported me so that I could receive financial aid—but I had to withdraw again for the final time (after mid-terms) due my my dad never sending the paperwork. I still wasn’t able to pay the tuition (of a little over $3000), even though I was only taking two classes while working full-time as a secretary at _____ in Anaheim, CA. 

Side Note: Right after finding out what happened to the company—details in post, “The Ultimate Success in Life (to Include Business Success) Despite Temporary, Outer Circumstances”—I chose to exclude the name of the company.

After those disappointing experiences, my attitude was, “Fuck school!”

However, I ended up attending community college for a little while (while working as a waitress) shortly after I moved to Virginia from 19 to early 20’s.

I then took some college classes on Kadena AFB while living and working in Okinawa (mid-twenties), and even took college classes while in the Army (late twenties to early thirties), where I ended up with a AAS in Intelligence Operations (that didn’t really benefit me afterwards).

After leaving the Army life, I used the Post 9/11 GI Bill to complete more classes at a community college, and then attend UTSA; but I chose to finally leave the world of overrated colleges and universities after a series of experiences that didn’t feel right with my Soul/Spirit within (shared posts in About page).

I had never imagined that I would one day be grateful that I didn’t end up attending and graduating from a university that overcharges for education (now free information available on web) that would soon be antiquated and pretty much useless within the working world of society; hence, to this day, there are numerous people with degrees with no matching careers or jobs to show for them (just a pile of student loans to pay off).

According to my older half-sisters from my bio dad’s first marriage—whom I first talked to over the phone in 2012—my grandfather, though very strict, took good care of them growing up, to include taking them on fishing trips. Perhaps that was his way of making up fun times that he had missed out on with his own son (my bio dad).

I’m grateful that I finally had an opportunity to talk to my half siblings that my mother once informed me of in junior high school when she revealed the truth about my bio dad. Though I haven’t crossed paths with my older half-brother Steve yet, my half-sisters (or just sisters as I call them) Kathy and Pattie, and their lovable and loving family members, are wonderful people.

Thank you adoptive father, Daniel, for having raised Bobbie (with her bio mother) since she was three years old, despite all that you’ve been through, especially growing up in abusive foster homes after becoming an orphan.

When you suddenly passed away from a heart-attack in 2011, I felt as though I had lost my opportunity to at least make you a home-cooked meal and spend some quality time with you.

In addition, I also felt deeply sad one day, when I experienced a sudden realization of what had actually happened during the mid-nineties, when you had briefly stopped by my studio apartment in Virginia due to a scheduled upcoming conference in D.C.

Back then, I thought you were bragging when you told me that the opportunity to attend such a significant conference was as high as one could go in your field (equivalent to GS-15). My judgment was due to having been conditioned by my mother since childhood that both you and my bio dad were braggarts, with you being the milder version.

However, I much later realized that you were only yearning for acceptance and approval from a loved one—something that you more than likely never received from your own biological parents since you were mostly raised by various foster parents who were often abusive.

Since regrets only lower our vibratory frequency, and makes us feel like crap, it is my intention to joyfully go back in time—via my imagination and visulaization skills and/or through dream state—to that particular past reality/parallel reality, and reply to you at that very moment, “Dad, I’m so proud of you, and I love you with all of my heart.” And so it is.

I chose to let go of all the sadness and guilt (of no longer staying in touch with you) and trust that all is well between us now.

We have visited one another in almost a dozen dreams, and although a few were initially disturbing (sexual in nature), I chose to let go of judgment and unconditionally accept what is, which may be part of the process of fully loving another unconditionally.

I’m grateful that the most recent dream I had of you was—to me—full of loving energies, which I shared within a small section of the post, “An Altar Dedicated to Divine Goddess Within.”

I mentioned in the post that the dream of you was to me, symbolic of the Divine Masculine within me; however, depending on my perspective at whatever moment, it can also be symbolic of your gift to me from another dimension/reality/world. And ultimately, father figure and the Divine Masculine are One and the same. I wish your soul inner-peace.

This post was dedicated to my dad, Daniel => “I Was Blessed to Have My Dad.”

Note: Pic on left and right above are of me and my dad. I just now wondered why we were climbing a steep, mountain of boulders, which seems like an unusual place to take a small kid. My dad had me on his left side though, away from the edge. It is my intention that one day, when my mother and I cross paths again, I will remember to take this photo and ask her where we were and what was going on at the time. I have a strong feeling that it’s significant to know.

Pic on left: I think I was in 5th or 6th grade. I sense that my choice of outfit didn’t help with my extra cranky demeanor that day.  

Afterall, the above waist shorts probably gave me a massive, continual wedgie, and the almost knee-high socks prevented my calves from breathing in some fresh air.

Note: Pic on left from left to right => Me, my cousin Jung-Im 언니 (older sister), my Buddha aunt before she became a monk, and my grandmother. My two cousins and I were like The Three Musketeers, so I think my oldest cousin Jung-Yeon 언니 wasn’t there because she was busy with schoolwork.

When the majority are not smiling in a photo, that’s a neon sign that shouts, “No more taking freakin’ pictures in this scorching hot weather!” I think the picture right above was photo #50 that once fun day at an amusement park.

My mother absolutely loved taking pictures, so she ensured everyone else participated as well. But who could blame her? She was beautiful (her pic on right).

Pic on left: I used to not like this once haunting picture because 1) I looked like some Asian female gangsta with major attitude on a bad hair day, and 2) it reminded me of all the humiliating experiences I had while playing basketball throughout high school, and how much I sucked at it.

However, I was reminded of a deeply heartfelt experience that I had due to a special teacher/coach who believed in his students (though no one else did), which completely changed my perspective of this picture.

I shared this story in the post, “Treasuring Awe-Inspiring Souls” under the sub-title, “Lessons Beyond Academics.”

Pic on right: I used to not like this pic as well, because I used to think that I looked like some bloated 80’s chick who was high from one too many sprays of Aqua Net hairspray.

However, now I unconditionally accept and love this aspect of me who busted her ass off throughout high school juggling extra challenging classes, extracurricular activities, and studying until late at night—while taking Vivrin pills—despite living in an unhealthy and unsupportive environment where my single-parent mother suffered from alcoholism, violence and deep depression.

My high school years were some of the darkest days of my life—with abandonment from my adoptive father (divorcing my mother the second time); physical, verbal, and psychological abuse from my wounded mother; having been dumped by my first boyfriend/first love after he got what he wanted; abruptly having my toddler sister taken away after my mother raised her for three years since she was a newborn—-my dad’s baby from his mistress while married to my mother; having to provide answers to my friends and others at school who wondered who the “other, much younger woman” was that my dad kept bringing to the post snack bar where many of the high school students ate at during lunch, etc. Bobbie, we overcame all those earthly dramas, and we’re still here. 😉

One of the things that I noticed about life so far, is that whenever I go through a phase that seems like a frightening, severe thunder storm, a calm follows with much sunshine, clear blue skies and rainbows. 

The picture on left is an example of such times. This pic was taken while I was working for the U.S. government’s summer hire program in Pusan, South Korea (at MTMC). I think this was my junior summer year.

I shared a story about a soul-touching moment in the post, “Tears of Joy.” The beautiful Korean ladies in the picture with me were my co-workers who were like older sisters that I had always wanted—so kind, encouraging, supportive, helpful, humorous, playful, and guiding, especially the one on the very left side.

My mother told me that ever since I was a child, I was often drawn to older female figures, and would sit really close to older sister-like guests whenever I had an opportunity to meet them, smiling at them as though I fully trusted their presence. 

Looking back, I realize that my inner child was yearning to experience the unconditional acceptance and love of the Divine Feminine Goddess within.

Note: Pic on right from left to right => My Seoul aunt in red Korean traditional dress, my mother, my grandmother and my Buddha aunt before she became a monk.

My mother and aunts were (and still are) truly beautiful, warrior-like, strong women.

And out of all the women in my extended family, my Chef aunt (pic on right; don’t know who the other lady is on the right side) is, to me, the strongest of them all. I call her “Chef” aunt because she owns her own restaurant, and I have nicknames for most of my aunts that I’ve bonded with growing up.

My Chef aunt ,despite having been an orphan child—whom my grandmother adopted although she already had eight children of her own—and growing up in poverty and receiving no love from a man, has habitually loved others unconditionally with her big heart, gentle kindness, generosity, encouragements, support, honesty, wisdom, and much more.

My mother (pic on left from a while back), who was often critical and untrusting of people, to include her own family members, told me how much she respects and loves my Chef aunt (more than her full-blooded sisters), who often seems rough on the outside, but is a gentle teddy bear on the inside.

I trust that one day, I’ll have the opportunity to express my gratitude to my Chef aunt—and not just with words, which I already have—who has been a great blessing to my family members, especially to my mother.

She may have been the only human being who has ever given my mother hope for life and humanity through her unconditional love.

Note: I didn’t include any pics of my precious kids and hubby since I keep them very private.

Pic on right was me and one of my favorite, younger brother-like KATUSA soldiers, Heung-Woo, while stationed at my first, tactical unit in Korea. He was not only one of the most lovable and loving soldiers I had known—with much integrity, honesty, intelligence, and loyalty—but he also was the fastest, running between 10-11 minutes for the two mile Army Physical Fitness Test.

I used to think that my big smile in the pic was due to having been delirious from all the field exercise’s sleep deprivation, constipation (from very high-calorie MRE’s and stress), dehydration, bites from insects, etc., but I later realized that despite the miserable moments of one of my least favorite activities in the world, I was in the presence of one of the most loving human beings I had ever met; hence, the BIG smile.

One day, during my stay at my first unit, I decided to cook some home-made spaghetti and sides for whoever wanted to swing by from my platoon. Afterall, most of them often ate at the DiFac (dining facility) or out.

I used our compound’s recreation building since it provided the most space, along with half a kitchen. I went to the commissary, bought all the ingredients, and prepped and cooked everything with the help of I think a couple soldiers.

About a dozen or more soldiers showed up, ate and left. Only two soldiers volunteered to help clean up afterwards, Heung-Woo and Kyung-Su, another younger-brother-like KATUSA soldier who was very lovable, thoughtful, generous, humorous, and much more  (pic on left).

I was so grateful that they offered to help because the water to wash the dishes had to be fetched from another building, and everyone else had left the dirty paper plates, utensils, and soda cans all lying around, though trash cans were available.

Although I remained quiet while cleaning up, Heung-Woo and Kyung-Su expressed their frustration for me, stating how ungrateful the other soldiers were, that it’s one thing not to chip in for the food and not say a simple, “Thank you”, but that it’s quite another to just leave their trash everywhere after eating.

Note: Pic on right is me while stationed in Korea.

I didn’t expect anyone to chip in or thank me, but I agreed with Heung-Woo and Kyung-Su that the others could’ve at least thrown their trash in the trash can.

Well, that was the last time I ever volunteered to do something that most of the soldiers clearly didn’t appreciate. However, I continued to share my love for those who did in their own little ways, which can be as simple as a smile.

Note: Pic on left is me and a group of kids from a Korean orphanage who visited our post, Camp Essayons, at my first unit. I wrote a post about them called, “Jung: A Spiritual Reconnection Between Souls.”

Years later, I felt guilty at one point due to the belief that perhaps my love was conditional towards rude soldiers, and others like them; however, now I realize that expressing unconditional love for self and others in a balanced way is the harmonious way for all interconnected souls.

I also had a strong feeling that those so-called “ungrateful” and “rude” soldiers would not have that many opportunities where they would experience such generosity anymore, until they realized what they had taken advantage of, which I have no doubt wasn’t the first or last time since such behaviors are ingrained. It wouldn’t be a form of punishment from Spirit, but rather, a lesson to help them remember and appreciate the times they did experience kindness and generosity from others.

I initially had a difficult time understanding how one could be so obviously rude, as though it was intentional in order to be hurtful, like indirectly saying, “I’m showing you how much I don’t respect and like you.” 

If someone had taken their time, on their day off, to buy, prepare and cook a home-cooked meal for me and others, expressing a simple “Thank you”  and cleaning up after myself would be a given, and I would want to do much more for them in return.

I now thank so-called rude people, because they’ve shown me who I’m not; and I also thank amazing people like Heung-Woo and Kyung-Su for having shown me, through their habitual loving words and actions, who I truly am.

Looking back, I realize that such an experience was reflecting back to me that I need to remember (as a soul) to fully respect and unconditionally accept/love all aspects of self first and foremost, before expecting others to do so.

Note: Pic on right above is me on my day off while stationed in Hawaii from end of 2003 to 2007.

After leaving the Army life, I briefly worked at an early learning center, in the preschool classroom, as an assistant teacher. I learned/remembered that even four and five years olds are capable of expressing more gratitude, appreciation, thoughtfulness, kindness, generosity and unconditional love than many grown adult human beings I’ve known throughout my life, which I trust stems from the new generation having a much higher vibratory frequency, and Being more heart-centered. 

These children, besides my own when they were little, were some of the most fascinating beings I had ever met. I would love to share the class picture since they’re sooooo adorable; however, due to privacy reasons, I won’t.

When I dig deeper, and expand my consciousness, I realize that even this experience, like all others, was merely mirroring back to me my improved respect and love for self.

And with that realization, I can now see the experiences of those who are so-called rude and ungrateful at times through the ancient eyes of the Beloved I AM Presence/Christ within.

From this higher perspective, rude adults—who usually know better (mentally aware)—can be perceived as emotionally and spiritually under-developed adults, like some immature, sloppy, undisciplined, uncaring, forgetful and/or Children of the Corn-like kids.

For instance, if a mother-like figure prepared a meal for a group of small children, and all they did was show up, eat, and then abruptly leave without even a “Thank you” or throwing away their trash, the mother figure would unconditionally (even if they didn’t apologize) forgive the ungrateful lil rat bastards—I mean children—since she ultimately accepts and loves them unconditionally. However, the next time she would set rules (healthy boundaries) in order to teach them about respect and kindness.

On the other hand, an actual mother or grandmother (from back in the day) may be like, “Oh hell no! You knuckleheads get your tiny, ungrateful asses back here and clean up your mess! Y’all have lost your damn minds!”

Thanks to people who have a tendency to take advantage of others, and even rude folks—all teachers in disguise—I’ve learned/remembered to Be more assertive while in the Army, to include setting healthier boundaries, and ensured that a similar event wouldn’t be repeated again—kindness mistaken for weakness.

I’m very grateful for all the amazing people that I’ve had a chance to cross paths with throughout my life—which I’ve shared stories about in this blog, to include the posts, “Treasuring Awe-Inspiring Souls“ (mentioned above) and “The Priceless Gifts from the Queen of the Happy Dance! ^_^.”

I’m also very grateful for all of Life’s lessons/profound wisdom/reflections of who I am not, and who I truly am.

I look forward to meeting and having relationships with god and goddess-like Beings in this lifetime, in one of these countless parallel realities, as I one day magically master consistently living and Being in every present Moment of Now as who I truly am.  

I’m now able to reveal my full name for the first time without any worries since I (as ego self/personality self) have nothing else to lose => Barbara Jean (nickname: Bobbie; hence, old website link => https://bobbieslife.wordpress.com). UPDATE (only in orange font): I later realized that, as much as I wouldn’t mind freely sharing my personality self’s full identity, that it’s best to only share my first name for the privacy of so-called others—soul brothers/sisters of The One—within this blog; hence, I deleted my last name.

I trust that my ability to let go of being “in hiding” stems from my first step of honoring the Divine Goddess within me—via intention and co-creating a living altar and a recent matching post, “An Altar Dedicated to Divine Goddess Within“—as well as continuing to trust Divine synchronicity.

In a nutshell, I recently saw the address 11711 twice (on different streets parallel to one another) within 10 minutes or so while out and about with my husband helping him pass out “neighbor discount flyers” for his real estate business. I then intuitively knew that I was to remember that number.

The next day, while watching the video, “Bashar After Disclosure,” I felt an urge to buy a book recommended by Bashar (which he usually doesn’t do) titled, A.D. After Disclosure by Richard M. Dolan and Bryce Zabel.

After googling the title of the book, I immediately noticed that ordering the book online was $12.12, and I had seen 12:12 earlier that day, which to me, was another bread crumb that I was still on the “right” path.

However, rather than ordering a book, I had another urge (which I trust was from Spirit within) to type in my zipcode to locate the nearest Barnes and Noble that carries the book. I also like to physically check out books before buying them—one of my quirks—unless they’re not available in a nearby bookstore.

Anyway, to my amazement, the first address to the nearest bookstore (with the available book) that popped up contained the number 11711, the same number I saw twice the day before.

I instantaneously knew that was a sure sign to buy the book asap, and I followed my intuition (aka inner-knowing/inner guidance/Heart/Divine Feminine consciousness/Spirit), though my logical mind (aka ego self/unhealed masculine consciousness) informed me that I could use the money for more important things.

There was only one copy of that book, A.D. After Disclosure, at that 11711 bookstore; however, due to a mystery, brown stain on it the size of a dime, I decided to go to another Barnes and Noble.

Yes, I can be anal like that, but the point is, I bought the book nonetheless, despite so-called “financial issues” where the money could’ve been used for “more important” things.

Afterall, to me and many growing numbers of others, what’s most important is our growing and expanding consciousness, which leads us to living and just Being who we truly are in every present Moment of Now.

So far, the book, A.D. After Disclosure, by Richard M. Dolan and Bryce Zabel, is eloquently written, fairly easy to understand, and intriguing. Thank you Mr. Dolan and Mr. Zabel for what I trust is your brilliant work, and for Being a gift to humanity and beyond.

Now, whether it’s 11:11 (“Transcendence”/Twin Flame reunion/also in the form of 11711, among other examples) or 12:12 (aka Spiraling Consciousness/ Christ Consciousness/”Realization”), I trust that my Beloved I AM Presence/Christ within/Twin Flame within is always communicating or communing with me, and whether or not we’re on the same sheet of celestial music depends on how much I pay attention at any given moment—which I believe applies to everyone.

Well, I trust that another recent event was tied into this particular series of Divine synchronicity. My oldest half-sister (from my bio dad’s first marriage) informed me about a couple of months ago that after my bio dad’s tour in Korea (and after he left my mother and I), he showed her for the first time a baby picture of me when she was just a teenager (which unfortunately and understandably “devastated” her).

He told her that my name was Barbara Anne, which was the first time I had ever heard of that middle name being mine. I was informed, during the summer before 9th grade, by my adoptive dad that my mother told him that my bio dad had unofficially named me Barbara, so they decided to keep it, and my adoptive dad added the middle Jean.

Shortly after being informed of the name Anne, and while reading the book, The 12th Planet, by Zecharia Sitchin, I had a strange feeling as I read about Sin’s twin children, IN ANNA and UTU, and Utu’s temple E BABBARA on page 116 because I was instantly reminded of my middle name that I had recently found out about.

I wondered if that particular section of the reading was a reflection of the Twin Flame within me since our outer world is a reflection of our inner world. I have no doubt that there’s a good reason why I heard the name Anne, why my mother and adoptive father kept my first name Barbara, my birth date, among every other detail of my life, though I may not remember all the reasons yet. In due time.

For every soul,  I trust that our highest version of Self and Universe within, co-creates all of our realities for the highest benefit of Multidimensional Self (to include ego self/wounded inner child) and all interconnected Life throughout the multiverse; and Spirit makes no mistakes. 😉

I saw 1:11 on my laptop right after typing the previous sentence above, and although I may not know the full meaning of the sacred number code, for now, it reminds me of a quote from a reading that I had briefly checked out (due to its complexity) a while back titled, “Esoteric numbers and Esoteric Cycles” from the Humanity Healing website:

Interestingly, using the English gematria [a Kabbalistic method of interpreting the Hebrew scriptures by computing the numerical value of words, based on those of their constituent letters.] SUN+MOON = 111, another of the Greek triple numbers related to “key”, “nine”, “house”, and “dwelling”.

The reading/link above also provided a better understanding of 144, 111, 222, 333, 444, among others sacred number codes that I often see, which I was grateful for since the only interpretations I had as a guidance tool, prior to this new information, was from the website ANGEL NUMBERS – Joanne Sacred Scribes, which I trust still contains its truths.

Anyway, I combined the interpretation of 111 above with other information I had learned/remembered (and that resonated with me) and came to the following conclusion, which always has room to expand in its meaning:

Moon (Yin/Divine Feminine Energies/Consciousness) + Sun (Yang/Divine Masculine Energies/Consciousness), and when merged with Divine Spirit/All That Is =

I (God) AM (Goddess) Presence/ Twin Flame within / Christ (of both masculine and feminine energies) within / Divine Human.

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The following videos are very helpful to deeply understanding why we experience on Earth duality (seemingly separate, opposite forces such as darkness and Light and hot and cold)—that can be perceived as polarity (the merging and reuniting of seemingly opposite forces such as fear and unconditional love that are basically One/All That Is (i.e., color white) with different frequencies (i.e., opposite ends of the colors of rainbow that the human eyes can see, like red and violet)—-how we can experience the reality that we choose to live in by Being a matching vibratory frequency, and how we can bounce back to Being who we truly are after we have embraced and let go of the darkness that we used as a major tool at the Earth schoolhouse to learn many life lessons/wisdom:

• • • Bashar: The Rubberband Analogy
    • Bashar Changing Frequency and Parallel Reality
    • Abraham: What is the vibration of abundance?

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Added June 16, 2015

Excerpts from Thirty Veils of Illusion–Morning Arcturian Message

The following are just two of the many empowering quotes from the very captivating and helpful reading/link above that are great reminders for us all (I also shared a comment within the comment section of this reading that explains my deeper understanding of my negative experiences, a frequent theme throughout the majority of my life that I’m ready to release and transmute):

“There are always myriad possibilities in any situation and you will perceive that which you desire and expect to experience. If you go for a walk in the woods and you desire and expect to see birds, you will unconsciously search them out and put your attention on them. If you desire and expect to see litter, you will search it out and see mainly that. The truth is that both the birds and the litter coexist and you choose your reality by your desires, expectations, and consequent perceptions.

“You may ask, ‘Why would someone desire to see litter while walking in the woods or desire any negative experience?’ The answer is – habit. You have learned to feel safe with what is known and unsafe with what is unknown. If you have grown up with negativity in your environment, you have learned to feel safe in it. It is all you know and therefore you ‘expect’ negativity because you ‘desire’ the known rather than the unknown.

The following are intention statements that I co-created with my Beloved I AM Presence/Christ within/Twin Flame within, after reading the above:

It is my intention to perceive all that I desire and expect to experience from my Heart, which most highly resonates with who I truly am—to include the unknown. 

It is my intention to fall in love with the unknown, rather than continue to fear it, and unconditionally accept/love what is/All That Is. 

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Added June 24, 2015

Bashar on Simplicity, Abundance and The Natural Self : I love this very helpful, empowering, and inspirational message from Bashar (channeled through Darryl Anka), as well as the video, The Absolute BEST 1-hour BASHAR (Anka) Interview, that provides a clear understanding of channeling itself (something that probably everyone does at some point, even as our own Spirit within expressing through us).

The following are some intention statements that I co-created with my Beloved I AM Presence/Christ within/Twin Flame within, after watching the above Bashar videos:

It is my intention to always remember to be true to myself and others.

It is my intention to co-create the most with what I have, and to simply Be the most with who I currently am in every present Moment of Now, to the best of my ability. 

It is my intention to always be grateful and appreciative for all the Abundance, Prosperity and Wealth that’s already within me, and that already surrounds me, even though outer appearances may temporarily show me otherwise.

It is my intention to fully trust that my outer world will reflect my inner world of who I truly am, in Divine perfect timing and order. 

It is my intention to fully trust in the Divine Plan, and to confidently and intuitively know that everything that shows up in my outer reality are either an obvious blessing, or a blessing in disguise, which not only highly benefits my own soul journey, growth, and evolution, but all other interconnected Life and souls’ evolution of The One/All That Is as well.

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Added July 21, 2015

A very helpful reading for the healing of our wounded inner child/fearful ego self/judgmental personality self/unhealed male energy within/left logical brain=> Healing our Inner Child, especially the following section:

“The great thing about coming to terms with our relationship with our parents and healing our inner child is that our parents don’t even have to be involved in the process. By becoming the parent we never had or wished we would have had, we can actually address our inner child as if we were that perfect parent that we needed at the time we experienced the emotional hurt. We can then send unconditional love to this child and offer him/her the acceptance and kindness that we may not have gotten at the time […]”

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Added July 27, 2015

Some very helpful short videos, and the comments I had shared on Google + (as Bobbie D) after watching them:

• • Bashar on Jesus Yeshua : Clarity of Jesus’ teachings. Let us live and Be like Jesus who led The Way, was Christ Consciousness, and intended to co-create with Spirit within more leaders, not followers.
  • Bashar :: “Living an Extraordinary Life” highlights : Let us remember and intend at every moment to always embrace EVERYTHING that shows up in our lives, whether they come with earthly labels such as “good” or bad,” trusting that they—people, places, things, events, etc.—are either obvious blessings from our Universe within that our soul/SPirit has sent us, or blessings in disguise. ^_^
  • Bashar Letting Go of Fear Embracing Self Love : Let us dare to unconditionally accept/love ALL aspects of self and others.

8/8/2022

“READY to Experience Your Truly Authentic, WHOLE, Powerful & Free Self?“